In response to last week's question, “How do you know that there isn’t (or wasn’t) a real Santa Claus somewhere ?”, my practical friend Richard responded, “How else does one explain all of the subordinate clauses?”
My birthday bud Jon suggested, “Big mouth--now you've ruined things for the goyim!” Yet my neighbor Dick wrote, “if you would have raised this question with my kids years ago, you could have saved me a ton of money!!”
One email simply said, “You just emailed him..................HO! HO! HO!” Then I noticed it was signed by my creative friend Fred.
My comedic friend Bruce noted, ”Who’s to say he isn’t real when you weigh him in quantum mechanics. He’s real in a parallel universe.”
My sailing friend and father of 3 redirects the conversion, “You don’t question Santa! Just enjoy the holidays!” My dog loving friend and former colleague Larry and neighbor Bob wrote, “What are you talking about? Of course there is a real Santa Claus. ” My friend Tracey agreed, “Big fat DUH! The Easter Bunny….not so much.”
My social media friend (who recently became a dog owner) Jodie replied, “Oh no, not another person trying to tell me he isn’t real! Santa is goodness—he is real!” “He exists in a city called "Hope" in the state of "Great Expectations" and therein lies "Fulfillment,” wrote my dad’s beach buddy Bob.
To confirm his existence, my friend Kevin wrote, “There was a Santa Claus. All legends are based on real people. It's just that we, as humans, love to embellish a really good story.” My colleague Chris expounded, “The American version of the Santa Claus figure received its inspiration and its name from the Dutch legend of Sinter Klaas, brought by settlers to New York in the 17th century. As early as 1773 the name appeared in the American press as "St. A Claus." ”
And to ultimately confirm Santa’s existence, my typically humorous, just-on-the-edge of crude, college roomie John shared this compassionate, emotional response, “There is an editorial, "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus". Santa rests in the hearts of mankind.” http://www.newseum.org/yesvirginia
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
Why does Father Time look so old when he was “Baby New Year” just 12 months ago?
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…
Hal
Wishing y’all a happy, healthy, wealthy New Year. May we take care of our family, friends, country and earth – and not wait for others.
<> Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Margaret Mead
<> Use everything that happens to you. Sunny Schlenger
Monday, December 29
Monday, December 22
What does a clear conscience indicate?
In response to last week's question, “What does a clear conscience indicate?”, my sailing friend Mike and quality mgmt friend Marya both agreed, “You aren't having as much fun as you should be.” Similarly, my friend Kevin observed “It’s a complete lack of a life.”
My advo-gaming friend Dov, cousin Jeff and neighbor Dick agreed it indicates “a lousy memory.” My neighbor Al said it indicates “death” while my dad’s beach buddy Bob decided it indicates “that you have just been born!”
“At best, it indicates minor brain damage, but if prolonged, I'm sure a vegetative state,” wrote by observant friend Gian. “When the clear conscience is coupled with stupidity and arrogance, one can rule out vegetative state; the individual should be diagnosed as a butthole and sent on their way.”
My witty S African transplant friend Laurence realized “it could be either poor memory or heavy drinking.” My birthday bud Jon claims “blackouts lead to a clear conscience.” In agreeing, my sailing friend Kurt added, “alcohol erases selective past deeds.” Fear not, my work colleague Chris noted that “like Pepsi Clear, it’s just a fad and will eventually, ever so slowly, slip away into history as forgotten…
My wise friend Richard concluded it is a sign of “write-only memory” while my wife’s former roommate Ruth says it indicates “nothing because it’s clear.”
My film production and sailing friend Ivan compiled a great list of 11 more ideas (see below). My usually happy friend Tracey concluded that it proves “ignorance is bliss.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
How do you know that there isn’t (or wasn’t) a real
Santa Claus somewhere ?
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…
Hal
My friend’s Ivan list of reasons for a clear conscience:
11) Forgetfulness (honestly, I can't recall having EVER done anything wrong!)
10) Liar!
9) You are not Catholic, masters of guilt.
8) You are not Jewish, Supreme masters of guilt!
7) You are a cat
6) You are on your third round, or was that a fifth?
5) You are Buddah, Krishna, Jesus, or Santa Claus
4) You are enjoying your limited stay in that womb
3) R.I.P.
2) "Honestly officer, I was just helping that sheep over the fence."
1) You are asking the wrong guy, I wouldn't know anything about a clear conscience
My advo-gaming friend Dov, cousin Jeff and neighbor Dick agreed it indicates “a lousy memory.” My neighbor Al said it indicates “death” while my dad’s beach buddy Bob decided it indicates “that you have just been born!”
