Why do people talk to their dog or cat in full sentences?

In response to last week’s question, "Why do people talk to their dog or cat in full sentences?," my experimental psychology friend Richard explained, "Because dogs are domesticated, we think they actually care about what we say.  However, we understand that cats are utterly indifferent to what we say, so every interaction with them feels like we’re serving a sentence."

My sailing friend Kurt replied, "For the same reason I use full sentences when talking to my teenage son, I don't think either of them understand what I am saying but at least I know what I meant."  To this, my college roomie John added, "Just being formal with our pets.  They deserve it."

My Parrothead friend Samantha declared, "To set a good example -- we don't want them to answer back in a sentence fragment.  That would be absurd."  My IT friend Kosol agreed, "Because it would lead them to be speaking in fragments. We wouldn't want that would we?"

My cycling friend Ted observed, "Judging by my children's grammar, I figure my dog has a better chance of understanding grammatically correct sentences!" My product management friend, Doug, annotated, "In this world of instant communication (e.g. text messages, twitter, etc…)  the art of the complete sentence has been lost.  I have two teenage daughters as evidence. Dogs and Cats are the only animals remaining that have the attention span needed to listen to a complete sentence.  Case in point, I just checked my iPhone three times while typing this message."

My hiking friend Kelly shared his personal experience, "It’s hard to tell them 'I’m going to drop you in an active volcano if you piss on my floor again' without using full sentences."

My writing and sailing friend Rich suggested, "I need to rephrase the question. Why does my wife tell the dog and cat what she wants from them but expects me to read her mind?"

And then my dad's beach buddy Bob asked, "Do people really do that?  Do they expect a  response?  When I had a dog the conversation went like this.  Sit, Stay, Down.  Shush, and go Poop.  When I asked the dog to speak, she howled sort of trying to sing.  All one word except 'go Poop'."

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

How is it that when worn once, shirts and underwear are dirty but pants aren't?    (from my friend Mark)

Live well...laugh often and heartily.... have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

Thanks to the many, many people who organized and brought more than 100 golden retrievers to the www.grra.com party yesterday.  Wow, dog people are wonderfully friendly and compassionate.  

[Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration.]