What’s the appeal of sitting in front of a dead tree and eating candy out of your socks?

In response to last week’s question, “What’s the appeal of sitting in front of a dead tree and eating candy out of your socks?”, my Parrothead friend Sam wrote, “You are eating candy... enough said!” My dad’s beach buddy Bob was a bit more selective as he wrote, “Not if you have a live tree and there is a box of Godiva Chocolates in the stocking.” My cousin Wes added, “The appeal is obvious: Candy. It also explains why people dress up in costumes and extort candy from neighbors on Halloween.”

My dog rescue friend Kate asked, “Who does that ?????” My cable marketing friend Megan shared, “Just for the record, we sit in front of a fake tree and at least the socks are pretty and personalized!” This is more appealing than my friend Swany who wrote, “Actually the tree isn't dead, it's on life support. But I guess in a lot of homes, the tree is artificial so it's a prosthetic tree. But in either case, candy is good no matter where it comes from and no matter where you are eating it. And as long as it's your own sock, then OK unless of course your toenails are full of those cartoon, yellow, brown spotted, nail fungus creatures.”

My former colleague Chris, who is typically a non-conformist, suggested, “Everybody else's doing it so it must be right!” My organizational behaviorist friend Marya explained, “I believe it depends on the number of spiked eggnogs you consume!” My friend Royce countered, “too much Prozac.”

My neighbor Bob observed, “At the very least, it means I am not sitting at work like I am now or home with my never ending list of domestic chores. Just sitting in front of a tree would be good enough for me. Dead or alive.” And my friend Richard suggested, “it is better than sitting near a live skunk or badger, and it’s certainly better than eating anything out of your socks!”

My college roomie John reminisced, “Some years we had a live tree that had a root ball that we planted in the spring. Some have even lived. Now I have my version of an artificial Charlie Brown tree. We used to get small checks in our stockings since the pin would give out and the stocking filled with candy would fall off the mantle. So a live tree and money appeals to me.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ”:

   Should you make a New Year’s resolution about something you’ve already accomplished?

Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

The toe nail fan from above, Swany, reminded me that I always thought I was a “fun-gi.” What more can one say besides enjoy all that the holiday season has to offer --- family, friends, pets, volunteering and colleagues.

My dad, Hank, let me know that this Saturday, 1/1/11, marks the 100th birthday of Hank Greenberg, “the Jewish Babe Ruth.” Interesting article below when you have 5 min to read about a great athlete who maintained his values and love of his country.

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

In response to last week’s question, “Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?”, my friend Patrick explained “that a good vacuum really sucks because when you’re finished, it’s full of crap.”

My college roomie John declared that his “mind is in the gutter - there are a few things that are good if they suck.” John, agreeing with my cousin Wes noted that “A vacuum definitely is one thing in life that you want to suck” to which my friend Richard added, “If it didn’t, I’d take it back and demand a refund!” My English expert friend Marlene agreed, “If it does not suck, discard it!”

My neighbor Dick queried, “Would that mean that a "central vacuum system" sucks for the whole house?”

But then my dad’s beach buddy Bob leaves one wondering, “It depends on the type of vacuum.......”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ”:

    What’s the appeal of sitting in front of a dead tree and eating candy out of your socks?

Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

Courtesy of my musical friend, Eileen is The Christmas Can-Can by Straight No Chaser: http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1909243034?bctid=53156488001

Why does an alarm go off by going on?

A ponderable with the humor in the vein of George Carlin, Steven Wright and Demetri Martin:  In response to last week’s question, “Why does an alarm go off by going on?”, my comedic friend Bruce responded, “I wouldn’t know. My alarm goes to snooze.” 

My cousin’s brother-in-law’s wife, OK, we refer to her as Celina, sounded off this week, asking “after the alarm goes off and after you are awake, do you turn it off?” To this, my birthday bud Jon queried, “And then you shut it off. So did it go off, or did you make it go off?” Note: Celina “likes to default back to her European traditions and prefers to open the alarm clock and then to close the alarm clock.”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob concluded, “because it can never go off if you never turn it on.” In agreeing with this, my change management guru Marya added, “and that makes for one interesting day! ” My sailing friend Kurt observed, “I can think of several things that go off by getting turn on.”

