Monday, June 24

How do you fix stupid?



In response to last week’s question, "How do you fix stupid?," my neighbor Al recalled, "My Dad used his belt.  My Mom used the cord off one of her electrical appliances. (Am I showing my age that I know about electric appliances when you could unplug the cord to clean it?)."   Similarly, my writing and sailing friend Rich shared, "My wife keeps trying to fix it with a sharp blow to the back of my head."

Yet my golden retriever rescue friend Kate declared, "Don't even try if you want to keep someone as a friend.  Just accept it, enjoy their company, and don't ever take their advice.  (Actually, their advice might work.)"  To this, my social media friend Mark recommended, "At least teach the stupid some manners...which would not fix the stupid, but they would be more pleasant to be around. "

My friend Swany suggested the solution that fixes pretty much everything, "Duct tape and WD40" while my dad's beach buddy Bob suggested, "You send them into a voting booth."   My friend Kelly advised, "Throwing a brick through the TV is a good place to start!"

My cousin Wes observed, "Duh, you have to ask?  Like can you change people?    See G-d." 

To this, my friend Doug, who recently relocated to wild, weird Austin counseled, "You can't fix stupid…..and only stupid people would try.  "Stupid is what stupid does".

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

What does Summer feel like?

We don't stop laughing because we get old. We get old because we stop laughing.  Make it a priority to have fun and make others laugh.

Hal

[Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration.]

Monday, June 17

Why does the light bulb go off when you get an idea?



In response to last week’s question, "Why does the light bulb go off when you get an idea?", my writing and sailing friend Rich explained, "Because once you've seen the light, you no longer need the light."  Rich then added, "Ok, what I really think is, and I am dating myself here.  The light they say is going "off" is like the old flash bulb "going off", more of a bright explosion kinda of thing to mark your eureka moment."

My dad's beach buddy Bob replied, "Only if it clicks!" while my cousin Greg Faber wrote, "because we are very "bright" people."

My cousin Wes challenged the question, writing, "I thought it went on, indicating enlightenment."  And my friend Royce blankly replied, "         ."

My neighbor Al was truly intrigued as he responded, "Wow!  Sorry, I'm stuck on the syntax of the question.  If the light bulb goes "off" that means it had to be "on" prior to the idea.  That means that when we don't have an idea the light is already on.  This seems to counter the normal paradigm that when you get an idea an illuminated light bulb  appears above your head.

Or are you referring to the bulb like a flash bulb.  We'd say that the flash went off.  It actually cycled on and then rapidly back to off.  So when we take a photo we should really say something like "Did my flash cycle?" rather than "Did my flash go off?" By simply looking at the flash lamp, you can tell that it went off because it's not on anymore. That is really be a stupid redundant question.  [See the rest of Al's quest for an answer at the bottom on the email.]

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

How do you fix stupid? from my friend Dawn

We don't stop laughing because we get old. We get old because we stop laughing.  Make it a priority to have fun and make others laugh.

Hal

The continuation of Al's response:     Someone could be referring to head as a bulb. Naturally not a short, modified, underground stem surrounded by usually fleshy modified leaves that contain stored food for the shoot within type bulb, but the  rounded projection or part. Probably more towards the anatomical definition as a rounded dilation or expansion of a canal, vessel, or organ.  And we know that the bulb in question holds our cranial matter or brain.  The brain is tissue created of nerve cells.  And nerve cells have a bulb-like cell body attached to a long nerve fiber, which is like a wire, and it actually carries very tiny electrical signals. These bulbs are separated by the synapse or the synaptic cleft.  To the simple minded, the neurotransmitter is perceived a spark across the synapse. And on an atomic level, the spark is a light and therefore a light across the bulbs which are held within the bulb. How silly.  We all know that the neurotransmitters are actually the release of molecules from the axon into the synapse. The neurotransmitters then diffuse across the synapse and bind to receptors, that are located within the cell membranes of the dendrites of the adjacent nerve cell. This, in turn, stimulates or inhibits an electrical response in the receiving neuron's dendrites. Thus, the neurotransmitters act as chemical messengers, carrying information from one neuron to another. Obviously not a "spark" or "flash".
So I have no idea of what you're referring to. ...where'd that light just come from?


[Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration.]
 

Monday, June 10

What does a June bug do in July?



In response to last week’s question, "What does a June bug do in July?," one of my very first IT friends and advisors, Bradley, knew that "they retire & move into the July and over retirement community !"  My dad's beach buddy Bob shared a similar thought, "they take a lot of aspirin."

My friend Kosol explained, "They scarab!"

My ethics friend Blair, declared, "Vacation" to which my friend Royce added, "to the Catskills" while my friend Richard explained, "usually a nice cruise.  Alaska, maybe." 

My writing and sailing friend Rich lamented,  "He goes to Disney World as a gooey mess on a tourists windshield," which my friend Jodie, the proud owner of a new filly, added, "gets washed off the windshield, and hood, and front grill, and bumper..."    Whether voluntary or not, my cycling, flying friend Ted concurred, "He dies!! What else could he do?"

My social business colleague Andy can to a slightly different conclusion, "You get stepped on well before July when you look like this in June: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phyllophaga_(genus)"

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Why does the light bulb go off when you get an idea?  from my friend Marc

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Hal

Congratulations to my parents, who are celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary today.  What great role models.

[Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration.]

Monday, June 3

Do you really wait until Memorial Day to wear white again?



In response to last week’s question, "Do you really wait until Memorial Day to wear white again?",  my business community management friend Rashida declared, "I DID NOT wait until Memorial Day to wear white, but each time I wore white, I thought for 10 seconds about how I was "breaking the rule." Can't wait until there is no rule to break here."  My friend Royce offered his support, saying, "But I did that already!"

My friend Richard queried, " Does underwear count?" to which my dad's beach buddy Bob replied, "I wear white jockey shorts year round.  Remind me again in the morning."  And my writing and sailing friend Rich added, "Moot point. I haven't worn white since Fruit of the Loom introduced colors, blue Monday, green Tuesday, hot pink Wednesday, etc."

My social collaboration friend Mark opined, "When people started wearing plaid shirts and striped ties, showing their underwear, and bra-straps showing under a tank top, I gave up caring about right and wrong fashion. It's anything goes from here on, baby.  PS: I am only a couple of years from black socks and Bermuda shorts, so maybe I am not the best one to ask."

And then my Dish friend John put this all in perspective by explaining, "Living in Utah, after a long winter filled with snow, we don’t allow people to wear white in Summer.  It brings back painful memories."

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

What does a June bug do in July?

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"