How can you be certain that in this world nothing is certain but death and taxes?

In response to last week’s question, “How can you be certain that in this world nothing is certain but death and taxes?”, my friend Swany responded, “because it kills me every time I have to pay my taxes.”

My sailing friend Scott explained, “You can't be certain. Of that, I am certain.” However, my cousin Valarie, countered, “For the life of me, I'm taxed to be certain. Taxing question, I'm deadly certain. BTW: "Death" and taxes?! I thought we certainly had debt and taxes!”

My friend Richard observed, “there is one thing even more certain than death and taxes: The alumni association from any school you ever attended will find you! In fact, my theory is that if we ever really want to find Osama bin Laden, all we need to do is get him listed as an alumnus of our schools. One of them is certain to find the cave in which he is hiding.”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob added, “Franklin missed two: a nagging wife and a back seat driver.”

And my friend Royce offered a solution, “Death may be inevitable, but as far as taxes go, I'm gonna sneak in to Mexico, become an illegal, and then I won't have to pay taxes.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ”:

If you are traveling at the speed of light, and turn your lights on, what happens? from my friend and neighbor Henry

Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

What if taxes were paid based on what the quality of service is provided?

In response to last week’s question, “What if taxes were paid based on what the quality of service is provided?”, my friend Richard presented an idea worth sharing before answering the question. He wrote, “No phrase in the English language has been misapplied as much as the term “civil servant.” I believe President John F. Kennedy captured things perfectly when he stated that “Washington (D. C.) is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.””

My sailing friend Tony, who also has the experience of living under British rule, concluded, “This would not work. We would need a government dept to access the quality plus an audit dept to check up on them…..this would just increase taxes further.” My friend Royce and Ted determined, “Well Hell then!! Uncle Sam will be paying me!”

My social media friend Andy did some math. “Unhappy with Congress' performance of the prior evaluation period so let's deduct that...547 employees, $174,000/yr each, $95mil or $0.29 refund per citizen. Uuugh.” He then noted “plus their pensions, their flights and their offices in their districts and their car service and… http://usgovinfo.about.com/od/uscongress/a/congresspay.htm. From this frustration, Andy recalled that Benjamin Franklin, during the Constitutional Convention, considered proposing that elected government officials not be paid for their service."

My cousin Wes determined, “This could create a death spiral of lower taxes yielding lower quality services and less government. On the other hand if faced with less pay or no job, perhaps civil servants would work harder for us, be more efficient, control their spending, be more polite and give us good government. I have good experiences with government employees, but I’m not dealing with Medicare, Medicaid, Social Services etc.”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob suggested, “It all depends on who is providing the service. It used to be 2 bucks but now range up to $100. Some pay even more for superior service.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ”:

How can you be certain that in this world nothing is certain but death and taxes? (paraphrasing Benjamin Franklin)

Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

For those observing the exodus of Charlton Heston from Egypt and the ensuing religious freedom, Happy Passover! If you want to see what the exodus would be like if social media was around, visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIxToZmJwdI. And if you need a smile, enjoy a version of Wasted Away in Manischewitzville at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcr_vg8iRdw

Is OCD supposed to be hyphenated?

A ponderable with the humor in the vein of George Carlin, Steven Wright and Demetri Martin,

in response to last week’s question, “Is OCD supposed to be hyphenated?”, my friend Richard explained, “It should be hyphenated EXACTLY 10 times. No more. No less. If you make a mistake, you have to start the hyphenating all over again. Then you wash your hands EXACTLY seven times.”

Yet my friend Royce suggested, “Only if you feel compulsive about it.”

My friend Kevin challenged, “No, as with most acronyms. But, your questions should not be in all capital letters. No, really, it shouldn't be. Just check any grammar book.” My birthday bud Jon added, “No. And it better not be or I'll change everyone else's response.” And my dad’s beach buddy Bob concurred, “No, because then everyone would know what it means.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ”:

       What if taxes were paid based on what the quality of service is provided?

Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

What are you celebrating when you celebrate April Fool’s Day?

A ponderable with the humor in the vein of George Carlin, Steven Wright and Demetri Martin.  In response to last week’s question, “What are you celebrating when you celebrate April Fool’s Day?“, my friend Royce suggested, “fooling around.”

My birthday bud Jon said, “Bosses Day” to which my friend (description removed to protect him) Steve thought it was “My employer! (Please don't put this in if there's anyone on the list that'll get me in trouble).”

My friend Richard responded, “You are simultaneously (1) celebrating the fact that it is now April and thus winter is over, and (2) recognizing you are a damned fool if you actually believe that winter is actually over!” My friend Kevin shared, “It’s all the really dumb decisions I've made in my life...which are too numerous to count.”

My NoshFest friend Ellen is celebrating “my wonderful husband’s birthday!” while my WV friend Mary Rich is celebrating “my niece’s birthday – and another year of her NOT receiving a Styrofoam cake!”

My animated and optimistic friend Vivian declared, “That's a chance to REALLY celebrate the kid in all of us without having to make an excuse for it.”

My cousin Wes and my dad’s beach buddy Bob explained that it celebrates “National Atheist Day (Psalm 14:1).” My cable marketing friend Patrick noted that we are celebrating “gullible people.”

My neighbor and running buddy Henry then clarified it all, “April 1st used to be the original ‘New Years’. So by celebrating April Fool’s Day, you are actually celebrating (or mocking) those that refused to change their new year to January 1st.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ”:

      Is OCD supposed to be hyphenated?

Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal