Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
When are you a nudist (or naturalist) and when are you an exhibitionist? (from a strategy discussion with my friends Daren and Mark)
In response to last week’s questions, “When something fades in the sun, where does the color go?”, my friend Richard concluded that “all the colors pool together in heaven and get distributed in the form of a tan among people who are blessed to have adequate amounts of photopigment in their skin. Since I am photopigment challenged, I am not a recipient of this benefit. People like me only get melanoma.”
My friend Vivian learned differently. “An American Indian myth stated that when wild flowers no longer have their colors, the colors have risen to the sky and have become part of a rainbow. Perhaps that is true of all things that have color and fade.” To this, my friend Tracey agreed, saying “Duh! They save all those calls for rainbows. However, my neighbor Al responded with “Barney, the purple dinosaur, and the Teletubbies would tell you that is where the rainbows get their color. – Oh is that ever sick! ”
My college roomie John saw a dark side when he wrote, “When the color fades, it evaporates and we breathe it into our lungs. All the colors come together to form more brown dung in our bodies.”
My birthday bud Jon, paralleling Einstein saying that energy is never created or destroyed, said that the colors go “back into the sun. As we all know, the white light from the sun is really made up of all different colors of the spectrum. This is how the sun replenishes the colors it needs.”
My dad’s beach buddy Bob described this as “it is absorbed and swallowed up, sort of like dropping a strawberry into a bowl of whipped cream.” My sailing friend Kurt said it’s “the same place the light goes when you turn off the switch.”
Then my sailing and writing friend Rich realized that the colors “become character! For years my wife has tried to toss out my collection of character filled shorts, tees and hats. If only they could talk, what a tale they could tell. Upon further review it's probably a good thing that they can't.”
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…
Monday, July 20
Monday, July 13
If you need a permit to have a gun, then shouldn’t you need one for having kids?
In response to last week’s questions, my sailing friend and artisan Kurt wrote, “don't women already have licensing authority on having children?” My neighbor Al came to the same conclusion when he wrote, “You only need a permit to carry a concealed weapon (gun, knife etc). Having a gun is an individual choice (unless you live in Kennesaw). In a similar way, you don’t need a permit to have sex with yourself (although the nuns would tell you that you’ll go blind). You do need a permit to have a baby: both sides have to agree. Unfortunately, we have a lot of stupid people having both.”
In support of such a permit, my running friend Tony wrote, “The concept of making individuals have to learn the rules and be tested on them, including demonstrating their abilities in a "road test" would be a novel idea for those looking to be parents. When you see kids having kids before they can legally drive it is a little hard to keep your opinions to yourself.” But my dad’s beach buddy Bob replied, “No worry, too many people are shooting blanks these days. If we have anymore permits, we will disappear from the earth as a species.”
“Only if you are going to shoot them, my friend Tracey recommends. “It seems the people who are most equipped to have children have problems doing so. However, young, unmarried, uneducated people seem more fertile than anyone else!”
My friend Alan voiced his opposition to a procreation permit, saying “Sue & I might not be able to get a permit. Fortunately, we have been blessed with Sam & Jonathan.” My friend Richard also opposed the permit while offering support for “a clean bill of health from a qualified mental health professional.”
“I would not be surprised if we don't see one once we get a government single-payer health care system in place,” my cousin Wes observed, “On the other hand, I think a permit of children would be very appropriate if we reverted to the Old Testament concept that it is the responsibility of parents to "cut off" (execute) their criminal children. That way parents may consider their child rearing responsibilities very carefully. And perhaps we could reduce the budgetary strain our penal system places on the economy.”
My world traveling friend Karen shared, “Actually, in China you do need a permit to have kids! With the government’s one-child policy, people have to apply for permission (and usually pay a heavy “tax”) for any kids after the first. Lots of Chinese put their daughters up for adoption so they can try again for a son who will care for them in their old age. Imagine what that’s like!”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
When something fades in the sun, where does the color go? (from my neighbor Al)
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…
Hal
My cousin Valarie, who enjoyed the lay/lie discussion, observed in last week’s question that the antecedent for having "one" is "gun" rather than "permit." She asked, “are you saying we need a gun for having kids?”
In support of such a permit, my running friend Tony wrote, “The concept of making individuals have to learn the rules and be tested on them, including demonstrating their abilities in a "road test" would be a novel idea for those looking to be parents. When you see kids having kids before they can legally drive it is a little hard to keep your opinions to yourself.” But my dad’s beach buddy Bob replied, “No worry, too many people are shooting blanks these days. If we have anymore permits, we will disappear from the earth as a species.”
“Only if you are going to shoot them, my friend Tracey recommends. “It seems the people who are most equipped to have children have problems doing so. However, young, unmarried, uneducated people seem more fertile than anyone else!”
