Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable since chocolate comes from cocoa beans and beans are vegetables?

In response to last week's question, “Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable since chocolate comes from cocoa beans and beans are vegetables?”, this must have been a redundant question since my sailing buddy Scott had what was the common answer, “It isn’t considered a vegetable? Uh oh… “ Similarly, my doctor friend Joel wrote, “I didn't know chocolate wasn't a vegetable. Isn’t ketchup a fruit?” And my dad’s beach buddy Bob asked, “You mean I shouldn't have 5 servings a day?”

My running friend Tony realized that chocolate manufacturers don’t want it to be a vegetable because “no one would eat chocolate since veggies are good for you!” My friend Tracey agreed, “No mother at the dinner table ever said, ‘No dessert until you've eaten ALL of your chocolate.’ Instead, chocolate is in a class all by itself.” My ‘on the road again’ neighbor, Matt the Builder, agreed, “Chocolate is a major food group. End of discussion.”

With that understanding, my friend Cheryl, who hopes to contribute more often, shared this advice: Eat a balanced diet from the 4 basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate and cocoa.” My dog rescuing friend David added, “Since Peanuts are considered in the meat group, is a Reese’s Cup a “meat and vegetable?”

“During your childhood, mothers told their young sons to “Eat your vegetables; it will put hair on your chest,” explained my bicycling dentist friend Ted. “Therefore, logic would dictate that a vegetable is any naturally grown substance that adds hair to the chest. Since women adore and consume chocolate far more than the male species, and they do not display any pectoral hirsutism, the cocoa bean cannot possibly be a vegetable. This definition was drawn strictly by females, and as we established last week, there is just no good way to argue with a woman!”

Please share your thoughts about “things that make you go ‘Hmmm’ “:

When French people swear, do they say pardon my English?

Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week.

Hal

PS: My dog rescuing friend David added, “In the 16^th century, cocoa beans were used as money, therefore money did grow on trees. And chocolate is a unique vegetable: the only one that its fat is solid at room temperature.”

ADDITIONAL thoughts to last week’s question about arguing with woman: My favorite vet Max wrote, “If she likes it, you love it!” And my Melges 24 skipper Tony offered this advice, “The smart guys let the woman win the argument. The trick is to pre-engineer the discussion so that what they argue for turns out to be what you really want. To achieve this takes planning and some intellectual development / practice for most of us.”

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Do either work?

In response to last week's question, “There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Do either work? ”, the only woman to respond was my party-cake providing friend Tracey who wrote, “a big FAT ‘no’.” However, the other gender’s answers varied.

My birthday bud Jon obediently wrote, “I raised this with Ruth (his wife). She'll get back to you with my answer.”

“I have only one strategy: let them have the last word on the topic and the argument is over sooner,” wrote my neighbor Dick.

My happily married friend Richard wrote, “The short answer: No. The longer answer is ... well, it's irrelevant, because you'll never get two words in. Actually, it is my understanding that you only need to know 3 phrases to have a sucessful marriage:
1. "You're right, dear."
2. "I'm sorry."
3. "Oh" (as in "Oh?"or "Oh." or even "Oh!") which is used as a stall tactic until the hapless arguer can figure out which one of the first two phrases is applicable to a particular situation.

My tech friend Steve wrote, “Nah, the only thing I have success with is smirk and say nothing! It leaves 'em wondering.” This is supported by my friend Kevin wrote, “Any and all theories of arguing with woman are wrong. There is no successful way to argue...hence, don't do it.”

Similarly, my dad’s beach buddy Bob wrote, “Of course not. Neither is worth exploring, not even worthy of consideration as trial balloons!”

We dare not ask about 2 women arguing….

Please share your thoughts about “things that make you go ‘Hmmm’ “:

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable since chocolate comes from cocoa beans and beans are vegetables?(Then you could eat 5 servings a day.)

Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week.

Hal

Related humor from my friend Richard
I am also reminded of the age old question, "If a man says something and his wife isn't there to hear it, is he still an idiot?" And finally, I remember the immortal words of that expert on the institution of marriage, Zsa Zsa Gabor: "No man is complete until he is married. Then he's finished."

If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?”

In response to last week's question, “If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?”, my world traveling neighbor Al wrote, “It would be if it wasn't so crowded.” Referring to crowds, my observant friend Gian noted, “Fly coach sometime and experience hell firsthand.”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob concluded, “It’s always hotter at the bottom of the container.” “A purely scientific answer,” my friend Kevin wrote, “The heat source, when insulated, will always be hotter than the areas above where that radiation rises. Hence, Hell, if under us, will always be hotter.” My wise neighbor Dick added that “the heat is rising to the surface of the earth and causing global warming!”

For mental stimulation, Kevin chose to also contradict himself, “But Hell is cold because it is a place one doesn't want to be.”

My learned temple friend Bill noted that, “Guilt, like heat, comes from within. Thus, the center of the earth is very hot.” My cousin Wes offered a spiritual solution, writing “Maybe it is the furnace to heat heaven.”

My friend Gian then pondered, “If all warm air rises, why the hell is there snow on Mt. Everest?”

Please share your thoughts about “things that make you go ‘Hmmm’ “:

There are two theories to arguing with a woman . Do either work?

Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week.

Hal

My cousin Jeff didn’t know the answer to the question, but it reminds him of a cartoon that showed several elderly new arrivals in hell who were all wearing sweaters and asking the devil, “Really? You can’t make it any warmer?”

Why can't you get a tan on your palms?”

In response to last week's question, “Why can't you get a tan on your palms?”, there were 2 clear trains of thought. My birthday bud Adam introspectively observed, “because in tanning situations, my palms are usually wrapped around either a "boat drink" or cold Corona. I call it insulation.”

My caring and nurturing friend Ruth explained, “it’s because you get so much sunscreen on them while putting it on yourselves and your children.” Then my college roomie John took the low road, “I am waiting for hair to grow on my palms, then I will think about the tan.” Meanwhile, my Wisconsin-based friend Marya, responding that she has tanned palms, writing “You obviously have not applied self tanner!”

Always thinking out of the box, my sailing friend Scott realized that his palms aren’t tan “because the coconuts block the sun.” My dad’s beach buddy Bob declared “they are trees and only turn brown when they die.” Similarly, my sailing buddy John further noted, “Palms are evergreens; they simply don’t tan.”

Please share your thoughts about “things that make you go ‘Hmmm’ ":

If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?

Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week.