How do you know that there isn’t (or wasn’t) a real Santa Claus somewhere?

In response to last week's question, “How do you know that there isn’t (or wasn’t) a real Santa Claus somewhere ?”, my practical friend Richard responded, “How else does one explain all of the subordinate clauses?”

My birthday bud Jon suggested, “Big mouth--now you've ruined things for the goyim!” Yet my neighbor Dick wrote, “if you would have raised this question with my kids years ago, you could have saved me a ton of money!!”

One email simply said, “You just emailed him..................HO! HO! HO!” Then I noticed it was signed by my creative friend Fred.

My comedic friend Bruce noted, ”Who’s to say he isn’t real when you weigh him in quantum mechanics. He’s real in a parallel universe.”

My sailing friend and father of 3 redirects the conversion, “You don’t question Santa! Just enjoy the holidays!” My dog loving friend and former colleague Larry and neighbor Bob wrote, “What are you talking about? Of course there is a real Santa Claus. ” My friend Tracey agreed, “Big fat DUH! The Easter Bunny….not so much.”

My social media friend (who recently became a dog owner) Jodie replied, “Oh no, not another person trying to tell me he isn’t real! Santa is goodness—he is real!” “He exists in a city called "Hope" in the state of "Great Expectations" and therein lies "Fulfillment,” wrote my dad’s beach buddy Bob.

To confirm his existence, my friend Kevin wrote, “There was a Santa Claus. All legends are based on real people. It's just that we, as humans, love to embellish a really good story.” My colleague Chris expounded, “The American version of the Santa Claus figure received its inspiration and its name from the Dutch legend of Sinter Klaas, brought by settlers to New York in the 17th century. As early as 1773 the name appeared in the American press as "St. A Claus." ”

And to ultimately confirm Santa’s existence, my typically humorous, just-on-the-edge of crude, college roomie John shared this compassionate, emotional response, “There is an editorial, "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus". Santa rests in the hearts of mankind.” http://www.newseum.org/yesvirginia

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

Why does Father Time look so old when he was “Baby New Year” just 12 months ago?

Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…

Hal

Wishing y’all a happy, healthy, wealthy New Year. May we take care of our family, friends, country and earth – and not wait for others.
<> Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Margaret Mead
<> Use everything that happens to you. Sunny Schlenger

What does a clear conscience indicate?

In response to last week's question, “What does a clear conscience indicate?”, my sailing friend Mike and quality mgmt friend Marya both agreed, “You aren't having as much fun as you should be.” Similarly, my friend Kevin observed “It’s a complete lack of a life.”

My advo-gaming friend Dov, cousin Jeff and neighbor Dick agreed it indicates “a lousy memory.” My neighbor Al said it indicates “death” while my dad’s beach buddy Bob decided it indicates “that you have just been born!”

“At best, it indicates minor brain damage, but if prolonged, I'm sure a vegetative state,” wrote by observant friend Gian. “When the clear conscience is coupled with stupidity and arrogance, one can rule out vegetative state; the individual should be diagnosed as a butthole and sent on their way.”

My witty S African transplant friend Laurence realized “it could be either poor memory or heavy drinking.” My birthday bud Jon claims “blackouts lead to a clear conscience.” In agreeing, my sailing friend Kurt added, “alcohol erases selective past deeds.” Fear not, my work colleague Chris noted that “like Pepsi Clear, it’s just a fad and will eventually, ever so slowly, slip away into history as forgotten…

My wise friend Richard concluded it is a sign of “write-only memory” while my wife’s former roommate Ruth says it indicates “nothing because it’s clear.”

My film production and sailing friend Ivan compiled a great list of 11 more ideas (see below). My usually happy friend Tracey concluded that it proves “ignorance is bliss.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

How do you know that there isn’t (or wasn’t) a real
Santa Claus somewhere ?

Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…

Hal

My friend’s Ivan list of reasons for a clear conscience:
11) Forgetfulness (honestly, I can't recall having EVER done anything wrong!)
10) Liar!
9) You are not Catholic, masters of guilt.
8) You are not Jewish, Supreme masters of guilt!
7) You are a cat
6) You are on your third round, or was that a fifth?
5) You are Buddah, Krishna, Jesus, or Santa Claus
4) You are enjoying your limited stay in that womb
3) R.I.P.
2) "Honestly officer, I was just helping that sheep over the fence."
1) You are asking the wrong guy, I wouldn't know anything about a clear conscience

For those people that give 110%, where does the 10% come from?