My friend Alan voiced his opposition to a procreation permit, saying “Sue & I might not be able to get a permit. Fortunately, we have been blessed with Sam & Jonathan.” My friend Richard also opposed the permit while offering support for “a clean bill of health from a qualified mental health professional.”
“I would not be surprised if we don't see one once we get a government single-payer health care system in place,” my cousin Wes observed, “On the other hand, I think a permit of children would be very appropriate if we reverted to the Old Testament concept that it is the responsibility of parents to "cut off" (execute) their criminal children. That way parents may consider their child rearing responsibilities very carefully. And perhaps we could reduce the budgetary strain our penal system places on the economy.”
My world traveling friend Karen shared, “Actually, in China you do need a permit to have kids! With the government’s one-child policy, people have to apply for permission (and usually pay a heavy “tax”) for any kids after the first. Lots of Chinese put their daughters up for adoption so they can try again for a son who will care for them in their old age. Imagine what that’s like!”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
When something fades in the sun, where does the color go? (from my neighbor Al)
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…
Hal
My cousin Valarie, who enjoyed the lay/lie discussion, observed in last week’s question that the antecedent for having "one" is "gun" rather than "permit." She asked, “are you saying we need a gun for having kids?”
Monday, July 6
If 80% of people can't use “lay/lie” correctly, why don't we make those words interchangeable?
In response to last week’s questions, “If 80% of people can't use “lay/lie” correctly, why don't we make those words interchangeable?”, my friend Tracey may have been thinking forward when she wrote, “Are you telling me they aren't?”
My friend Vivian knew that “It wouldn't be so much fun especially when you have a nutty English teacher in high school trying to teach our class of goofy teenagers about lie/lay. Of course, our minds weren't always in the best place…Who us?” My flying friend Ted was a bit more mischievous when he responded, “If we were allowed to use these words interchangeably, we would have no way to piss off our English teachers.” Equally mischievous, my colleague Bill maintains his respect for his high school English teacher, Mrs. Bland.
While my cousin Valarie noted, “There's nothing humorous about dumbing down; eventually we'd return to the days when the masses couldn't read or write and have to paint frescoes on the wall to tell our stories,” her daughter Adare shared her feelings, “Ignorance is not bliss; ignorance is irritating."
My sailing friend Kate queried, “Well, it is sort of a dirty trick that the past tense of lie is lay. What is up with that?”
My neighbor Dick didn’t seem worried as he responded, “You know that 65.5% of all statistics are made up out of thin air (like this one).”
My birthday bud Jon is OK with the change “especially since many people will lie (in either meaning) for a lay.” Possibly recalling his high school youth or his current (SC) governor, my dad’s beach buddy Bob observed, “You may lie about with whom you lay on occasion.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
If you need a permit to have a gun, then shouldn’t you need one for
having kids? (from my friend Diane)
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…
Hal
From last week, my colleague Tara concluded “This one was just wrong…. LOL” while my neighbor Dick observed, “Did you ever wonder why the topic of "being naked" got so many responses? Must be a lot of "closet" nudists here.”
My friend Vivian knew that “It wouldn't be so much fun especially when you have a nutty English teacher in high school trying to teach our class of goofy teenagers about lie/lay. Of course, our minds weren't always in the best place…Who us?” My flying friend Ted was a bit more mischievous when he responded, “If we were allowed to use these words interchangeably, we would have no way to piss off our English teachers.” Equally mischievous, my colleague Bill maintains his respect for his high school English teacher, Mrs. Bland.
While my cousin Valarie noted, “There's nothing humorous about dumbing down; eventually we'd return to the days when the masses couldn't read or write and have to paint frescoes on the wall to tell our stories,” her daughter Adare shared her feelings, “Ignorance is not bliss; ignorance is irritating."
My sailing friend Kate queried, “Well, it is sort of a dirty trick that the past tense of lie is lay. What is up with that?”
My neighbor Dick didn’t seem worried as he responded, “You know that 65.5% of all statistics are made up out of thin air (like this one).”
My birthday bud Jon is OK with the change “especially since many people will lie (in either meaning) for a lay.” Possibly recalling his high school youth or his current (SC) governor, my dad’s beach buddy Bob observed, “You may lie about with whom you lay on occasion.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
If you need a permit to have a gun, then shouldn’t you need one for
having kids? (from my friend Diane)
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…
Hal
From last week, my colleague Tara concluded “This one was just wrong…. LOL” while my neighbor Dick observed, “Did you ever wonder why the topic of "being naked" got so many responses? Must be a lot of "closet" nudists here.”
Monday, June 29
Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?
In response to last week’s question, “Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?”, my neighbor kept Tracey’s joke running by responding, “Have you seen MY relatives?” He added, “Statues of naked people are typically beautiful idealized human forms. The reality is that real naked humans are not.”