“At best, it indicates minor brain damage, but if prolonged, I'm sure a vegetative state,” wrote by observant friend Gian. “When the clear conscience is coupled with stupidity and arrogance, one can rule out vegetative state; the individual should be diagnosed as a butthole and sent on their way.”
My witty S African transplant friend Laurence realized “it could be either poor memory or heavy drinking.” My birthday bud Jon claims “blackouts lead to a clear conscience.” In agreeing, my sailing friend Kurt added, “alcohol erases selective past deeds.” Fear not, my work colleague Chris noted that “like Pepsi Clear, it’s just a fad and will eventually, ever so slowly, slip away into history as forgotten…
My wise friend Richard concluded it is a sign of “write-only memory” while my wife’s former roommate Ruth says it indicates “nothing because it’s clear.”
My film production and sailing friend Ivan compiled a great list of 11 more ideas (see below). My usually happy friend Tracey concluded that it proves “ignorance is bliss.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
How do you know that there isn’t (or wasn’t) a real
Santa Claus somewhere ?
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…
Hal
My friend’s Ivan list of reasons for a clear conscience:
11) Forgetfulness (honestly, I can't recall having EVER done anything wrong!)
10) Liar!
9) You are not Catholic, masters of guilt.
8) You are not Jewish, Supreme masters of guilt!
7) You are a cat
6) You are on your third round, or was that a fifth?
5) You are Buddah, Krishna, Jesus, or Santa Claus
4) You are enjoying your limited stay in that womb
3) R.I.P.
2) "Honestly officer, I was just helping that sheep over the fence."
1) You are asking the wrong guy, I wouldn't know anything about a clear conscience
Monday, December 15
For those people that give 110%, where does the 10% come from?
In response to last week's question, “For those people that give 110%, where does the 10% come from?”, my birthday bud Jon wrote, “From people like me” while my dad’s beach buddy Bob wrote, “Their neighbors’ pocket.”
Similarly, my friend Richard, while in Haifa, wrote, “It comes from an ex(er)cise tax on the unwilling, who are always glad to pay someone else to do the "heavy lifting" for them!” My neighbor Al was a bit more direct, writing “My ____ taxes! Along with the other 100%.”
My dog rescue friend Kate noted that the “extra 10% wasn’t coming from me; I’m not losing any weight!”
My comedic cable TV friend Bruce determined that “If a person drinks five glasses of 2% milk in a given day, they have another 10%. So make sure you drink your milk!”
“The other 10% is when they take credit for someone else's work,” my college roomie John realized (or practices). “A good campaign can turn something into much more.” My sailing sailing buddy Rich added a related note, “The 10 pct. comes from the boss.”
Oh thank you! I know it’s only a euphemism, but we have only 100% to give. It’s the same with ‘exceeding expectations.’ It evolves to “Poor guy, he didn’t make the team because he only gave 100%”.”
In the holiday spirit, my running friend Tony observed, “It comes from deep inside and what our loved ones have given us.” My friend Marya inspiringly wrote, “as an educator of leadership who has a lot of faith, I believe that 10% comes from the heart and soul! “
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
What does a clear conscience indicate?
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…
Similarly, my friend Richard, while in Haifa, wrote, “It comes from an ex(er)cise tax on the unwilling, who are always glad to pay someone else to do the "heavy lifting" for them!” My neighbor Al was a bit more direct, writing “My ____ taxes! Along with the other 100%.”
My dog rescue friend Kate noted that the “extra 10% wasn’t coming from me; I’m not losing any weight!”
My comedic cable TV friend Bruce determined that “If a person drinks five glasses of 2% milk in a given day, they have another 10%. So make sure you drink your milk!”
“The other 10% is when they take credit for someone else's work,” my college roomie John realized (or practices). “A good campaign can turn something into much more.” My sailing sailing buddy Rich added a related note, “The 10 pct. comes from the boss.”
Oh thank you! I know it’s only a euphemism, but we have only 100% to give. It’s the same with ‘exceeding expectations.’ It evolves to “Poor guy, he didn’t make the team because he only gave 100%”.”
In the holiday spirit, my running friend Tony observed, “It comes from deep inside and what our loved ones have given us.” My friend Marya inspiringly wrote, “as an educator of leadership who has a lot of faith, I believe that 10% comes from the heart and soul! “
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
What does a clear conscience indicate?
