Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?

In response to last week's question, "Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?", my sailing buddies Scott and Ivan both declared, "Everyone knows that it's because old phone technology just doesn't add up."

My dad's beach buddy Bob noted that "the inventor of the telephone was a contrarian" while my neighbor Dick thought it was more intentional, writing "so people don't do calculations on their phone." My friend Royce noted that "one of the designers was dyslexic."

Leave it to my wise friends David and Richard, engineers on opposite coasts of the country, to reach the same conclusion. "The numbers are ordered that way to provide good karma for their primary markets: Calculators are primarily to help accountants add up money. Going up is good. Cell phones are primarily for singles looking for sexual partners. Going down is good." To be clear, though, Richard actually wrote "....while phone systems go down far more often than we like."

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :

What do dogs do on their day off? (George Carlin 1935-2008)

Live well......laugh often....have a good week.

Hal

Happy Birthday USA. Our capitalist democracy, with open communication and debate, is the best economy and quality of life on the planet. Best wishes to those running the Peachtree Road Race on the 4th.

Hmmm: They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. What should I do?

In response to last week's question, "They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. What should I do?", my birthday bud Jon said, "Practice your imperfections. I do. "

My neighbor Dick noted that these statements tell him that "nobody" practices a lot.

My friend Richard and Stuart added, "If this person named Nobody is perfect, and practice makes perfect, then I suppose we should all practice being Nobody. I've always wanted to be a Perfect Nobody."

My superb pianist and flutist friend David wrote, "Follow me here: If practice makes perfect, you should practice if you want to become perfect. But if nobody is perfect, that means perfect people are nobodies, and who wants to be one of those? Ergo: Don't practice if you want to be somebody. This from a musician who has spent years practicing...."
While my college roomie John said, "Keep practicing, the spouse is going to yell either way!", my friend Royce said, "at my age who gives a damn?" Then my dad's beach buddy Bob summarized the thoughts: "Quit while you're ahead."

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :

Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?

Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal

Hmmm: Why is their no push for "natural dentistry" like there is for natural childbirth?

In response to last week's question, "Why is their no push for "natural dentistry" like there is for natural childbirth?" , my birthday bud Jon noted, "There used to be but it was like pulling teeth!"

My internet TV guru and sailing friend Jodie challenged, "This is like comparing apples and oranges. No, make that apples and Twinkies." And my dad's beach buddy Bob was overwhelmed by the question, saying "This is much too much to chew on."

Fortunately, several friends found answers. My friend Tracey declared, "There is nothing natural about a drill in your mouth. I'm off to take a xanax. Just the word dentistry puts me over the edge. " My wife's former roommate Ruth noted, "Because you do indeed need to PUSH in childbirth but there is no need to push in a dentist chair." And my new video and sailing friend Ivan explained that "Because Laughing gas is better than a spinal tap. BTW: Did you know the Dalai Lama refused novocaine? He wanted to Transcend Dental Medication. "

My observant friend Kathleen explained, "Because 'men' also experience the pain of dentistry. No way we'll be forgoing drugs here." Yet my satellite and rafting bud Steve challenged back, "Most of us don't like pain... as for natural childbirth, I can only blame the hormones!"

My wise friend Marlene concluded, "The outcome of the pain of childbirth is the incredible joy of holding your infant in your arms for the first time--and the pride of mother and father in the little miracle they have created. The outcome in the dentist's office is a bill and less pain--at least temporarily. " My sailing friend Scott concurred, "Nobody thinks of a dentist visit as a glorious occasion like childbirth."

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :

"They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. What should I do?"

Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal

PS My leadership development expert Stuart added, "I don’t know about natural dentistry but I know a guy who got false teeth and now only eats take-out food."

How do you eat a donut hole?

In response to last week's question, " How do you eat a donut hole?", my dad had the simple answer, "In one bite." My birthday bud Adam agreed, adding, "so long as you are sitting on "holy ground" (and not training for the Yosemite 50 mi hut-to-hut hike).

My temple buddy Mike and my dad's beach buddy Bob both recommended, "from the inside out," while my sometimes sophisticated friend Royce suggested, " remove from the wrapper and insert same in your mouth and masticate. "

My friend Ruth suggested, "Filled with chocolate cream!! " while my friend Tracey champions "a big cup of coffee."

Nobody suggested you eat the holes in their entirety.

My sailing buddy Scott said, "The problem isn't eating a donut hole, it's stopping at just one." My running friend Tony was supportive, noting that "holes are not very filling."

My neighbor Dick noted that "Donut holes have all the calories, so it is best to eat around them." My wise friend Blair confirmed this by counseling, "I don’t eat the holes. Donut holes give me a very hollow feeling. And talk about your empty calories!! "

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :

Why is their no push for "natural dentistry" like there is for natural childbirth?

Live well......laugh often....have a good week.

If the dog sleeps on the bed and the husband is in the doghouse, where does the wife sleep?

In response to last week's question, " If the dog sleeps on the bed and the husband is in the doghouse, where does the wife sleep?," my friend David noted that "This is a scary question. You can think you know. But, you can never be sure. And dogs don't talk. "

With dogs not talking, responses from most women were consistent, as my friend Ruth wrote, "Anywhere she wants!" "At the Bel Age penthouse in Hollywood, of course, courtesy of her husband," wrote my friend Marya . My friend Blair aded, "Sleep with the dog, who is always good company. Or, channeling the Green Acres' theme song, maybe she sleeps in the penthouse."

My horse-loving friend Royce took to the defense, writing, "I swear! She said she was separated!" And my dad's beach buddy Bob wrote, "Her husband had to be a dog to begin with, so she belongs in the doghouse."

Several guys, however, including my brother-in-law Jay understood the women's point of view as he wrote, "In the penthouse suite at the nearest Ritz Carlton.....or, any damn place she pleases." My sailing buddy John echoed the "anywhere she damn well pleases" part, adding that "she's the Head Dog."

While my birthday bud Jon started to write, "I was going to say "around," but that would be rude ," my friend Patty once again found the balance among things, saying "Wherever she can. Let sleeping dogs lie."

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :

How do you eat a donut hole?

Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal