Monday, March 29

What do you plant to get seedless watermelon or seedless grapes?

In response to last week’s question, "What do you plant to get seedless watermelon or seedless grapes?", my friend Stuart rebuffed, "This question is PITiful. Actually, all you have to do is dig a pit in the watermelon patch." My neighbor Al also challenged the premise by writing, " That's like saying what kind of dinosaur gave us unleaded gas."

While my comedic friend Bruce thought that to get "seedless means you use less seed", my dad's beach buddy Bob concluded, "You must use stem cells."

My videographer friend Ivan observed, "Seedy people do seedy things, thus a seedy farmer produces seedy watermelon. Therefore, it is not what is planted, but who is planting it. BTW: I met a great farmer one day, he was out standing in his field!"

My running buddy Tony concluded, "Seedless watermelon come from a genetically deprived seed or from a genetically enhanced seed. It's all in the perspective." My former colleague Chris knows that it requires "a chemist, a geneticist, a farmer, 2 lab coats, a pair of overalls, a case of test-tubes and a bunch of manure... Water regularly and read it the period table of elements at night until the fruit ripens nicely."

"If I have to explain this, it's a shame because that just means technology has taken over our lives so much we can't interact with indviduals anymore," my friend Chris L wrote, "so here goes: You plant love. You see when a mommy watermelon and a daddy watermelon love each other so very much..."
My organizational mgmt guru friend Marya thinks, "you use salt for watermelon and wine for grapes." However, my Parrothead friend Sam wrote, "Isn't it obvious? You plant the lonely remains of the watermelon rind or grape skins (the part you take off for little ones). It is the perfect mixture of nothingness to yield 'sterile' fruit... I think I have been working on my thesis defense too long..."

And to put this in to perspective, my birthday bud Jon advised, "As Kansas and Georgetown (and now Hal and Alison's alum Syracuse) fans realized last week, perhaps seeds aren't as important as they seem to be."

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ”:

By celebrating Easter with a bunny, what characteristic or behavior is being encouraged?

Live well...laugh often and heartily….be happy, have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

Happy Passover to my Jewish family and friends, and may you remember the chant for the week, "Let my people go." ;-)

Monday, March 22

What’s the plural for bamboo?

In response to last week’s question, " What’s the plural for bamboo?", my dad, my friend Richard and neighbor Dick agreed it is "bamboozle," which Dick added, "this then makes it a verb as in: "When you Baboozle them (deceive)."

My dad's beach buddy Bob understands that the plural is, "Bimbos...and there are a lot of them." Ah, they are popping up everywhere.

My friend Bruce concluded it is "Bambi."
My cousin Wes thought the plural should be "Bam-bam boo-boo except that that sounds like set of cartoon characters."

"I hate to be serious," wrote my whimsical friend Vivian, "but the plural is bamboos. This would also be a good name for booze (which is spelled differently)."

My former colleague Swany confirmed, "Actually it's Bamboos. You may hear a lot of them at the next Alabama vs. Georgia game next football season."

My friend Tracey observed, "Mirriam-Webster, The American Heritage Dictionary, The Collins English Dictionary say the plural is bamboos. Wikipedia says the plural is bamboo (like deer). The only one that says the singular and the plural are the same is Wikipedia. Are you feeling bamboo-zled?"

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ”:

To celebrate Spring: What do you plant to get seedless watermelon or seedless grapes? (from my friend Patrick west)

Live well...laugh often and heartily….be happy, have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

Monday, March 15

Seeing as how Alaska is substantially bigger than Texas, why is something large called "Texas Sized"?

In response to last week’s question, "Seeing as how Alaska is substantially bigger than Texas, why is something large called "Texas Sized?", my sailing and writing friend Rich noted, "Being the biggest is not nearly as important as believing you are the biggest." My dad's beach buddy Bob concluded that we don't say "Alaska-sized "because you couldn't eat it if it was frozen." And my dad added, " A Texas sized hamburger would be just large enough to get into your mouth. An Alaskan burger, being bigger, would have to be cut into smaller pieces to eat."