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…
Monday, December 8
If you ‘shop til you drop,’ how do you and your stuff get home?
In response to last week's question, “If you ‘shop til you drop,’ how do you and your stuff get home? ”, my advanced experienced shopping colleague Sandra and friend Tracey responded, “Duh! Elves!” My neighbor Al’s answered, “Haven’t you ever heard of shop lifters?” (Witty, huh?)
My good humored friend from my Silicon Valley days Larry wrote, “My wife answered this, “That is what Husbands are for.” My colleague Kyle added, “after a long day of sitting in the obligatory “guy chair” in a number of clothing stores, I will invariably ensure they get home safely.”
My dad’s beach buddy Bob thought it would be “in an ambulance,” while my running buddy’s husband Ted thought worse, “a hearse.” To this, my brother-in-law Jay wisely advises, “we now engage the services of a personal shopper. They're professionals, trained for this.”
My cousin Valarie wrote, “I shop until I drop ---- a purchase. Then I know it’s time to go home.”
My neighbor Bob and college roomie John have explained how they avoided all of this, when they explained, “Since I shop on line I am already there.” My sailing friend Jodie added, “UPS then takes care of the rest.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
For those people that give 110%, where does the 10% come from?
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…
My good humored friend from my Silicon Valley days Larry wrote, “My wife answered this, “That is what Husbands are for.” My colleague Kyle added, “after a long day of sitting in the obligatory “guy chair” in a number of clothing stores, I will invariably ensure they get home safely.”
My dad’s beach buddy Bob thought it would be “in an ambulance,” while my running buddy’s husband Ted thought worse, “a hearse.” To this, my brother-in-law Jay wisely advises, “we now engage the services of a personal shopper. They're professionals, trained for this.”
My cousin Valarie wrote, “I shop until I drop ---- a purchase. Then I know it’s time to go home.”
My neighbor Bob and college roomie John have explained how they avoided all of this, when they explained, “Since I shop on line I am already there.” My sailing friend Jodie added, “UPS then takes care of the rest.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
For those people that give 110%, where does the 10% come from?
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…
Monday, December 1
Last Thanksgiving, many people said, “Uuugh, I ate too much.” Why will we gleefully do it again this year?
In response to last week's question, “Last Thanksgiving, many people said, “Uuugh, I ate too much.” Why will we gleefully do it again this year?”, my birthday bud Jon wrote, “You say that like it's a bad thing!”
While I have much respect for my sailing friend Kurt’s sailing knowledge, he apparently showed his limits when he wrote, “You want me to remember a lesson I learned a year ago?” Similarly, my friend Kevin lamented, “Our memory is not as big as our appetites and our desire for great tasting foods knows no bounds.”
Several friends made no excuse including Bob, Jodie, Tracey and cousin Wes, who believe, “Because it all tastes sooooo good... and there's so much to sample.... and it all tastes so good! “ To this, my Orioles-loving friend Sandy said, “So then we can again say "Uuugh, I ate too much", just like we have every year.” My running friend Tony added, “As a non-secular holiday, one can’t be guilty of gluttony.”
“The question remains are they bragging or complaining?” wrote my temple friend Bill. “Only in America do we brag we have too much to eat.”
My neighbor Bob shared this advice, “Those who refuse to learn from the lessons of the past are doomed to repeat them. Kind of a theme for our society and economy, eh?”
Alas, my writer friend Kathleen responded, “Because of the universal law of "no fat, no calories." Everyone knows that on Thanksgiving and your birthday you can eat all you want and not gain weight.*” *Effects are based on following a strict diet for one week before and after the holiday and waiting seven days before weighing. Results may vary.
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
If you ‘shop til you drop,’ how do you and your stuff get home?
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…
While I have much respect for my sailing friend Kurt’s sailing knowledge, he apparently showed his limits when he wrote, “You want me to remember a lesson I learned a year ago?” Similarly, my friend Kevin lamented, “Our memory is not as big as our appetites and our desire for great tasting foods knows no bounds.”
Several friends made no excuse including Bob, Jodie, Tracey and cousin Wes, who believe, “Because it all tastes sooooo good... and there's so much to sample.... and it all tastes so good! “ To this, my Orioles-loving friend Sandy said, “So then we can again say "Uuugh, I ate too much", just like we have every year.” My running friend Tony added, “As a non-secular holiday, one can’t be guilty of gluttony.”
“The question remains are they bragging or complaining?” wrote my temple friend Bill. “Only in America do we brag we have too much to eat.”
