Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the plate is hot?

In response to last week’s question, "Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the plate is hot?",   my friend Royce declared, "Relativity."   My sailing friend Tom replied, "They don't believe either, but the plate is easier to reach." 

My birthday bud Jon queried, "Four billion? Really? No way!"   To this, my social media friend Mark responded, " :D You're right. So I counted. There are no more than 3,956,000,957 stars. I did not count burned out stars (are they really stars anyway), glowing white particles and I did not count movie stars or military stars. Maybe that is why our numbers differ.   Sometimes the servers tell you the food is good, and it isn't, so I just check the heat to make sure they are an honest group of servers before I put anything in my mouth."

My new-mom friend Kendra advised, "For me, the “hot-plate” test is really about trying to determine one’s sensitivity to a thermal stimulus.  While you may consider the plate to be “hot,” I might decide that it’s warm.  Comparatively, this test can also be conducted in a matter of seconds.   How long would it take you to count four billion stars?"   My neighbor Al had a similar analysis with a different conclusion when he wrote, "Because  you can't count all of the stars, but you can verify and determine what the other person considers '"hot'.  'Trust but verify'. "

My project mgmt friend Kim agreed, "In my opinion, the general population finds it impossible to touch four billion stars while the plate is just sitting there in front of them waiting to be touched. My personal experience is when a waiter tells me a plate is hot, the waiter does not know me personally and has no idea how much hot I can really take! :-)    So, I touch the plate to compare how much hot I can take versus the server. If the plate is indeed, very hot, the server earns a little more of my trust. I just might get that dessert suggested at the end of the meal."

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Why don’t Latinos speak Latin?

Life  is too short for drama and petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly, and forgive  quickly.

Hal

Congrats to my writing and sailing friend Rich, a regular contributor to Hmmm, whose son got married this past weekend.

If you know someone with a golden retriever in the ATL area, please let me know so that I can invite them to a great dog party (a petting zoo of sorts) on Oct 13.  Info at www.grra.com.

     

[Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration.]

What do you have when you get tired of thinking?

In response to last week’s question, "What do you have when you get tired of thinking? ", my sailing friend Scott suggested, "Sleep!  Or, maybe sailing (cruising, not racing)" to which my dad's beach buddy Bob added, "Sleep or a memory loss depending on your age."

My hiking friend Kelly replied, "TV" and my writing and sailing friend Rich added, "A YouTube video that starts out with "Dude! Watch this!"

My dog rescue friend David explained, "This must be a multiple choice answer as many answers work (in no particular order): Reality television, Alcohol, Corporate Governance, Obama-nism, Windows 8?   Too hard to choose just one, perhaps some alcohol will help. (Combination answers ok too).    Then it could be simple.  Perhaps “Thunk” is the answer as in 'Think, thank, thunk.' "

My birthday bud Jon and friend Richard agreed, "A job in management."   My cycling friend Ted countered, "A college graduate!"

My cousin Wes concluded, "Thoughtlessness" to which my product mgmt friend Doug added, "A promising career in politics!"   My engineering friend Steve agreed, "Lack of thought aka politicians, or did they ever think? Not sure," to which my neighbor Al suggested, "A liberal politician."

My project mgmt friend KJ  shared, "A forced shutdown which means all brain systems must go offline for a period of time in order for a system refresh to occur. Yes, I’m in the computer industry, yes I am."

My social media friend Mark surmised, "An empty coffee cup and an impossible-to-ignore urge to leave the office early."  And my friend Royce replied simply, "A tired brain."

My friend Richard also shared the old riddle he was reminded of:

QUESTION:  What’s the difference between a catfish and a manager?

ANSWER:  One is a scum-sucking, garbage-eating, bottom dweller.  The other is a fish.

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the plate is hot?  (from my friend Mark)

Life  is too short for drama and petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly, and forgive  quickly.

Hal

If you know someone with a golden retriever in the ATL area, please let me know so that I can invite them to a great dog party (a petting zoo of sorts) on Oct 13.  Info at www.grra.com .

     

[Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration.]

Is a clear conscience the sign of a bad memory?

In response to last week’s question, "Is a clear conscience the sign of a bad memory?", my product management friend and father of two, Doug advised, "No one makes it through their college or early parenting years with a “Clear Conscience.”  I wouldn’t call it bad memory, but it’s certainly “Selective Memory”.  (By the way, as every married man knows, a “Selective Memory” can be an invaluable survival tool.)

My dad's beach buddy Bob P countered, "No, It is a sign of a convenient memory!"  To this, my birthday bud Jon suggested, "Or a boring life."

My improv friend Bruce quipped, "I forgot what you just asked."  My IT friend Kosol continued, "A clear conscience is actually the sign of...wait, I forgot what I was writing about." And my social media friend Mark added, "If that were true, and I had a clear conscience, I would not remember that I did. So in all honesty, I have no answer for you. That I can remember anyway."

My cycling friend Ted replied, "Yes--For the Devil and certain politicians!"

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

                What do you have when you get tired of thinking? 

Life  is too short for drama and petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly, and forgive  quickly.

Hal

Passing along one more responses to "Why do pajama bottoms have pockets?"  From my DISH friend and new mom, Kendra who wrote, "Excited to read peoples thoughts on “why pajama bottoms have pockets?” J  I have also wondered the same thing about infant pajamas.  J "  

    

[Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration.]

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

In response to last week’s question, "Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?", my writing and sailing friend Rich replied, "I am not so sure they do mean the opposite.  We my wife oversees me, she overlooks the wonderfulness that is me."  My birthday bud Jon came to a similar conclusion as he wrote, "They don’t, at least to Congress."

My dad's beach buddy Bob  advised, "Mostly because if you never look you will never see what you may fall over."  And my dog rescue friend Kate reminded us, "Confucius say, 'To look and to see are two very different things'."

BTW:  My Noshfest friend Lon replied to the prior week's question about "Should a business protect its customers from the customer's own stupidity?",  and my friend Chris' response, "We certainly wouldn't have "The Pet Rock"…and "The Big Mouth Billy Bass."  Lon wrote, "Wait a minute on Billy Bass.  I am working with a firm that is importing/selling an Animatronic talking duck, licensed for Duck Dynasty, that says 10 sayings and sings 2 ZZ top songs. I only hope it sells  6 1/2 million pieces like Billy!!!"

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

            Why do pajama bottoms have pockets? (What do you put in the pockets when going to bed?) 

Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

Friends will meet you for a meal or activity.  Real friends will do that in the rain.  My friends who made Noshfest a success (and my friends who sail and do dog rescue in the rain), your friendship is what makes life complete and you are greatly, greatly appreciated.

[Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration.]