My birthday bud Jon concluded, "So as not to piss off the Texans. You know how they get! PS--they say there are many more single men then women in Alalska. The warning, though, to women: the odds are good, but the goods are odd." This might explain why my organizational dietitian friend Marya wrote, "I just can't answer this without totally ripping Sarah Palin and I don't want to offend your friends."

"The reason why it's Texas sized," my colleague Chris responded, "is because of the size of the people and portions, not the state." My cousin Wes observed, "It is a pride thing. Texas is a state of mind. Alaskans are more humble."

My cousin Dave, living in Texas for last 20+ years, wrote, "Because Texas was bigger first. Anyway, we've been number 2 in too many things lately (Football, Baseball and we wish Basketball)." My friend Tracey agreed, "It was coined before Alaska was even a state. You know how proud those Texans are.... don't mess with TX!"

My running buddy Tony, a true Texan of 30 years, tells me "it is because all of Texas is inhabitable while Alaska is not unless you are of polar bear decent. Plus, just look at the cattle. Hook 'em horns!" My college roomie John said "The people of Texas will always brag. A Texas Cadillac is a pickup truck." And my sailing friend Kurt noted the comparison of "dog sled teams aren't very big; Texas' Suburbans are."

My NY-born friend Ted challenged back, "To compensate for small Texan Testicles (except for Tony!).

My colleague Swany warned, "Tell a woman she’s “Texas sized” and you’re likely to end up in Alaska!"


Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ”:

What’s the plural for bamboo? (from my neighbor Stan)

Live well...laugh often and heartily….be happy, have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Monday, March 8

It's Monday. Why is next Friday not this Friday?

In response to last week’s question, “It's Monday. Why is next Friday not this Friday?”, my running buddy Tony wrote simply “Then it wouldn't be this Friday.”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob noted, “We tend to let bygones be bygones.”

My neighbor Bob observed, “You’re talking about Friday week or Friday this week? The southern approach to projecting the next weekday after this week has always confused me. Is it the same coming from the northeast?” My college roomie John, also from the northeast wrote, “This Friday goes with This Week and Next Friday goes with Next Week.”

My birthday bud Jon retorted, “Better yet, why can’t tomorrow be Friday?”

My brother-in-law Jay, who is a newspaper editor, shared the style guide of his newspaper, the St. Petersburg Times, which avoids the confusion by declaring “Avoid such redundancies as “last Tuesday” or “next Tuesday.” The past, present or future tense of the verb usually provides adequate indication of which Tuesday is meant: He said he finished the job Tuesday. She will return Tuesday. This same thinking applies to redundancies such as "last October" and "next October."”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ”:

Seeing as how Alaska is substantially bigger than Texas, why is something large called "Texas Sized?" from my friend Tracey

Live well...laugh often and heartily….be happy, have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

If this weekend was any indication, then sailing season is back. My your landfalls equal your departures.

Monday, March 1

Why don’t people intend to make a pun?

In response to last week’s question, “Why don’t people intend to make a pun?“, my birthday bud Jon suggested, “Too much “gravity” in their personalties, I suppose.”

My lexicography friend and college Eileen may have nailed this one when she wittily (I hope) wrote, Because it’s not punny.”

My friend Patrick responded, “Good question. I work hard to make them.” And my friend Tracey added, “I almost always intend to make a pun. I just love watching my family wince.”

My writing and sailing friend Rich concluded, “Most folks are too punctilious to have a little fun with a pun.” Eileen: Watch out.

My flying friend Ted observed, “All my puns are intentional!! Remember Paul Simon's 50 ways to leave your lover? Puns make 51 ways to make her go away.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ”:

It's Monday. Why is next Friday not this Friday?

Live well...laugh often and heartily….be happy, have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!


Hal

A big thank you to Pam and the rest of NOLA for their hospitality for this weekend’s Rock N Roll ½ Marathon. Etoufee and great hospitality abound.