In response to last week's question, “For those people that give 110%, where does the 10% come from?”, my birthday bud Jon wrote, “From people like me” while my dad’s beach buddy Bob wrote, “Their neighbors’ pocket.”

Similarly, my friend Richard, while in Haifa, wrote, “It comes from an ex(er)cise tax on the unwilling, who are always glad to pay someone else to do the "heavy lifting" for them!” My neighbor Al was a bit more direct, writing “My ____ taxes! Along with the other 100%.”

My dog rescue friend Kate noted that the “extra 10% wasn’t coming from me; I’m not losing any weight!”

My comedic cable TV friend Bruce determined that “If a person drinks five glasses of 2% milk in a given day, they have another 10%. So make sure you drink your milk!”

“The other 10% is when they take credit for someone else's work,” my college roomie John realized (or practices). “A good campaign can turn something into much more.” My sailing sailing buddy Rich added a related note, “The 10 pct. comes from the boss.”

Oh thank you! I know it’s only a euphemism, but we have only 100% to give. It’s the same with ‘exceeding expectations.’ It evolves to “Poor guy, he didn’t make the team because he only gave 100%”.”

In the holiday spirit, my running friend Tony observed, “It comes from deep inside and what our loved ones have given us.” My friend Marya inspiringly wrote, “as an educator of leadership who has a lot of faith, I believe that 10% comes from the heart and soul! “

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

What does a clear conscience indicate?

Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…

If you ‘shop til you drop,’ how do you and your stuff get home?

In response to last week's question, “If you ‘shop til you drop,’ how do you and your stuff get home? ”, my advanced experienced shopping colleague Sandra and friend Tracey responded, “Duh! Elves!” My neighbor Al’s answered, “Haven’t you ever heard of shop lifters?” (Witty, huh?)

My good humored friend from my Silicon Valley days Larry wrote, “My wife answered this, “That is what Husbands are for.” My colleague Kyle added, “after a long day of sitting in the obligatory “guy chair” in a number of clothing stores, I will invariably ensure they get home safely.”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob thought it would be “in an ambulance,” while my running buddy’s husband Ted thought worse, “a hearse.” To this, my brother-in-law Jay wisely advises, “we now engage the services of a personal shopper. They're professionals, trained for this.”

My cousin Valarie wrote, “I shop until I drop ---- a purchase. Then I know it’s time to go home.”

My neighbor Bob and college roomie John have explained how they avoided all of this, when they explained, “Since I shop on line I am already there.” My sailing friend Jodie added, “UPS then takes care of the rest.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

For those people that give 110%, where does the 10% come from?

Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…

Last Thanksgiving, many people said, “Uuugh, I ate too much.” Why will we gleefully do it again this year?

In response to last week's question, “Last Thanksgiving, many people said, “Uuugh, I ate too much.” Why will we gleefully do it again this year?”, my birthday bud Jon wrote, “You say that like it's a bad thing!”

While I have much respect for my sailing friend Kurt’s sailing knowledge, he apparently showed his limits when he wrote, “You want me to remember a lesson I learned a year ago?” Similarly, my friend Kevin lamented, “Our memory is not as big as our appetites and our desire for great tasting foods knows no bounds.”

Several friends made no excuse including Bob, Jodie, Tracey and cousin Wes, who believe, “Because it all tastes sooooo good... and there's so much to sample.... and it all tastes so good! “ To this, my Orioles-loving friend Sandy said, “So then we can again say "Uuugh, I ate too much", just like we have every year.” My running friend Tony added, “As a non-secular holiday, one can’t be guilty of gluttony.”

“The question remains are they bragging or complaining?” wrote my temple friend Bill. “Only in America do we brag we have too much to eat.”

My neighbor Bob shared this advice, “Those who refuse to learn from the lessons of the past are doomed to repeat them. Kind of a theme for our society and economy, eh?”

Alas, my writer friend Kathleen responded, “Because of the universal law of "no fat, no calories." Everyone knows that on Thanksgiving and your birthday you can eat all you want and not gain weight.*” *Effects are based on following a strict diet for one week before and after the holiday and waiting seven days before weighing. Results may vary.

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

If you ‘shop til you drop,’ how do you and your stuff get home?

Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…