What’s the opposite of “tax”

In response to last week’s imponderable question, “What’s the opposite of “tax”?, my temple friend Richard explained, "The opposite of “tax” is when Congress is in recess.  This, of course, brings to mind the old question:  If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con,' what is the opposite of “progress”?"

My business development friend Ray observed, "More disposable income," to which my dad's beach buddy Bob provided an example when he wrote, "A new car."

My sailing friend Mike concluded, "The opposite of tax is of course spend," while my social media friend Mark lamented, "I think it is nothing.”

My sailing friend Norm shared his financial advisor experience, "Tax Free is the opposite of Tax. It is amazing how much "tax" ordinary folks actually pay these days. When you add up income tax, social security and medicare payroll tax, capital gains tax, ad valorem taxes, sales taxes, the average middle income person is paying close to 50% or more of their cash flow in taxes of one sort or another. Our politicians always want more and always claim they need more.  Then when you retire, most pay tax on some or most of their social security that has already been taxed !!  Funny thing about taxing, though, whenever the government takes too much, the economy stalls and government revenue falls at higher tax rates."

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

     How do you know if a word is misspelled in the dictionary or dictionary.com?
        from my friend Bob J

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

It's matzah and chocolate weekend.  OK, being more spiritual, wishing you a Happy Passover and Happy Easter.  May your holiday provide you with insight, wisdom, calmness.....and not too many calories.

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.

     

Is breathing optional?

In response to last week’s imponderable question, “Is breathing optional?," my disc golf friend Blake replied, "Depends on how long you wish to live."

My social media friend Mark pointed out, "Yes, but not breathing is not."

My equestrian friend Royce advised, "It would depend upon where you are and the circumstances," to which my biz dev friend Ray stated succinctly, "Depends upon your end game.

My production management friend Ray Hughes surmised, "Yes, as long as you think you will look good in that shade of blue!"

My dad's beach buddy Bob observed, "Not when you are under water and not wearing a scuba outfit," to which my sailing friend Norm concurred, "Normally, yes, if you want to live.  But not when you are snorkeling and want to dive down below the surface of the water to see a fish or a lobster."  

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

     What’s the opposite of “tax”?

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

It's matzah and chocolate weekend.  OK, being more spiritual, wishing you a Happy Passover and Happy Easter.  May your holiday provide you with insight, wisdom, calmness.....and not too many calories.

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.

Is a foot-long shoe always the right size?

In response to last week’s imponderable question, “Is a foot-long shoe always the right size?," my birthday bud Jon observed, "Not at Subway."

My dad's beach buddy Bob pointed out, "Not if you wear a size 13" while my social media friend Mark replied, "Yes, it’s not always the right foot though," 

My equestrian friend Royce called out that ,"According to the Euclidean theory of mathematics, naaaaa"

And my cycling friend Ted responded, "I never really gave it much thought that 12 inches could be a variable distance! The real issue here is that we use an average male foot to define 12 inches of distance, so that the fundamental conclusion is that the world is just intensely Sexist!! Good luck to all the power girls out there trying to make it in a world measured by Men!!  How's that for a rambling Rant!"

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

     Is breathing optional?  from my friend Paul T

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

I was listening to a TED Talk about altruism and appreciation. While the majority of people are very good at either, I'd like to think that this blog's readership are "all above average."  Continuing this line of thinking, if you find that these weekly email or blog post provide a little happiness or joy, I'm asking that you find one person to share it with -- and if they are OK with it, I'll add them to the email list.  To spread the joy, simply reply with their name and email address.

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.

     

t's Spring. What needs cleaning (or uncluttering)?

In response to last week’s imponderable question, “It's Spring. What needs cleaning (or uncluttering)?,"  my writing and sailing friend Rich called out, "The space between  ears.  It turns out the less I know, the happier I am.  My wife told me this was true, I did not believe her for many years, but once I let go and let her tell me what I needed to know, my life go better."

My equestrian friend Royce noted, "the gutters" while my sailing friend Norm admitted, "My teeth! 😁😁"

My social media friend Mark cautioned, "It’s a little early, but the White House could use some serious 'taking out the trash'."

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

     Who do you know who is motivated by “a carrot”?
Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile!
 
Hal
 
Happy Birthday to my birthday bud Adam, Jon, Jim and Aman:  Congrats on another trip around the sum!  May Hump Day this week for a fun day.
Also: My temple friend Bill responded to when during the week should we change from Standard to Daylight Saving Time, "Friday afternoon at 4:00 p.m.. We could all use the extra  Time at happy hour." while my doctor friend Dwana shared, "In residency at the Medical University of South Carolina, when my “ on call duties” were lengthened by one hour by daylight saving’s time, I came to know that 24 plus 1 was not 25.  Residents did not leave when their 24 hour shift was over. We were expected to work until we had assessed and appropriately cared for patients admitted through the ER  and did not leave for home until they were signed over to the next shift in stable condition. The VA patient admitted to me in the “ extra hour” of daylight savings time with a GI bleed and hepatic encephalopathy from his alcoholic liver disease took 9 hours to completely work up and stabilize. In the new math of daylight savings time: 1+ 24 = 32 !

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.

     

Is there a better time of the week to Spring forward than Sunday at 2:00am?

In response to last week’s imponderable question, “Is there a better time of the week to Spring forward than Sunday at 2:00am?,” my social media friend Mark announced, “Friday at 4:00…that last hour of the work-week is so long,” to which my production management friend Ray explained, “That would make it five o clock and you would get paid for 8 hours only working seven and get to go home an hour early.”

My sister-in-law Lorrie proposed, “Mondays so that you have one less hour to get through on a Monday morning! In all honesty,  in retirement it hardly matters.  If I was still working the earlier would apply.”

My engineering friend Steve advised, “Yes, 20 minutes into the future.”  But my business development friend Ray called-out, “Keeping it at 2am does allow the workers in bars to shut down an hour earlier.”

My temple friend Kevin explained, “Yes, when we fall back to real time.  Daylight Savings Time is a lie and completely useless.  Studies have shown that there really is no longer any need for it and it should be done away with.  In fact, human productivity is worse during the weeks after these changes than during periods where ‘time’ is static,” to which my cycling friend Ted declared, “I think we should stay ‘Sprung” all year round!”  And my dad’s beach buddy Bob added his support, “There is never a good time to spring forward.  Takes time for we old timers to adjust to standard time without having to spring up on our feet with vertigo.”

My sailing friend Norm replied, “Yes, a better time would be Saturday night. 😀 “

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

How do you know if you’re Irish?

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

To the prior week’s question, “What do people who write "u" instead of "you" do with all the time they save?,” my HIPnation friend Dwana pointed out, “in my neck of the woods, we say ‘all y’all’”. 

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.

Why do we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?

In response to last week’s imponderable question, “Why do we choose from just  two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?,” my dad’s beach buddy Bob observed “There is much more to look at that doesn't challenge your intelligence.”   My engineering friend Steve called out, “Because Miss America isn’t as corrupt and doesn’t have someone to “collude” with as the Dems and Reps do with each other,” to which my birthday bud Jon simplified it, ”Which would you rather look at fifty of?”

My social media friend Mark lamented, “That is all the qualified people they can find. Although they were wrong to think there were two qualified candidates for president last time.”

When my equestrian friend Royce responded, “Ya know I've been asking myself that same question for way too many years,” my cycling friend Ted answered, “Because Miss America has so many more better candidates!”

My workforce training friend Jonathan pointed out, “Uhm...have you seen the field if Democrats lately; looks like there may be one candidate for every state by the end of the summer,” to which my temple friends Kevin and Bill agreed, “The way the Dems are joining the race, we may well get to 50 before it's over.”