While my sailing friend John, provides his practicing-nudist perspective at the end of this email, my friend Richard concluded that “Statues don't have to worry about melanoma” while my friend Ed added “two words, “cold” and “shrinkage”. My birthday bud Jon noted that statues can be naked “because statues do not "respond" to stimulating stimuli.”
My sailing friend Vaughn wrote, “The statues are well proportioned and nothing shifts,” to which my dad’s beach buddy Bob said we can run outside “if you're stiff enough.”
My running friend Tony had another concern about shifts when he wrote, “It is the ‘mobility factor’ (which my cousin Wes described “as bouncing”) that prevents us from running in the nude, plus where do you put your rehydration/salt material without pockets.”
“Maybe it’s a plot by the fashionistas,” wrote my friend Blair. “Show your perfect bodies in sculptures in public, then when you see reality in your own home mirror you are more tempted than ever to buy the latest “in style” offering to distract people from what you REALLY look like!” My sailing friend Kate observed, “Artistic statues are idyllic - the Venus de Milo and King David, for example. Real people come in all shapes and sizes. Seeing some people naked could be awkward or even downright disturbing. Going to the grocery store should not be a potentially traumatic event!”
My friends Royce and Vivian and neighbor Dick agreed, “Because, in the majority of cases, the statues look better than the real thing,” which my neighbor Stan described as “the cream of man/woman hood. Now consider what common folk look like running around naked.” My quality friend Marya added, “Dude, there are just some people (and that includes me, I'm not self deprecating, I'm just damn honest) that should NOT be outside naked!” My flying friend Ted added, “We should enjoy the protection of not running nudist affords our eyes.”
My friend Alan queried, “Have you seen the people who put out those statues?”
And my sailing, writing friend Rich concluded, “In the south one cannot run naked. You can, however, run nekkid.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
If 80% of people can't use “lay/lie” correctly, why don't we make those words interchangeable?” (from my friend Ivan)
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…
Hal
From John: First of all, you’re making the assumption that you can’t run outside naked. This assumption is absolutely invalid!! In fact, the assumption you make hints that you might actually suffer from gymnophobia(*). These are people who experience anxiety about seeing others naked (or being seen naked, or both).
You CAN run outside naked. Anytime you want. People chose not to do it because their country/state/community may prosecute them for doing so. This is certainly not the case around the world, and in many specific cases within the U.S. Nudity is completely legal in Spain (said to be the most nudist-friendly country in the world. See http://www.nudistday.com/index.php/article/public-nudity-is-completely-legal-in-spain.html In some states, such as Oregon, public nudity is legal and protected as free speech, as long as there is not the “intent to arouse”. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Public_nudity
There are many naturist resorts (such as Bell Acres, just north of Atlanta) where running outside naked is clearly encouraged. And of course, there are events where nudity is extremely common and not prosecuted, such as the Burning Man festival.
Just some things to think about ….
(*)Note: While Microsoft doesn’t know of this word, http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gymnophobia confirmed Wikipedia’s entry and should not be confused with gynophobia, which is a fear of certain bodies.
While my sailing friend John, provides his practicing-nudist perspective at the end of this email, my friend Richard concluded that “Statues don't have to worry about melanoma” while my friend Ed added “two words, “cold” and “shrinkage”. My birthday bud Jon noted that statues can be naked “because statues do not "respond" to stimulating stimuli.”
My sailing friend Vaughn wrote, “The statues are well proportioned and nothing shifts,” to which my dad’s beach buddy Bob said we can run outside “if you're stiff enough.”
My running friend Tony had another concern about shifts when he wrote, “It is the ‘mobility factor’ (which my cousin Wes described “as bouncing”) that prevents us from running in the nude, plus where do you put your rehydration/salt material without pockets.”
“Maybe it’s a plot by the fashionistas,” wrote my friend Blair. “Show your perfect bodies in sculptures in public, then when you see reality in your own home mirror you are more tempted than ever to buy the latest “in style” offering to distract people from what you REALLY look like!” My sailing friend Kate observed, “Artistic statues are idyllic - the Venus de Milo and King David, for example. Real people come in all shapes and sizes. Seeing some people naked could be awkward or even downright disturbing. Going to the grocery store should not be a potentially traumatic event!”
My friends Royce and Vivian and neighbor Dick agreed, “Because, in the majority of cases, the statues look better than the real thing,” which my neighbor Stan described as “the cream of man/woman hood. Now consider what common folk look like running around naked.” My quality friend Marya added, “Dude, there are just some people (and that includes me, I'm not self deprecating, I'm just damn honest) that should NOT be outside naked!” My flying friend Ted added, “We should enjoy the protection of not running nudist affords our eyes.”
My friend Alan queried, “Have you seen the people who put out those statues?”