My neighbor Bob shared this advice, “Those who refuse to learn from the lessons of the past are doomed to repeat them. Kind of a theme for our society and economy, eh?”
Alas, my writer friend Kathleen responded, “Because of the universal law of "no fat, no calories." Everyone knows that on Thanksgiving and your birthday you can eat all you want and not gain weight.*” *Effects are based on following a strict diet for one week before and after the holiday and waiting seven days before weighing. Results may vary.
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
If you ‘shop til you drop,’ how do you and your stuff get home?
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week…
Monday, November 24
What happens when you order a diet water?
In response to last week's question, “What happens when you order a diet water?”, my engineering friend Richard knows “you get mist!” My running friend Tony thought “you’d get an empty glass” while my jeweler friend Bill more optimistically thought “you get half a glass.” Leave it to my neighbor, Dick, though, to realize that “you get a clear powder!”
My colleague Chris believes “After the laughter subsides from ordering this pleasant non-equity, you are brought filtered water (less rat droppings per mL).” My birthday bud Jon and former colleague Bob added, “You either get laughed at or overcharged; then they gladly accept your money.” My friend Patty explained that is because “you get charged for a “Tantalizing Aqua Product,” which my friend Steve noted “is usually accompanied by a big meal and rich dessert.”
My sailing buddy Kurt knew that it would be “half the calories of regular water and twice the price.” My friend Tracey observed, “I'm not sure what it does for your waistline, but I'm sure it makes your wallet lighter.”
My sailing and dog loving friend Jodie, who may have tried this, wrote, “You get nothing because the clerk probably doesn’t get it.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
Last Thanksgiving, many people said, “Uuugh, I ate too much.”
Why will we gleefully do it again this year?
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week.
My colleague Chris believes “After the laughter subsides from ordering this pleasant non-equity, you are brought filtered water (less rat droppings per mL).” My birthday bud Jon and former colleague Bob added, “You either get laughed at or overcharged; then they gladly accept your money.” My friend Patty explained that is because “you get charged for a “Tantalizing Aqua Product,” which my friend Steve noted “is usually accompanied by a big meal and rich dessert.”
My sailing buddy Kurt knew that it would be “half the calories of regular water and twice the price.” My friend Tracey observed, “I'm not sure what it does for your waistline, but I'm sure it makes your wallet lighter.”
My sailing and dog loving friend Jodie, who may have tried this, wrote, “You get nothing because the clerk probably doesn’t get it.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
Last Thanksgiving, many people said, “Uuugh, I ate too much.”
Why will we gleefully do it again this year?
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week.
Saturday, November 22
If a train stops at a train station, what happens to work at a work station?
In response to last week's question, ”If a train stops at a train station, what happens to work at a work station? “, not everyone agreed with my friend Richard and neighbor Stan that “work stops.” My college roomie John noted that a work station connects one to the Internet which enables shopping, email, research, YouTube, (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more), etc!” My cousin Wes added, “Work pauses when we get these fun emails, and then starts again, just like the train stops at the station for various transactions and starts again.”
My neighbor Dick challenged that work stations do not stop work. "Brakes stop a train at a train station. Coffee "Breaks" stop work at the work station.”
My favorite response was from my soon-to-be-published friend Kathleen, who wrote, “Work gets put on a side track until the important stuff like this is finished.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
What happens when you order a diet water?
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week..
My neighbor Dick challenged that work stations do not stop work. "Brakes stop a train at a train station. Coffee "Breaks" stop work at the work station.”
My favorite response was from my soon-to-be-published friend Kathleen, who wrote, “Work gets put on a side track until the important stuff like this is finished.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
What happens when you order a diet water?
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week..
If a train stops at a train station, what happens to work at a work station?
In response to last week's question, ”If a train stops at a train station, what happens to work at a work station? “, not everyone agreed with my friend Richard and neighbor Stan that “work stops.” My college roomie John noted that a work station connects one to the Internet which enables shopping, email, research, YouTube, (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more), etc!” My cousin Wes added, “Work pauses when we get these fun emails, and then starts again, just like the train stops at the station for various transactions and starts again.”
My neighbor Dick challenged that work stations do not stop work. "Brakes stop a train at a train station. Coffee "Breaks" stop work at the work station.”
My favorite response was from my soon-to-be-published friend Kathleen, who wrote, “Work gets put on a side track until the important stuff like this is finished.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
What happens when you order a diet water?
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week..
My neighbor Dick challenged that work stations do not stop work. "Brakes stop a train at a train station. Coffee "Breaks" stop work at the work station.”
