How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

In response to last week’s question,  “How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?”, my colleague Louis reflected, “Because the father-in law has a .45 and isn’t afraid to go BACK to prison…..as he stated the first time he met you.”  My friend Richard agreed, and expounded, “Fathers-in-law far more likely own deadly weapons.  To wit: “Son, there’s three things you need to remember at all times: (1) That little girl you married is the most precious thing in the world to me; (2) I ain’t afraid to go back to prison; and (3) At this range, I can’t miss.”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob observed, “There are too many divorced couples with no bragging rights left to compliment us.”  My writing and sailing friend Rich surmised, “Because after being married to the mother in law for more years than he count, he deserves our compassion, not our derision.”

My birthday bud Jon noted, “Their wives don't want to share the spotlight.”  To this, my sailing friend Kurt added, “Because men usually are wise enough to accept the choice of their progeny quietly; mothers are used to making their opinions public.”

My college roomie John then advised, “Dads want their children to move out and be on their own.  They assume their son or daughter will call them if they need anything.  Later, the son or daughter has to be reminded that dad has children living at other addresses.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

If you are born on Feb 29, when do you celebrate your birthday each year?

 Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

To those that celebrate the quadrennial celebration, happy birthday (Wed).

Is there a better Valentine than yourself?

In response to last week’s question,   “Is there a better Valentine than yourself?”,  my friend Swany, whose advice I do miss, concluded, “it is really up to the "I" of the beholder.”

My birthday bud Jon wrote, “Of course—I married her!”, to which my sailing friend Kurt concurred, “only my beautiful bride” and my BBQ friend Alan shared, ‘Aw, that’s easy.  My better half!”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob advised, “There is no better gift than to give yourself.  What woman could refuse such a magnificent gift.”  My cycling friend Ted and my friend Royce were a bit more direct by answering “Nope!”

Then my friend Richard was a bit more humble, replying “There were a couple of Valentines who were much better than me in baseball: Bobby Valentine, who is now the manager of the Boston Red Sox, and Ellis Valentine, an outfielder with several teams in the 1970s and 1980s. On the bright side, I’m a LOT better than the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre of Al Capone fame.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

 Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

While the world is Irish on St Patrick’s day, does the world seem to be Catholic on Tuesday to observe Mardi Gras (but converting to something else when Lent does starts on Ash Wednesday)?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table, you always manage to knock something else over?

In response to last week’s question, “Why is it that  whenever  you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table, you always manage to knock something else over?”, my sailing friend Tom concluded, “because your grasp of the situation is much shorter than your reach” while my friend Royce offered, “some of us are more agile than others.”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob explained, “I did that to some of my old girlfriends also but there was a method to my madness. “

My birthday bud Jon observed, “And, if you’re a true Murphy’s Law-yer, it will always be something worse—saved the napkin, knocked over the milk.”  My sailing friend Kurt added, “Ain't that the truth, probably because you are focused so tightly on the napkin you are trying to catch you don't see the glass of milk you are going to knock over.”

However, my cycling friend Ted challenged, “It is because you cannot change fate or prophecy. If something was meant to fall, it's going to fall.”  My BBQ friend Alan clarified, “The basic problem with this is the underlying assumption that the item that just fell off the table (the original item) wasn’t supposed to be on the floor to begin with.  So the 2nd item fell on the floor as a show of support for the original item.  It (the original item), just wanted to stay on the floor.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Is there a better Valentine than yourself?

 Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

To help celebrate St Valentine’s Day this Tue (now you’ve been reminded):

·         <> Conversation Hearts: In 1866, candy manufacturer NECCO made the first "Conversation Hearts" — then called "Motto Hearts." According to NECCO, eight billion of these little candies are sold between January 1 and February 14.

·         <> In the United States, 64% of men do not make plans in advance for a romantic Valentine's Day with their sweethearts.

How does the groundhog prepare for its day?

In response to last week’s question, “How does the groundhog prepare for its day?”, my friend Richard determined it is “shadowboxing!”

My friend Royce said, “whatever it is, it was very repetitive,” to which my birthday bud Jon suggested, “Watching Bill Murray. Over and over again....”

My cousin Wes compared it to “a good ol' hillbilly who wakes up, yawns, stretches and goes outside for a long winter pee.  If it freezes before hitting the ground, six more weeks of winter.”

My cousin Valarie queried, “More importantly, how does the president prepare for its day?”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?  (from my friend Tracey)

 Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!