And my sailing, writing friend Rich concluded, “In the south one cannot run naked. You can, however, run nekkid.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
If 80% of people can't use “lay/lie” correctly, why don't we make those words interchangeable?” (from my friend Ivan)
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…
Hal
From John: First of all, you’re making the assumption that you can’t run outside naked. This assumption is absolutely invalid!! In fact, the assumption you make hints that you might actually suffer from gymnophobia(*). These are people who experience anxiety about seeing others naked (or being seen naked, or both).
You CAN run outside naked. Anytime you want. People chose not to do it because their country/state/community may prosecute them for doing so. This is certainly not the case around the world, and in many specific cases within the U.S. Nudity is completely legal in Spain (said to be the most nudist-friendly country in the world. See http://www.nudistday.com/index.php/article/public-nudity-is-completely-legal-in-spain.html In some states, such as Oregon, public nudity is legal and protected as free speech, as long as there is not the “intent to arouse”. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Public_nudity
There are many naturist resorts (such as Bell Acres, just north of Atlanta) where running outside naked is clearly encouraged. And of course, there are events where nudity is extremely common and not prosecuted, such as the Burning Man festival.
Just some things to think about ….
(*)Note: While Microsoft doesn’t know of this word, http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gymnophobia confirmed Wikipedia’s entry and should not be confused with gynophobia, which is a fear of certain bodies.
Monday, June 15
If unique is one of a kind, how can you be very unique?
In response to last week’s question, “If unique is one of a kind, how can you be very unique?”, my birthday bud Jon and sailing videographer Ivan responded, “The same way you can be a little pregnant.” Ivan added, “I thought unique was binary? Like being pregnant. If I flip a coin, can it be very heads?”
My friend Tracey quipped, “Have you ever met any of my relatives?”
My sailing and writing buddy Rich agreed with Blair for a different reason. “While grammatically incorrect there are times where only a description of very unique will do. Dancing on a table at the Christmas party may make you unique, doing it naked makes you very unique .”
My friend Marlene, who well knows her English, suggested, “you do not have to be totally unique--just unique in special ways.” My musically inclined friend Blair, waxed poetically, “’Very’ gives a little extra distinction or oomph to the "unique" label. For example...every snowflake is unique, BUT some snowflakes are big, plump, juicy mini-snowballs or large, wispy, feathery works of art - so I'd call them VERY unique.”
My friend Richard concluded, “Be none of a kind?” to which my dad’s beach buddy Bob added, “You must be a ZERO, a nothing, un nada, a........, but there are so many of them they just cannot be Unique!”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
Do we need a little more chlorine added to the gene pool ?
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…
Hal
Ivan’s Rant: Don't get me started. This is one of my pet peeves of handling the English language. “Unique” used to be a powerful word.
If English is a living language, and therefore I am supposed to accept that things change, I suggest that as a living being, the language just got sick. To put it in a way even the IM's of the world (ignorant masses) can understand, the language took a major hit point to its manna, or health. It needs a little nurturing to get it back to life!
If the literary giants were to change something to make the language grow, I am all for it. If the dumb masses change it so they can use a big word or sound intelligent then I am not for it. Seems most words are changing out of ignorance. What a shame. Did you know that infer now means imply? Look it up, third definition of infer is to imply. Dammit all if the Dumbmasses haven't taken a perfectly good word and made it it's opposite!
My friend Tracey quipped, “Have you ever met any of my relatives?”
My sailing and writing buddy Rich agreed with Blair for a different reason. “While grammatically incorrect there are times where only a description of very unique will do. Dancing on a table at the Christmas party may make you unique, doing it naked makes you very unique .”
My friend Marlene, who well knows her English, suggested, “you do not have to be totally unique--just unique in special ways.” My musically inclined friend Blair, waxed poetically, “’Very’ gives a little extra distinction or oomph to the "unique" label. For example...every snowflake is unique, BUT some snowflakes are big, plump, juicy mini-snowballs or large, wispy, feathery works of art - so I'd call them VERY unique.”
My friend Richard concluded, “Be none of a kind?” to which my dad’s beach buddy Bob added, “You must be a ZERO, a nothing, un nada, a........, but there are so many of them they just cannot be Unique!”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
Do we need a little more chlorine added to the gene pool ?
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…
Hal
Ivan’s Rant: Don't get me started. This is one of my pet peeves of handling the English language. “Unique” used to be a powerful word.
If English is a living language, and therefore I am supposed to accept that things change, I suggest that as a living being, the language just got sick. To put it in a way even the IM's of the world (ignorant masses) can understand, the language took a major hit point to its manna, or health. It needs a little nurturing to get it back to life!
If the literary giants were to change something to make the language grow, I am all for it. If the dumb masses change it so they can use a big word or sound intelligent then I am not for it. Seems most words are changing out of ignorance. What a shame. Did you know that infer now means imply? Look it up, third definition of infer is to imply. Dammit all if the Dumbmasses haven't taken a perfectly good word and made it it's opposite!
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