Why is it good that some things put hair on your chest?

< This was to be published prior to the 12/27 posting about Santa Claus >

In response to last week’s question, “Why is it good that some things put hair on your chest?“, my cable marketing friend Taylor, who noted that this was his “first ever response to a Hmmmm philosophized that this has the same basic meaning as ‘that which does not kill you makes you stronger’.”

My friend Richard  shared, “two thoughts:  (1) Where else (other than on top of your head) would you POSSIBLY want hair to grow? (2) It’s actually only good for men; not so much for women.”  My dad’s beach buddy Bob countered, “For protection against women with hair on their chest...hot stuff.”

My sailing and writing friend Rich concluded, “No good comes from any additional hair on the chest no matter how it got there.  Having reached an age where the occasional EKG is required on my broken heart and as a card carrying Cro-Magnon I can attest the removal of those little sensors hurts a bunch.”   My college roomie John pushed back, writing, “it is better than putting hair on your butt?!” My cousin Wes shared, “I wouldn't know. Since I have no hair on my chest, I must not have experienced any of those things.”

Then my friend Swany reminisced, “My father always gave the sage advice that eating or drinking certain things would "put hair on my chest."  Well, 50 years later and still only 1 hair has ever appeared on my chest. (The 1 hair probably couldn't decide whether to grow on top of my head or in the other, more southern region so it settled for the chest.)  The stuff dad made me eat and drink was either crap or my dad was not as wise as I believed as a kid.  Regardless, I too have found myself telling my kids when they wince at asparagus, push away the Brussels sprouts or shiver at spinach, "If you eat that, it will put hair on your chest."  My daughter doesn't like the concept.” 

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

If the other 2/3 of the world were Christian, could Santa still deliver everything on one night?

In the dictionary, play comes before work.  Work is rewarding, enjoyable and necessary. Just remember to play to make a better day.

Hal

Tue night: Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish family and friends.  Bring on the latkes.

Wed night: Winter Solstice --- the longest night of the year.  Another reason to celebrate!

f the other 2/3 of the world were Christian, could Santa still deliver everything on one night?

In response to last week’s question, “If the other 2/3 of the world were Christian, could Santa still deliver everything on one night?”, my friend Richard confidently explained, “Yes, Santa would have to enlist the aid of Subordinate Clauses.”  To this, my 2^nd cousin Greg clarified, “He would use Federelf Express.” And my friend

Tracey declared, “Of course he could! Duh! He's Santa Claus.” However, my dad’s beach buddy Bob cautioned, “All depends on the nature of the gifts....if a skimpy nighty ... Hmmm.”

My cousin Wes imagined, “Certainly!  Provided Santa's helpers (Mommy and Daddy) can afford to help or some other Santa helper organization steps up (Toys for Tots etc).    Maybe if Santa delivered to those other  2/3's of the people, we might have more peace on earth and goodwill among men.”

My friend Bruce concluded, “Yes he could, unless he gets employed by the U.S. Postal Service and needs 2-3 days for delivery and Saturdays off.”

My friend Kevin thought, “Well, probably not.  But it does remind me that we had to explain to our boys that Santa isn't anti-Semitic.”  My pilot friend Ted further explained, “There was once some geeky engineering type who calculated Santa's speed and trajectory if he were to hit every house on Christmas eve. He would have to be traveling 2-3x the speed of light. As we know from Einstein's calculations, nothing can travel faster than the speed of light, therefore there is no Santa.”

And then my friend Swany clarified it all, writing “Santa can and will deliver all gifts however the new gift policy will be instituted:

·         Gifts will be delivered but a maximum of two pieces per household which must be within the size and weight limits as follows (dimensional measurements calculated by adding the length, width and height of an item):

o   1st piece - up to 22 dimensional inches and no more than 10 lbs.  There is a $5.00 reindeer-burden surcharge fee per each additional pound.

o   2nd piece - up to 22 dimensional inches and no more than 10 lbs.  There is a $5.00 reindeer-burden surcharge fee per each additional pound.

·         One Christmas stocking gift may be requested but only can be up to 12 dimensional inches and must fit comfortably under Santa's seat. Only one stocking gift item is allowed unless otherwise stated.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

What is good about dropping a ball (peach, pelican or other object) to signify the start of the new year?

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift.  Remember to smile and enjoy.

Hal

Chinese tradition: Whatever you do on New Year’s Day you will be blessed or cursed with doing often during the year.  So do what you consider fun, get some exercise and don’t pay any bills on Sunday, Jan 1.  Alison and I will be sailing.  J

What is the opposite of hotcakes?

In response to la st week’s question, “What is the opposite of hotcakes?”, my dog rescue friend Kate and former colleague Chris realized it would be “cold pies, which are good for breakfast too.”   My dad is in the holiday spirit, saying “cold potatoes, particularly this time of the year when we have potatoes latkes.”  And my friend Richard called for “Cold cuts!” My sailing cousin Steve, a man after my own heart, knows it is “ice cream sandwiches!”

