Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?

In response to last week’s question, “Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?”, my neighbor kept Tracey’s joke running by responding, “Have you seen MY relatives?” He added, “Statues of naked people are typically beautiful idealized human forms. The reality is that real naked humans are not.”

While my sailing friend John, provides his practicing-nudist perspective at the end of this email, my friend Richard concluded that “Statues don't have to worry about melanoma” while my friend Ed added “two words, “cold” and “shrinkage”. My birthday bud Jon noted that statues can be naked “because statues do not "respond" to stimulating stimuli.”

My sailing friend Vaughn wrote, “The statues are well proportioned and nothing shifts,” to which my dad’s beach buddy Bob said we can run outside “if you're stiff enough.”

My running friend Tony had another concern about shifts when he wrote, “It is the ‘mobility factor’ (which my cousin Wes described “as bouncing”) that prevents us from running in the nude, plus where do you put your rehydration/salt material without pockets.”

“Maybe it’s a plot by the fashionistas,” wrote my friend Blair. “Show your perfect bodies in sculptures in public, then when you see reality in your own home mirror you are more tempted than ever to buy the latest “in style” offering to distract people from what you REALLY look like!” My sailing friend Kate observed, “Artistic statues are idyllic - the Venus de Milo and King David, for example. Real people come in all shapes and sizes. Seeing some people naked could be awkward or even downright disturbing. Going to the grocery store should not be a potentially traumatic event!”

My friends Royce and Vivian and neighbor Dick agreed, “Because, in the majority of cases, the statues look better than the real thing,” which my neighbor Stan described as “the cream of man/woman hood. Now consider what common folk look like running around naked.” My quality friend Marya added, “Dude, there are just some people (and that includes me, I'm not self deprecating, I'm just damn honest) that should NOT be outside naked!” My flying friend Ted added, “We should enjoy the protection of not running nudist affords our eyes.”
My friend Alan queried, “Have you seen the people who put out those statues?”

And my sailing, writing friend Rich concluded, “In the south one cannot run naked. You can, however, run nekkid.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

If 80% of people can't use “lay/lie” correctly, why don't we make those words interchangeable?” (from my friend Ivan)

Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…

Hal

From John: First of all, you’re making the assumption that you can’t run outside naked. This assumption is absolutely invalid!! In fact, the assumption you make hints that you might actually suffer from gymnophobia(*). These are people who experience anxiety about seeing others naked (or being seen naked, or both).

You CAN run outside naked. Anytime you want. People chose not to do it because their country/state/community may prosecute them for doing so. This is certainly not the case around the world, and in many specific cases within the U.S. Nudity is completely legal in Spain (said to be the most nudist-friendly country in the world. See http://www.nudistday.com/index.php/article/public-nudity-is-completely-legal-in-spain.html In some states, such as Oregon, public nudity is legal and protected as free speech, as long as there is not the “intent to arouse”. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Public_nudity

There are many naturist resorts (such as Bell Acres, just north of Atlanta) where running outside naked is clearly encouraged. And of course, there are events where nudity is extremely common and not prosecuted, such as the Burning Man festival.

Just some things to think about ….

(*)Note: While Microsoft doesn’t know of this word, http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gymnophobia confirmed Wikipedia’s entry and should not be confused with gynophobia, which is a fear of certain bodies.

If unique is one of a kind, how can you be very unique?

In response to last week’s question, “If unique is one of a kind, how can you be very unique?”, my birthday bud Jon and sailing videographer Ivan responded, “The same way you can be a little pregnant.” Ivan added, “I thought unique was binary? Like being pregnant. If I flip a coin, can it be very heads?”

My friend Tracey quipped, “Have you ever met any of my relatives?”

My sailing and writing buddy Rich agreed with Blair for a different reason. “While grammatically incorrect there are times where only a description of very unique will do. Dancing on a table at the Christmas party may make you unique, doing it naked makes you very unique .”

My friend Marlene, who well knows her English, suggested, “you do not have to be totally unique--just unique in special ways.” My musically inclined friend Blair, waxed poetically, “’Very’ gives a little extra distinction or oomph to the "unique" label. For example...every snowflake is unique, BUT some snowflakes are big, plump, juicy mini-snowballs or large, wispy, feathery works of art - so I'd call them VERY unique.”

My friend Richard concluded, “Be none of a kind?” to which my dad’s beach buddy Bob added, “You must be a ZERO, a nothing, un nada, a........, but there are so many of them they just cannot be Unique!”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

Do we need a little more chlorine added to the gene pool ?

Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…

Hal

Ivan’s Rant: Don't get me started. This is one of my pet peeves of handling the English language. “Unique” used to be a powerful word.

If English is a living language, and therefore I am supposed to accept that things change, I suggest that as a living being, the language just got sick. To put it in a way even the IM's of the world (ignorant masses) can understand, the language took a major hit point to its manna, or health. It needs a little nurturing to get it back to life!

If the literary giants were to change something to make the language grow, I am all for it. If the dumb masses change it so they can use a big word or sound intelligent then I am not for it. Seems most words are changing out of ignorance. What a shame. Did you know that infer now means imply? Look it up, third definition of infer is to imply. Dammit all if the Dumbmasses haven't taken a perfectly good word and made it it's opposite!

What exactly can you get at a general store?

In response to last week’s question, “What exactly can you get at a general store?”, my dad’s beach buddy Bob understands that you’d get “A general of course. You have to go elsewhere to find Lieutenants, and privates are in bathrooms.”

My witty friend Richard added, “You can get a commanding officer from the Army, Marines, or Air Force, of course. Used to be you could also get an Admiral television, but that is no longer true, since Admiral went out of business in 1979. And General Motors vehicles are looking iffy. However, General Electric and General Tires are still in play --- generally speaking.

My neighbor Al observed that “You can get lots of stuff .... just nothing specific.” Yet my birthday bud Jon believes you can get “major appliances” while my friend Kevin believes you can get “tin soldiers.”

My sailing and electric train friend Mike knows that you can get “Anyone above the rank of colonel, of course!”, to which my friend Royce suggested, “a Patton, Eisenhower, Peatreus.” My sailing and writing buddy Rich added some details to these options. “The U.S. Grant model is a great drinking buddy. If you need a fire started, then I would recommend a Sherman. The MacArthur model has a special return policy so make sure you read the fine print. If your tastes run more to the nautical then visit the Army / Navy store and pick up a used Ensign dirt cheap, very handy to have around to heap abuse on, but not much good for anything else.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

If unique is one of a kind, how can you be very unique?

Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…

In response to last week’s question, “At what age is a baby no longer a baby?”, my wise friend Richard concluded, “I think it's when they start paying for rent and food. It's sort of like the old debate about when life begins.” Richard continued, “Some believe it begins at the moment of conception, others believe it's when the fetus is viable outside the womb. Life actually begins when the last kid leaves for college and the dog dies.”

My soon-to-be-biking friend Ed understands that “the Jewish view is when they graduate from Med school; however, my personal view is when they support themselves.” My cousin Wes had a similar thought, “A baby is no longer a baby when (s)he moves out and before (s)he returns home to live with Mom and Dad. Of course, Mom and Dad always think their baby is a baby which is why they let them move back home.”

My neighbor Al was told, “If it's a man .... my wife would say the age on his tombstone.”

My neighbor Dick happily replied, “Age is not a factor, some people (like me) refuse to "grow up"!” to which my dad’s beach buddy Bob agreed, “when it matures.” My flying friend Ted, however, thinks he him, “it will be 50! Phew, I've got a few years left!”

My birthday bud Jon, who is a father of 2, wrote, “When he or she says ’stop calling me a baby.’”
My friend Alan responded, “Your baby is always your baby…at least that's what my mom says!” My college roomie John concurred, “As long as Mom is around, you will always be her baby!” and considering that John is one of 13, that makes his mom an authority. And officially from a mom, my friend Tracey wrote, “To a mother, it’s when she dies. My boys will always be my babies; even the 6' tall 14 year old! I'm still my mother's baby.”

My temple friend Vivian, who is a mother and grandmother, summarized it all with, “I will always treat and respect my grown children as adults, but in my heart they will forever be my babies. The love, care, and concern never changes no matter what age they attain.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

What exactly can you get at a general store?

Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…