My friend Royce concluded that this is a result of “a bad installation.”

My sailing and writing friend Rich observed, “I don't know, but when the alarm goes on too long, my wife goes off.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ”:

        Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 

Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

You can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed. When are you just "whelmed"?

In response to last week’s question, “You can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed. When are you just "whelmed"?”, my dad’s beach buddy Bob wrote, “It’s when the pleasure is not mutual.” My friend Vivian, however, stated confidently, “it’s when you have been taking your appropriate "medication" regularly.”

My friend Swany shared, “I was only whelmed once. I had to pay more to get whelmed twice.”

My friend Chris then explained, “It is simple, you are just whelmed most of the time of the day...you go through life whelmed, it is an Old English word and it is just a shame that nobody says "I am whelmed" anymore. It was mainly used to describe poor people’s lives.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ”:

           Why does an alarm go off by going on?

Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Why don’t the leaves all fall at the same time?

A ponderable with the humor in the vein of George Carlin, Steven Wright and Demetri Martin, in response to last week’s question, “Why don’t the leaves all fall at the same time?”, my first cousin-once-removed Greg, in between his classes at Oregon figured it is “to make room for the apples that don't fall too far from the tree.” However, my friend Kevin observed, “Just like people, some have a stronger will to live than others.”

My neighbor Al’s research revealed that “It's all part of a government plot to subsidize the leaf rake manufacturers. If all of the leaves fell at one time, everyone would only need to rake leaves once. Therefore less need to buy rakes.” My college roomie John didn’t think it was the government’s plan, instead, “It is nature's version of the Fall season busy work program! If it keeps us busy; maybe we’ll get in less trouble?”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob shared the practical answer, “Because the season lasts 3 months.” However, my friend Royce daringly explained, “Leaves are like women...they have their own schedule.”

My friend Chris responded, “it is the same reason our hair doesn't all fall out at the same time...irony...life changing, long lasting irony.” In this vein, my writing and sailing friend Rich explained, “Trees are so much sexier when it comes off one leaf at time. Why do you think they call it leaf peeping?”

My cycling friend Ted recalled, “Usually you spend an afternoon raking and admiring your work afterward. Two days later, the same tree dumps all over your fine work (usually at your spouse’s command), and she now yells down the hallway ‘when are you going to rake those leaves?’ “

My innovation friend turned photographer David ( http://davidmurray.org), ““I’m sure that there must have been trees that dropped all their leaves at once. But the dubious feat probably killed them instantly (think "micro burst"), making them evolutionary dead ends.” David then added, “I have often wondered about this and a similar question: what would happen if all the popcorn in the frying pan popped at once?”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ”:

     You can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed. 

   When are you just "whelmed"?  (from my eldest niece Trace)

Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

Consider finding something to be thankful for this week (maybe it will become a habit).

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you have left?

In response to last week’s question, “If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you have left?”, my engineering friend Steve and neighbor Bob, also an engineer concluded, “one odd end, of course!” Then my friend Richard and neighbor Al expounded, “Since there’s only one left, and one is an odd number, then it’s an “odd.” If you get rid of that one, that’s “the end.” "  To this, my sailing friend Kate determined that this would be “An even start :) ”

My friend Effie theorized, “Odds and ends in isolation instantly become “thingies.” In some instances they might be “whatchamacallits” or “Whojawhajits.” Mostly, though, they end up being the clutter in the bottom of the drawer, that you never quite want to get rid of but never ever use.” My friend Royce countered, “It's according to which pile - the odds or the ends - said object is in.” My friend Tracey added, “You have a piece of garbage. Throw it away!”

