"What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

In response to last week’s question, "What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?", my birthday bud Jon queried, "You don't really expect an answer, do you?"; several people did.

My writing and sailing friend Rich concluded, "If you tell a joke and don't expect anyone to laugh, does that make it rhetorical or just a bad joke?"

My cycling friend Ted observed, "When you cross a joke with a rhetorical question you sometimes wind up with a marriage!" to which my dad's beach buddy Bob noted, "or an argument with your wife."

My friend Royce suggested that it's "a repeating laugh" while my corporate culture friend (and 1st time contributor) Terri K responded, "confusion, but then I am very slow on the draw with jokes in the first place."

My friend Carrie, who provided the question,  shared "How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?  Ask them to pronounce unionized."

Please share your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Is stupidity a handicap that gets you a better parking space?

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that makes you smile!

Hal

Being off of the grid last week was a delight (including the picture below) yet I did miss my family and friends.   Wishes for a speedy recovery to my cycling friend Ted's mom as well as my mom.

When do you get experience?

In response to last week’s question, "When do you get experience?", my writing and sailing friend Rich explained, "For some it is when they feel the warmth of the fire, for others it is when their hair bursts into flame."

My cousin Don recalled, "Right about when you say to yourself, I shouldn’t have done that (like Twain, carrying the cat by the tail)," to which my friend Richard advised, "Good judgment comes from experience. Where does experience come from? BAD judgment!"   This might explain why my sailing friend Bradley pointed out, "I always get experience when I don’t want it.

My dad's beach buddy Bob responded, "Every day as you look back at yesterday's Gains & Losses."  My friend Tracey  revealed, "You get experience right after you get turned down for a coveted job for not having enough experience."

My friend temple friend Ed wrote, "I really don't know--you will have to ask Jimi Hendrix" to which my sailing friend Mike added, "Jimi Hendrix once asked me "are you experienced?"  Then my social media friend Mark explained, "Well, it has been a few years since I tried to understand Hendrix, but if memory serves me well, a bit of medicinal marijuana helped greatly."

My engineering friend Steve advised, "While not always successful, I try for everyday," to which my friend Lon  G  added, "as you and I  regularly quote the immortal words of Yoda:"Do. Or do not. There is no try.” (From The Empire Strikes Back.) One gets experience when one does something."

Please share your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?  from my friend Carrie

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably And never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

Thank you for the many, many prayers and kind thoughts about my mother's health.  She is stable and recuperating through rehab.  We won't know the long term prognosis for another week or two.  Alison and I are truly blessed to have y'all in our lives, so again, thank you.

www.nichelabs.com

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration.

Does your conscience hurt when all your other parts feel good?

In response to last week’s question, "Does your conscience hurt when all your other parts feel good",  my engineering friend Steve replied, "I guess that depends on what you did to make all your other parts feel good" to which my writing and sailing friend Rich explained, "I generally find that the better it feels the less my conscience seems to notice."

My IT friend Kosol cautioned, "No, but I'm sure my wallet does."   Then my dad's beach buddy Bob shared, "That is something I will never tell her."

My friend Richard revealed, "There’s no correlation between my conscience and the way I feel. My conscience ALWAYS feels guilty, no matter what, for which I thank my Jewish mother.  The essence of Jewish motherhood is of course best captured in the riddle “How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?”  The answer is (of course) “Don’t bother. I’ll just sit here in the dark….alone….and worry.” Or: “What’s the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother"  Answer:  “Eventually the dog will let go.”

When my sailing friend Kurt responded, "Usually," my equestrian friend Royce added, "For about a nano second" to which my Parrothead friend Sam expounded, "Definitely depends on how good everything else feels!"

And congrats to my cycling friend Ted, who pointed out, "Well after my 350 mile bike ride, all my other parts do hurt, therefore my conscience feels good!"

Please share your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

When do you get experience?

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably And never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

I didn't realize how many wonderful and caring people there are.  My mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor late last week.  While the primary care physician and team at Baltimore's Sinai Hospital are as compassionate as they are skilled, the care, support and words from so many friends helping my dad, my sister, my wife and me, confirms that our world has a huge, huge number of very good people in spite of what we read in the media.  Alison and I are truly blessed to have y'all in our lives.

    

www.nichelabs.com

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration.

How can you tell a good pollen from a bad pollen?

In response to last week’s question, "How can you tell a good pollen from a bad pollen?", my friend Royce wondered, "Is this a political question?" while my birthday bud Jon cautioned, "Don't know, but that question is nothing to sneeze at."

My dad's beach buddy Bob concluded, "Simple....the good pollen puts fruit and vegetables on your table, even broccoli, while the bad keeps you up sneezing all day." My writing and sailing friend Rich agreed about "fruits and vegetables. Bad pollen gives you yellow cars and runny noses."

My engineering friend Steve, and sailing friend Kurt concurred, writing, "The good pollen makes honey and new plants and flowers, the bad is all the leftovers that covers our cars and makes us cough and sneeze."

My social media friend Mark expounded, "bad pollen does its thing without any kind of permission and certainly no approval or encouragement. Good pollen waits for the recipient to be open to the idea. And maybe even a bit wet for better reception."

To this, my cousin Wes replied, "Do I sneeze with itchy eyes?" while my cycling friend Ted reported from his 500 mile bike ride, "Being outdoors all day on a bike I can tell you there is no "good" pollen!"

Please share your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Does your conscience hurt when all your other parts feel good?  (inspired by Steven Wright)

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably And never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

Last week, in response to the question "Why does toilet paper need a commercial? (Who doesn't use it?)," my college roomie John then provided this baffling thought, "Do we assume people shake with their right hand and wipe with their left?"  My social media friend Mark pointed out, "I don't care to meet your old roommate now.  Ask him if he thinks about the last thing he soaps up in the shower and the first thing he soaps up the next day."

Happy Cinco de Mayo to all of my American friends' it's a holiday that apparently most Mexican are interested in…..

   

www.nichelabs.com

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration.

Why does toilet paper need a commercial? (Who doesn't use it?)

In response to last week’s question, "Why does toilet paper need a commercial? (Who doesn't use it?)," my social media friend Mark noted, "The ads are necessary, because without them, we would never really fully understand the joy one can have by using one particular brand of wiping product over another," to which my dad's beach buddy Bob expounded, "Anyone who asks that question isn't doing the shopping.  The quality ranges from old newspaper to flushable wipes." Then my friend Royce added, "The bears have to have a job too!"

My Parrothead friend Samantha shared her experience, "It teaches people it's other uses - decorating the dog, house and women at bridal showers..."

My writing and sailing friend Rich replied, "It makes me kind of happy to think that so many people are working hard to help me with my business" to which my cycling friend Ted, responded, "You must use the 'right' TP to be a 'smart ass'! "

My college roomie John then provided this baffling thought, "Do we assume people shake with their right hand and wipe with their left?   Hmmm!" 

Please share your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

How can you tell a good pollen from a bad pollen?

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably And never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

Best wishes to my friend Ted, who's doing a week-long bike ride to celebrate his milestone birthday…..

 

www.nichelabs.com

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration.