How do you fight gravity?

In response to last week’s questions, “How do you fight gravity?”, my birthday bud Jon recommends “with humor.” My cousin Wes added, “I think you have most of the problem handled with your great sense of humor and by running. Only the top of your hair is slipping.”

My friend Kevin reminds us of the words of the great Satchel Paige: "Never stand when you can sit, and never sit when you can lie down."

To fight gravity, my colleague and first time contributor suggested, “Plastic surgery” and my college roomie John agreed, “Implants.” My organizational guru friend Marya was more descriptive by writing “A buttload of Lycra my friend (and no pun intended)!”

My writing and sailing friend Rich offer “the words of Mitch Paradise, my son and heir, ‘Gravity sucks. Ergo, if you don't like the gravity, move to a planet that doesn't suck.’ “

Fortunately, my neighbor and pilot Al explained, “Most pilots fight gravity with Bernoullis. Those things that they fill airplanes wings with so that they can fly. BTW: If you're in anti-gravity, do you fly off the handle?”

Please share your thoughts about (to my emptied emailbox) "things that make you go 'Hmmm'

Why don’t people intend to make a pun?

Live well...laugh often and heartily….be happy, have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

My new friend Diana’s email finally got through the spam filter. She wanted us to know that “A day without sunshine means you must be in Ohio. I never realized it until moving to Georgia 7 years ago. Now my days are full of sunshine!”

What is a day without sunshine?

In response to last week’s questions, “What is a day without sunshine?”, my college roomie John and my creative friend Jed both recalled George Carlin’s response, “night” and my friend Richard amended this to be “a very long night.” My friend Blair determined “A day without sunshine is a normal workday” to which my colleague Swany took this several levels further when he responded “One hour without sunshine is called an Eclipse. One day without sunshine is night. 5 straight days without sunshine is called a Work Week. Multiple weeks without sunshine is called an Alaskan winter. More than a year without sunshine might be called Marriage.”

My pilot friend Ted, said “based 10 year stint in Buffalo NY, it's a day in Buffalo!” My friend Jed added, “it would be an average day in Buffalo (and a day full of buffaloing buffalo...a la last week's hmmmm).” My birthday Bud Jon declared, “Binghamton, NY”, my friend Royce wrote, “last month,” my college roomie John wrote “winter solstice around the North Pole” and my friend Richard noted, “Atlanta in January.” To this, my dad’s beach buddy Bob added, “all while waiting for global warming.” My talent cousin Dana shared, “it’s a typical winter in Chicago. That's why I live in Colorado!”

My racing friend Dave wrote, “It's not a ‘good day’ based on being a Beatles fan. From the song Good Day Sunshine, ergo, no sunshine = not a good day.” (See Dave’s other recollection at the bottom of the email.)

My sailing friend Kate knew “It ‘s the day when Bill Withers' lady is away ;) Bill Withers - Ain't No Sunshine Lyrics My brother-in-law Jay added, “Anyone recall the scene in "Notting Hill" when Bill Withers sings "Ain't No Sunshine" as Hugh Grant walks through the marketplace, transitioning through the four seasons? Always thought that was an inspired bit of movie magic and great use of special effects.”

My running friend Tony knew it was “one less day to run with shades and get a farmer's tan.” And my friend Tracey suggested “it’s day with an umbrella and galoshes.”

Trying to be positive, my sailing friend Kurt shared, “Depressing, however, usually it also means the wind is blowing. Sailing anyone?” And a definite positive, my friend Kevin submitted, “A day of napping.” My always positive friend Vivian added, “On overcast days, I think that above the clouds the sun is shining, so I take my thoughts above the clouds.--maybe that explains some things?!”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm'

How do you fight gravity?

Live well...laugh often and heartily….be happy, have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!
Hal

My friend Dave, while seeking his Beatles respond, noted that “all I know is that it made me want to "sing"*:
Aunt Jemima waffles, without her syrup
Is like the spring, without the fall
There's only one thing worse, in this universe
That's no Aunt Jemima at all

* And yes, I felt a need to look it up. The commercial ran from '68 to '75, in various versions, according to the corporate site. The YouTube version (what would we do without YouTube) that says 1967. I remember it as a kid, not a teenager, so I would think it more earlier than later. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXtujT4dZLY

But alas, a slightly different chorus, but the tune is the same ;-)

Ah - childhood commercials permanently embedded in the brain!

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?”

In response to last week’s questions, “(In honor of Super Bowl Sunday): Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?”, my dad’s beach buddy Bob noted, “It all depends how long they have been left on the kitchen counter or in the sun.”

My writing and sailing friend Rich wondered, “Since everything seems to taste like chicken, is it just a plot by the Chick-Fil-A Cows, or is there a culinary school class that teaches new chefs how to turn any item into something that tastes like chicken?” My running buddy Tony responded, “They do taste like chicken. The Chick-Fil-A cow introduced a spicy chicken wing when the flying buffalos became extinct.”

Regarding flying buffalos, my neighbor Dick noted that “certain types of buffalo have very long shaggy coats. Under these coats are winglets...only used at night when no one is watching. Also very tasty for appetizers. (The rest of the buffalo tastes terrible...throw it away).” To this, my cousin Wes asked “how did buffalos fly with such little wings?”

My organizational behavior friend Marya chortled, “Only if you are Jessica Simpson!” My wife Alison and friend Patrick recalled Jessica Simpson’s comment. “She was confused by Chicken of the Sea, which she thought tasted an awful lot like tuna. Chicken of the Sea is, of course, a brand of tuna.”

My college roomie John wrote, “Yes, they taste more like chicken vs frog legs or other food items that some may claim to taste like chicken.” My friend Vivian explained, “That's because it's related to chicken fried steak.”

My sailing friend Kurt credited his wife Connie saying, “only after the 5th one.” And my colleague Swany shared, “In the words of the little known great plains warrior chief, Chief Stands-in-Hooters, ‘Hmmmmmm, tatonka hot.’”

My friend Tracey concluded, “Maybe it's not really buffalo.”

My arborist and Margarita Night friend Ty explained, “They taste more like a fiery pit of doom if you get the right ones. Those folks up in Buffalo needed to create something that would keep them warm during that long time of year when the sky starts falling.” My pilot friend Ted, a 10 yr former Buffalo resident, explained “a real Buffalonian does not really care what the wings taste like. (S)he is just happy to be back inside a warm bar to even care what his wings taste like!”

My friend Richard hypothesized “that buffalo are actually born as chickens, and many remain chickens all their lives. However, it would seem that a significant number of them enjoy sitting on their couches watching football. Because they become sedentary, they lose their wings (to our taste buds’ delight and our cardiologists’ aggravation) from lack of use and gain a lot of weight. Of course, this is just a hypothesis.” So my sailing cousin Don explained, “This is a result of the extensive experiment a long time ago of cross-breeding buffalo with chickens, the supposed purpose of which was to get buffalo to roost together. However, the rancher-farmer-scientists stopped the project when they contemplated the inherent dangers---not to mention potential fall-out---of flying buffalo, Now, buffalo herders clip the vestigial wings of the buffalo regularly and market them as hors d'oeuvres.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm'

What is a day without sunshine?

Live well...laugh often and heartily….be happy, have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

Really cool: From my very creative and knowledgeable friend Jed who knew a fascinating Buffalo fact (confirmed by Wikipedia):

"Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo." is a grammatically correct sentence used as an example of how homonyms and homophones can be used to create complicated constructs. It has been discussed in literature since 1972 when the sentence was used by William J. Rapaport, an associate professor at the University at Buffalo. The sentence is unpunctuated and uses three different readings of the word "buffalo". In order of their first use, these are
a. the city of Buffalo, New York , which is used as a noun adjunct in the sentence and is followed by the animal;
n. the noun buffalo, an animal, in the plural (equivalent to "buffaloes" or "buffalos"), in order to avoid articles;
v. the verb "buffalo" meaning to bully, confuse, deceive, or intimidate.

Marking each "buffalo" with its use as shown above gives you:
Buffalo(a) buffalo(n) Buffalo(a) buffalo(n) buffalo(v) buffalo(v) Buffalo(a) buffalo(n).

Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?

In response to last week’s questions, “Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?” my writing and sailing friend Rich concluded, “It's for the accountants. They couldn't get to bottom line without it.”

“For me it is a fresh start. A new headline. A clean space,” wrote my Parrothead friend Sam. She added, “Then again it can also be extra area for everything you forgot to list below, or everything I need to get done first, or... see - I need the top line space!”

My niece Tracey (1st time contributor) noted that “so there is a spot to write titles.” My Margarita night buddy Ty believes, “The top line is for people to doodle unobstructed while their bosses or instructors are flapping their gums.”

My friends Richard and Kurt questioned, “Who says we never use the top line?” My friend Tracey agreed, “You were obviously not an English major! I always used it.” And at the other end of the structured-discipline continuum, my engineering friend Steve wrote, “I guess I'm just a rule breaker, I use it!” And then my organizational management guru friend Marya explained, “Because, if you are a "J" like me, that top line provides structure and balance! ;-) (“J” referring to Judging on the MBTI Personality Assessment scale).”

My friend Bill clarified, “It is actually the second line. The first line was left off since they knew no one would use it.”

My neighbor Dick, niece Tracey and birthday bud Jon cautioned, “Since we don't use it, they should do away with the top line. But then the next line would be the top line and if we continue to delete the top line all the way down the page, we'd end up with unlined (blank) paper.

My birthday bud Jon also saw another value as he wrote, “It keeps the capital letters on the first line you use from going crazy.” To understand the tremendous value of this short sentence, see my colleague Swany’s detailed economic impact at the bottom of the email.

My dad’s beach buddy Bob noted, “Because it is the "Headline" that never makes sense to begin with.” And my friend Jeff observed, “The reason for the topline is for those that don't know up from down or where to begin.”

Then my flying and biking friend Ted concluded, “For the same reason we have 12 Ounce beer bottles and never drink that last ounce.

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm'

(In preparation for Super Bowl Sunday): Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Live well...laugh often and heartily….be happy, have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

PS: The value of the top line from my colleague Swany: The top line is, in fact, used. Our society is a rules-based society. Some break the rules, most follow the rules. The top line actually sets the writing standard in regard to the height of your letters. If there were no top line, there would be no rule to your penmanship and manuscript anarchy would run rampant. Letters would fly off the paper at alarming heights, ink would dry up creating yet another product for price gouging and more woes on our economy. Congress would spend months hammering out a new bill to subsidize the average man's ink supply and search for alternate writing supplies - such as the often disregarded lead pencil. So...in our rules based society, the top line of our "ruled" paper contributes more than you realize. Next time you begin your letter to grandma, take a moment to thank the paper makers for keeping the propensity of our pens from flying off the page and keeping at least one resource in economic check.