My sailing friend Scott determined, “All you have left is just a bunch of middles.” My videographer and sailing friend Ivan shared, “Once upon a time I had a bunch of odds and ends. One day I got rid of all but one of them and I had one left. The end.”

My friend Swany joked (I think), “A wife.”

My organizational behavior friend Marya recalled, “Something cherished --- even if it is just that trinket you got from your first love and no one else would understand why you would keep napkin!” My birthday bud Jon and cousin Wes determined, “That was an odd question to end the email with.” However, my dad’s beach buddy Bob concluded that when you get rid of the odds and ends, it’s “Total Fulfillment.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ”:

         Some things get out of whack. What’s a whack”? (from my friend Jan)

Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

I look forward to seeing many of your Thu night (see http://www.facebook.com/pages/Ecumenical-Thanksgiving-Service/119602054760740). As for my birthday bud Adam, I anticipate seeing his next creative response.

Is it possible for chickens to be brave?

A ponderable with the humor in the vein of George Carlin, Steven Wright and Demetri Martin, in response to last week’s question, “Is it possible for chickens to be brave?”, my Parrothead friend Sam, who is a highly educated biologist, wrote, “Chickens continue to run with their heads cut off - ergo, they never give up and are brave!” To this, my friend Richard noted, “Maybe not brave, but certainly plucky! (I know: Oy vey!!!)”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob responded, “Yes. Haven't you ever heard of "The Cock of the Roost"?

My neighbor Al observed, “I think that a wet hen can be brave, once you get her mad. But I've never really seen any mad wet hens.”

My cycling friend Ted noted, “all chickens say they will be brave, but ultimately, they are still chicken!! (based on my observations after 20 years of practicing dentistry).”

Then my writing and sailing friend Rich concluded, “You have to have a brain to tell you to be afraid. To be brave you have to override what your brain is telling you. If you haven't got enough of a brain to tell you why you are crossing the road, then when you get run over, it's just stupid.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ”:

      If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you have left? (from my friend Darcy)

Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

Thanks to my friend Adelbert who shared his homemade ginger beer at our sailing club dinner. Welcome to fresh flavor!

What is your class reunion like if you were home schooled?

A ponderable with the humor in the vein of Demetri Martin, Steven Martin, in response to last week’s question, “What is your class reunion like if you were home schooled?”, my sailing friend Scott called it a “a Party of One!” which my friend Kevin described as “Very exclusive.” My friend Tracey added, “and the food would be better.”

My friend Richard concluded, “At least you won’t have a bunch of former classmates who will be thinking about how old you now look!” Richard then added, “I recall the great line by O. A. “Bum” Phillips, former coach of the Houston Oilers (now Tennessee Titans) about Don Shula, coach of the Miami Dolphins: “I don’t know if he’s in a class by himself, but it sure don’t take long to call the roll!” “

My organizational behavior guru friend Marya shared, “I was born into 'redneck' (and proud of it), so I would imagine it would be so exciting to see those cousins you always had a crush on! ;-) “ It may be that my friend Royce was thinking alike when he added that it would be “about as exciting as dating 1 of your classmates.”

My friend Swany and dad’s beach buddy Bob concluded that the class reunion would be “a family reunion.” My cousin Wes noted that the two reunions in one “would be a good deal (value).”

My Caribbean sailing friend Jim announced that he finally had a response to these emails, determining such a reunion would be “boring unless you come from a dysfunctional family.” My college roomie John hoped that “there was a network of families, so you may have a few "classmates".

My videographer sailing friend Ivan described the reunion as a “High. Considering how low class most public schools seem to be, what with the overall decorum, conduct, dress, social graces, etiquette, manners, and use of whatever excuse that is for English, I would say my class reunion would be, at least comparatively High Class. As it was, most of my class was high most of the time, especially in class. Wow, I never realized just how "high class" we really were

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ”:

       Why are men’s undershirts sold in resealable bags?” 

        ( from my friend Patrick)

Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

PS: My sister Ilene made a fascinating observation: This October has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays, all in one month. Yeah for the weekends!