My friend Tracey scored points by responding simply, “ Icing. ;-)~   ”   My dad’s beach buddy Bob explained, “This one is a bone crusher...hmmm must be something cold?....Like my cheese cake that really sticks to your ribs.”  My CO cousin Wes believes it is “Hostess chocolate cupcakes. They are good cold, frozen or room temperature. You only need a glass of milk; no butter; no syrup.”

My college roomie John saw life from a different view, saying “probably a low fat bran muffin and fruit.”

Then my neighbor Al interpreted the question differently, answering, “an old hag” to which my videographer friend Ivan clarified, “my across the street neighbor.”  To this, my former colleague Swany called out, “The opposite of hotcakes is Janet Reno.”  All of this reminded by sailing friend Kurt of the country music experience, “I went to bed @ 2 with a 10 and woke up @ 10 with a 2.”

Along this line of thinking, my friend Royce wrote, “Being Suth-errr-in, I have no idea as to what a "hot cake" is. Now if you are talking about "hot cross buns" …..sorry not gonna go there.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Why is it good that some things put hair on your chest?

In the dictionary, play comes before work.  Work is rewarding, enjoyable and necessary. Just remember to play to make a better day.

Is shopping a sport or a game ?

In response to last week’s question, “Is shopping a sport or a game ?”, my cousin Valarie warned, “Those who make sport of shopping aren't really in the game.”  My dad’s beach buddy Bob explained, “Obviously a sport because you gain something material for her and future dividends.  In a game you walk away with nothing even when you win.”

My birthday bud Jon described shopping “like a horror movie” while my friend Kevin wrote, “on the day after Thanksgiving, shopping is a health risk.”  And my organization behavior friend Marya noted, “Sport or game is fun;  shopping is neither.  I believe the spawn of Satan created the mall, LOL!  I Y amazon.com!

My writing and sailing friend Rich shard, “My sister in law would say it is combat.”  My cycling friend Ted shared, “Shopping is definitely a professional sport-It's big business. It can even be a full contact sport on black Friday. I've seen 80 year old ladies tackle people in aisle 3 to get that TV for 50% off!!”   And my sailing friend Kurt recommended “shopping is to be avoided as much as possible. Shopping on Black Friday is unarmed combat, usually with a "lady" that is armed to the teeth and just has to have whatever it is that you picked up first.”

My friend Richard continued, “For most women, it is definitely a full-contact sport, especially at this time of the year. Unless it is a trip to a hardware or electronics store, it qualifies as torture. I suspect most men would prefer to be water-boarded than dragged along on a shopping expedition.  At best, shopping is a spectator sport, since the man’s primary role is to find a bench somewhere and guard all the shopping bags (and possibly hold their significant other’s purse).  My sailing friend Mike agreed, “For most men, if the wife/significant other is doing the shopping and no “husband” chair is available in the store, it borders on torture” to which my friend Royce confirmed,

“it is akin to TORTURE and should be covered by the Geneva Convention.”

My college roomie John concurred, “Shopping is sometimes a contact sport.  When I pull into the parking lot and say I am going to run in for a few items, I literally run into the store and quickly find the items I want and dash to the check out.  Sometimes I bump people while moving quickly in the store, I apologize, but this type of shopping is probably frowned upon.  To really categorize shopping, shopping for myself is the best, grocery shopping is a chore and not very rewarding, and shopping for someone who is impossible to buy for is the worst .”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

What is the opposite of hotcakes?

"We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." – Aristotle…..and keep laughing and smiling.

Why do so many people express their thankfulness by overeating?

In response to last week’s question, “Why do so many people express their thankfulness by overeating?”, my fellow Storer Cable alum Buck explained, “I overeat to show my thanksgiving because my mom guilted me that there are children starving in China.”  My dad’s beach buddy Bob shared, “According to the good book, "waste not, want not" and it also allows you to put something on your ribs for a rainy day.”

My colleague Kosol replied, “I must be thankful everyday then because I overeat every day. LOL.  We overeat because we celebrate abundance.  We usually eat according to our pockets and since we visit family and eat their food nothing really comes out of our pockets.  So there's an abundance of food.

My neighbor Dick observed, “Turkeys and People .........one good stuffing deserves another!”

My friend Royce suspiciously wrote, “They are probably stockholders in Weight Watchers or Nutri Systems.”

My cycling friend Ted explained, “Expressing thankfulness is one of many things I do by overeating. Expressing guilt is another thing I do by overeating. Then I go back to being thankful when the scale is relatively kind.”

My cable marketing friend Megan shared a Thanksgiving thought.  “For so many of us food and love go hand-in-hand.  We learned to cook standing in chairs next to our grandmothers, absorbing recipes that were often never written down that we will in turn pass to future generations.  We feel how special we are to our mothers, grandmothers and aunts when we see and smell our favorite foods, even when it means that there are 3 kinds of potatoes as a part of the meal just to make sure that everyone has their favorites.  It’s about the memories that are stirred by each smell and taste.  It’s about TRADITION!”   (Amen.)

“Oh yeah,” Megan added, “remember that whole thing about the Indians bringing food and sharing a feast with the Pilgrims to keep them from starving to death!?!?”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Is shopping a sport or a game ?

Today is the oldest you’ve ever been yet the youngest you’ll ever be.  Enjoy this day while it lasts and remember to smile.