And my biz development friend Ray noted, “Have you ever compared the presidents to the Miss America contestants? Hands down, it’s who wins that "beauty" contest!”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

What do people who write "u" instead of "you" do with all the time they save?  (from my interfaith friend Ann)

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.

Is chocolate the answer?

In response to last week’s imponderable question, “Is chocolate the answer?,”  my cousin Valarie declared, “Yes! Yes! Yes! What was the question? :-) “

My temple friend Richard called out, “If chocolate isn’t the answer, then it is quite clear you are asking the wrong question,” to which my social media friend Mark agreed, “Yes, no matter the question,”

While my cycling friend Ted purported, “It is the answer to many a question!,” my biz development friend Ray countered, “The simple answer is YES.”

My temple friend Viv explained, “Chocolate is the answer to everything--even your health.  It has been proven that dark chocolate is healthy.  Therefore, I have to take care of myself and have some chocolate everyday.  Yummy!”  Then my college roomie John added, “Yes, it used to be milk chocolate, but now it's dark chocolate!”

My sailing friend Norm replied, “Yes and no.  Let's see, chocolate originally was native to Central and South America and now mostly is grown in Africa.  Coffee was native to Africa and the Middle East and now is mostly grown in Central America.  And nothing tastes better than a combination of coffee and chocolate.  So whether it is the answer to something, who knows. But when either or both are mixed with milk and sugar, they are irresistible.”   

With my equestrian friend Royce retorting, "In what fashion and/or form?”, my dad’s beach buddy Bob announced, “Ahh yes, consumed daily at my age beats sex.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

Why do we choose from just  two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

With today being Presidents’ Day, many people forget Lincoln’s Birthday was Tue, 2/12 and Washington’s Birthday is 2/22, so Presidents’ Day combined these 2 former holidays. Also in February, few know that Ronald Reagan was born on Feb 6* and fewer know that on Feb 9, our 9^th president was born, William Harrison.  October has the most presidential births with 6.

Then again, should we celebrate 45 presidents instead of 2?

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.

In response to last week’s imponderable question, “What’s the purpose of a beard? (in honor of Abe Lincoln’s birthday on Feb 12),”  my birthday bud Jon called-out, “It’s a distraction while my equestrian friend Royce shared the practical aspects, “It keeps your face warm in winter and the gnats away in summer.”

My IT support friend Kim declared, “A beard is like a bib.  It’s so you can catch all your food and save it for later,” to which my cousin Greg added, “It’s a good old-fashioned flavor saver.”

My temple friend Kevin noted, “To avoid shaving as much as possible,” while my sailing friend Norm countered, “It tickles the thi....s !”

My writing and sailing friend Rich explained, “To cover up for the fact that your genome does include number 157 (Kirk Douglas Chin) – Of course the one who passed on that genome to me, dear old dad used to say about my beard, “I don’t know why you are cultivating something on your face that I’ve got growing wild on my back side.”  

My friend in Utah Bruce  expounded, “The purpose of a beard is an outward social visual clue that you are not a hypocrite...follow me on this...As a man matures the  physical normal response to testosterone is the growth of facial hair. Now mixing this with the Peter Pan Principle that all men wish to remain boys, the subject (in an effort to appear young) removes the facial hair - thus becoming a hypocrite.” 

And my PR friend Stan suggested, “The beard could be considered the world’s first tracking device for men. The razor became a stealth device.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

Is chocolate the answer? May Valentine’s day be a to appreciate those who love you.

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

And for Thu, love the one your with:  Aretha, and by  CNSY.

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.

Would you rather be right or happy?

In response to last week’s imponderable question, “Would you rather be right or happy?,” my temple friend Richard concluded, “I am usually quite happy when it turns out I am right.  I am also usually quite surprised.”

My collaboration friend Paul gasped, “Jeez, Hal.  The easiest question ever (for those who have seen Wonder).   When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.   Making that choice is much more likely to make you happy.”

My writing and sailing friend Rich cautioned, “I would rather be happy than say to my wife, ‘I hate being right as much as you hate me being right and I realize that no good will come from this.’”

