Can you be humble at bragging?

A ponderable with the humor in the vein of George Carlin, Steven Wright and Demetri Martin.

In response to last week’s question, “Can you be humble at bragging?”, my birthday bud Jon wrote, “I think I am very good at that.  But others might differ.”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob noted, “Easily done.  You begin by saying that a friend of yours said that you were brilliant in your analysis of......whatever.”  My sailing friend Kurt concurred, adding, “Yes, the trick is to just bask in the glow of others bragging about you.”  To this, my neighbor Dick clarified, “Actually, it's not BRAGGING if you can DO it (whatever “it” is).

My former colleague Effie observed, “Every kids playgroup (the “mompition”) has a least one mompetitor who has to “humbly” “share” with the group their special little snowflake’s latest accomplishments.  Why didn’t *I* know preschoolers can recite Shakespeare and build a cold fusion engine out of Duplo blocks?!”

 

My friend Richard challenged, “No, but I know several people who brag about their humility. To be fair, they have good reason to be humble.”  My college roomie and sailing friend John expounded, “It’s relative.  Someone may consider another person's story as bragging, while another may consider it a nice humble story.   It seems the one who never stops talking is typically bragging.  Maybe the quiet person's story may come across as humble.”

Another former colleague, Jeff, explained, “Only when you’re not bragging about bragging. Being humble is no easy task if I do say so myself!”

My friend Royce noted, “Republicans* do it all of the time.”

Then my sailing and writing friend Rich shared, “I always worry about my grammar in these things.  You would think a Rhodes Scholar would be better at that.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Why do "tug" boats push their barges? from my recently wedded friend Jan

Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

(*) This may be dangerous territory to some.  Let’s just agree that US politicians attempt to be humble.

Would a dyslexic man walk into a bra?

A ponderable with the humor in the vein of George Carlin, Steven Wright and Demetri Martin.

In response to last week’s question, “Would a dyslexic man walk into a bra?”, my friend David concluded, “Yes. Gently, of course. And it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.” But then David countered his conclusion, “No, he'd walk into a rab(*). (Is that possible? I didn't know they came *that* large. Fires the imagination.)”

My friend Richard responded, “Who wouldn’t if given the opportunity?” My friend Chris L added, “If he was lucky he would :) ” My sailing friend Kurt H answered, “Yes, I would.” My dad’s beach buddy Bob then advised, “When unsure of yourself, you should feel your way around the subject.”

My DISH Network go-to friend Brett replied, “Yes, it's five o'clock somewhere, irght?” My friend Bill thought, “Maybe, but a lesdyxic man is more likely too.”

My friend Swany wrote, “Yes, except if he is Chaz Bono.” And my friend Royce expanded, “Damn! I wanna meet the woman who wears that 1!” Then my sailing and writing friend Rich added, “Once inside, could he tell left from right?”

My birthday bud Jon and friend Richard B questioned, “The more important question is whether a dyslexic insomniac agnostic stays awake all night wondering whether there really is a dog?”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

     Can you be humble at bragging? Rainn Wilson

Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

(*) Rab is a wooden beater for mixing plaster or mortar.

Why don’t quick questions seem to ever have quick answers?

A ponderable with the humor in the vein of George Carlin, Steven Wright and Demetri Martin, here are

responses to last week’s question, “Why don’t quick questions seem to ever have quick answers?”, my Parrothead friend Sam replied, “No answer is quick when you are waiting for it!”

My sailing friend Kate referenced a highly respected philosopher when she wrote, “Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple." ( Dr. Seuss)

My cycling friend Ted observed, “In my family, quick questions definitely do have quick answers!” Yet my friend Royce responded, “Hmmmm. Think I'll cogitate before answering that one.” And my dad’s beach buddy Bob added, “because one must contemplate their navel for an answer.”

My birthday buddy Jon challenged, “Hal's weekly questions and the responses prove otherwise!” To this my friend Chris validated Jon’s observation with the response at the end of the email.

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

    Would a dyslexic man walk into a bra ? (from my friend Lon)

Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

From my friend Chris: Well, to answer your question as quickly as possible, the postulated always seems to never have a reference for direct points or specific details surrounding the intrigued to begin with. It is, suffice to say, quite exasperating to extend the thoughts of the individual in any answer form when the question at hand does not specify the much needed information in greater detail required to give a short explanation. To detail further, let me juxtapose the case of Herald Farnsworth Ellington-Smith Junior VS. The United States, when in 1949 a young man accused of misrepresentation on an application was compounded by lack of description. Given the deed of the day and the highly controversial ruling against Mr Herald Farnsworth Ellington-Smith Junior, it goes without saying that many questions today reflect that same unnecessary need to quip without the recommended fraction of some minor details establishing some formal foundation and ground-work expected with a response of such magnitude. I hope that explains it better as to why quick questions don’t seem to ever have quick answers and of course if not, please submit your question in triplicate from a written document with attached forms and questionnaire required to answer all inquiries. Thank you for your support.

Ever wonder why there isn’t a “him-acane"?

A ponderable with the humor in the vein of George Carlin, Steven Wright and Demetri Martin.

In response to last week’s question, “Ever wonder why there isn’t a “him-acane”? , my birthday bud Jon concluded, “If you don't understand why, you don't have an ex wife.”

My neighbor Al noted, “Guys don't get all wound up like that” while my friend Tracey and neighbor Dick recalled, “Remember the old saying "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" (as in HER-ACANE).” Then my friend Royce shared, “Simple. Men aren't bitches!” My friend Tony added, “The thought of why not a himacane never crossed my mind, if ya know what I mean.”

My college roomie John explained, “It is Mother Nature and she is giving us a good bath! Guys would just stay dirty.”

My friend Swany observed, “The same reason there isn't a his-nia” while my spelling bee buddy Vivian added, “Whatever it is, it's probably the same reason they call it a his-terectomy!”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob recalled, “There is. It results in a reply of "Not Tonight Dear, I Have A Headache". Or you can see my cycling friend Ted’s list at the bottom of this email.

My friend Kevin clarified, “Ahh, but there are. The most famous was Andrew.” To this, my friend Chris added, “In 1979, male names were inserted to alternate with the female names"...it is just that those him-acanes go "both ways" which is why they are still called hurricanes (Her-acanes) ;) ” My sailing and writing friend Rich expounded, “They have tried and failed, even when they named it Mitch, it was still a Witch.”

And my friend Richard explained, “There is, but they call it a “male-strom” [maelstrom]! ; - ) ”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Why don’t quick questions seem to ever have quick answers? (from my Social Business friend Paul)

Today is the oldest you’ve ever been yet the youngest you’ll ever be. Enjoy this day while it lasts and remember to smile.

Hal

EXTRA: My friend Ted listed the following reasons:

• Women can do lots of damage, and are much less predictable then men. My wife Carey quickly agrees that men are very predictable.

• Women do have a scornful eye.

• Usually both are surrounded by a whirlwind of confusion.

• Women blow more than men

• And of course they are very dramatic and would love lots of press coverage!!

So there!! It's a Her-acaine!!

NOTE: To all of my friends who made Noshfest ’11 a success, “thank you.” The food, the music, Keith Barany’s comedy, and the all of the craft vendors made for an enjoyable weekend. OK, tiring, yet worth it.