My cycling friend Ted advised, “Oh just ask any married man--much better to be happy!” to which my college roomie John concurred, “I understand in order for a husband to stay married, it is better to be happy than right.  There are always exceptions to the rule!” And my cousin Wes added, “If you are a married man and want to be happy, then you are wrong and she is right.”  

My dad’s beach buddy Bob dreamed, “I would be happy to be right for once in my life when arguing with my wife.”

My optimist equestrian friend Royce declared, “...but I am always right and happy so I guess I am exempt” while my social media friend Mark lamented, “Apparently I’d rather be wrong and unhappy.”

My production management friend Ray shared, “Both right and happy are situational. I'd much rather be joyous. And I know I'm right in saying that which makes me very happy. Namaste.”

And my sister-in-law Lorrie called out, “I believe it would be a bit southern to say:  I'm gonna be right happy.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

What’s the purpose of a beard? in honor of Abe Lincoln’s birthday on Feb 12

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

Heard by one of my sailing friends, “I’m not watching the Super Bowl this weekend.  I don’t really like baseball.”

As to Phillip' s comment about “What is public service?” the week before last, my cousin Wes asked, “does not Nancy Pelosi  have responsibility too?”

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.

What is public service?

In response to last week’s imponderable question, “What is public service?,” my equestrian friend Royce wrote, “it is usually service paid for by the public that benefits others,” to which my temple friend Tracey observed, “Public service is what all of the government employees that are not receiving paychecks right now yet continue to go to work every day  are doing.”  My attorney friend Philip expounded, “Public service is when a government employee shows up for work without pay despite a megalomaniac's temper tantrum over not getting his way with a stupid **** wall.”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob lamented a more general observation, “Certainly not in political office where they help themselves.”

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

Would you rather be right or happy?

Lord, give me a sense of humor; give me the ability to understand a clean joke; to get some humor out of life, and to pass it on to other folks. 

Hal

Do you know someone who has the same sense of humor you and I do?  I’m happy to include them on my weekly distribution if you’ll either send me their name/email address, or any other introduction.  Remember, humor helps most things.

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.

Where’s Elvis?

In response to last week’s imponderable question, “Where’s Elvis?,” my temple friend Richard declared, “Elvis is the night manager at the Heartbreak Hotel. Apparently, he does a lounge show there too.  The lounge serves a very nice steak called Love Me Tender,”  to which my engineering friend Steve pointed out, “He’s in Vegas of course; I see him multiple times and places when I’m out there for work. He’s either cloned himself or he’s a really fast runner!”   My sailing friend Norm “saw Elvis on my cruise ship this past week while we were cruising on the The Royal Princess in the western Caribbean.  Really did see him (or perhaps an impostor?) .”

My college roomie John provided proof that “Elvis is everywhere; check out the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7NWXJ8iPQw,” to which my writing and sailing friend Rich provided the lyrics,  https://youtu.be/VSZkf1hdupA.

My interfaith friend Ann replied, “He’s all over my cousin's house!  And my cousin wasn't born until 1986.  Maybe he IS Elvis.  He even went to college in Memphis so that he could work at Graceland (he's from Colorado).”

My equestrian friend Royce declared that “Elvis is in Memphis, TN a few mile south of Beale Street.”  And my business development friend Ray called out, “He’s somewhere between a jelly donut and a big ol ham sandwich, and still all shook up of course!  Long live The King! BTW, I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when the news broke that Elvis died.”

My temple friend Lesley and sailing friends Kurt & Connie noted, “I believe Elvis has left the building,” to which my cousin Greg opined, “Elvis is on the island with Biggie and Tupac.”

And my social media friend Mark provided the summary, “He’s alive in all our hearts.”

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

What is public service? (in honor of MLK Day next Monday, Jan 21)

Lord, give me a sense of humor; give me the ability to understand a clean joke; to get some humor out of life, and to pass it on to other folks. 

Hal

 The day recalling the memory of Martin Luther King and his wonderful view of diversity has been expanded to include awareness of doing public service.  What a great way to spend some time, either on the 21st, or some other day this month.

Responses to this week’s imponderable question will be on Mon, Jan 28 so that Alison and I can escape reality and spend the week of Jan 20 in the Caribbean.  Catch ya when we return.

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.

Where do you go for advice for a New Year's resolution?

In response to last week’s imponderable question, “Where do you go for advice for a New Year's resolution?,” my temple friend Richard pondered, “One definition of “resolution” (per the Merriam-Webster On-line Dictionary is “the subsidence of a pathological state (such as inflammation).” Ergo, it would seem that one should see a qualified mental health professional to cure  resolutions.  In short, you do not have to be insane to make resolutions, but it apparently helps!”

With that in mind, my social media friend Mark replied, “Never thought of asking anyone else what I ought to do to improve. I’m sure the list would be way too long,” to which my sailing friend Norm explained, “my spouse has my resolutions all set out for me.”  And my PR friend Stan shared a longer list of sources, “My wife...my kids and grandkids...my doctor...my financial advisor...  I don’t have to go to them. I just compile their suggestions over the year.” 

My Utahan friend Bruce surmised, “You don’t have to go anywhere , as they automatically come to you via your mother-in-law... by the way: it’s true name is not New Year’s Resolutions. The correct term is ‘yearly promises I make to myself that I have no contractual or legal obligation to fulfill.’”

My birthday bud Jon “Turns to the answers to the previous 51 weekly ‘things make you go ‘Hmmm.’ I’m sure that is worthwhile advice in there somewhere” while my dad’s beach buddy Bob gets advice from “last year’s resolutions.”

My business development friend Ray noted, “Like the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus, I do not believe in New Year's resolutions. In perpetual motion, I resolve to do the right things throughout the year and if I don't, I resolve to rectify those missteps. Happy New Year!”

And with all of this insight, my adjunct executive fiend Lindy shared, “This year I am making resolutions I can keep: to gain weight, be impatient, and argue over things that don’t matter.”

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

Where’s Elvis? (in memory of Elvis Presley’s birthday on Jan 8*)

Lord, give me a sense of humor; give me the ability to understand a clean joke; to get some humor out of life, and to pass it on to other folks. 

Hal

My friend Dov makes “educational video games” to aid in employee (and first responder) training.  He took out time to play and share Sneezins Greetings.   Enjoy.

*Elvis Presley was born 1/8/1935 and Tuesday would have been his 84th birthday but he died in 1977 at the age of 42.  Next year we’ll ask who is the new Elvis (if there is one)?

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.

How do you make a decision when you are in the dark?

In response to last week’s imponderable question, “How do you make a decision when you are in the dark?,” my birthday bud Jon advised, “Not lightly,”  to which my dad’s beach buddy Bob recalled, “You usually close your eyes when you are in deep thought.”

My adjunct executive friend Lindy shared, “The same way you do in the light: gather the facts, ponder them, possibly seek counsel, then follow your gut.”

My business development friend Ray proffered, “Lick my finger, stick it into the wind to see which direction it is blowing at the moment!” to which my cycling friend Ted lamented, “they do that in Washington all day long!”  So my sailing friend Norm recommended literally and figuratively, “Turn on the light!”

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

Where do you turn to for advice for a New Year's resolution?

Lord, give me a sense of humor; give me the ability to understand a clean joke; to get some humor out of life, and to pass it on to other folks. 

Hal

I am so blessed (if you’re in the South) / fortunate (if you’ve somewhere else) to have such supportive and caring friends.  You respond to these weekly questions, ask me to share these emails with your friends, or simply say ‘thank you’ periodically.  Being part of such a community makes every day a joy – even Mondays!  Looking forward to staying in touch with you this year.  And wishing you a year of health, prosperity and joy.

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.