My favorite response was from my soon-to-be-published friend Kathleen, who wrote, “Work gets put on a side track until the important stuff like this is finished.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
What happens when you order a diet water?
Live well...laugh often..be happy and have a good week..
Monday, November 10
Why do the “Secret” Service agents wear outfits that make them so identifiable?
In response to last week's question, “Why do the “Secret” Service agents wear outfits that make them so identifiable?”, my sailing friend Scott noted, “Your question presumes that you have correctly identified all of the Secret Service agents.”
Presuming we have, my politically happy friend Kevin wrote, “Secret Service guys are like Men In Black. So obvious they are not identifiable.” My pumpkin carving friend BA discovered that “the only thing that's really "secret" is what they are whispering to each other through their little microphones and hearing in the ear pieces. Hmmm..., what are they whispering about?”
My dad’s beach buddy Bob wrote, “Because the secret is what's in the box, forget the label.”
My neighbor Al figured out “They are like street hookers. They are obvious, but what they do, and for how much is the secret.”
My birthday bud Jon pointed out “that there is actually an oxymoronically named division called -- really! -- Secret Service, Uniformed Division.
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
If a train stops at a train station, what happens to work at a work station? From my friend Stuart
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week….
Presuming we have, my politically happy friend Kevin wrote, “Secret Service guys are like Men In Black. So obvious they are not identifiable.” My pumpkin carving friend BA discovered that “the only thing that's really "secret" is what they are whispering to each other through their little microphones and hearing in the ear pieces. Hmmm..., what are they whispering about?”
My dad’s beach buddy Bob wrote, “Because the secret is what's in the box, forget the label.”
My neighbor Al figured out “They are like street hookers. They are obvious, but what they do, and for how much is the secret.”
My birthday bud Jon pointed out “that there is actually an oxymoronically named division called -- really! -- Secret Service, Uniformed Division.
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
If a train stops at a train station, what happens to work at a work station? From my friend Stuart
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week….
Monday, November 3
What percentage of the candy haul do the parents get for providing the costume and security service while the kids trick or treat?
In response to last week's question, “What percentage of the candy haul do the parents get for providing the costume and security service while the kids trick or treat?,” my friend Tracey has “a 10% candy tax,” which she said the elementary school started. “However, because of my Weight Watchers program, there has been a tax cut this year for the middle-aged class.”
While my wise friend Kathleen wrote, “if the child is under the age of 6, it’s 0% because no one takes candy from a baby,” my birthday bud Jon wrote, “When our daughter was about 2, my wife Ruth had our daughter convinced that Halloween was when kids collect candy for their mothers!” Go Ruth!
My friend Mark, who has successfully done his share of parenting, explained “the House takes a variable % based on quality not quantity but seldom under 15%. It’s the adult’s responsibility to save our kids (plus the neighbors) from too much chocolate. We also trade with the kids if we see something better in their bag.” My cousin Jeff also focused on the quality issue when he wrote, “It depends on what percentage of the total is peanut butter cups.”
My running buddy Tony uses “a sliding scale based on the children's behavior. The parent is the judge and the judge's ruling is final…although there have been cases of candy bribery.”
Back to reality, my cousin Wes and friend Stephanie both thought the parents’ take was “100% of the cavity bill.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
Why do the “Secret” Service agents wear outfits that make them so identifiable?
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week….
While my wise friend Kathleen wrote, “if the child is under the age of 6, it’s 0% because no one takes candy from a baby,” my birthday bud Jon wrote, “When our daughter was about 2, my wife Ruth had our daughter convinced that Halloween was when kids collect candy for their mothers!” Go Ruth!
My friend Mark, who has successfully done his share of parenting, explained “the House takes a variable % based on quality not quantity but seldom under 15%. It’s the adult’s responsibility to save our kids (plus the neighbors) from too much chocolate. We also trade with the kids if we see something better in their bag.” My cousin Jeff also focused on the quality issue when he wrote, “It depends on what percentage of the total is peanut butter cups.”
My running buddy Tony uses “a sliding scale based on the children's behavior. The parent is the judge and the judge's ruling is final…although there have been cases of candy bribery.”
Back to reality, my cousin Wes and friend Stephanie both thought the parents’ take was “100% of the cavity bill.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
Why do the “Secret” Service agents wear outfits that make them so identifiable?
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week….
Monday, October 27
If it’s not fun doing, then…..then what?
In response to last week's question, “If it’s not fun doing, then…..then what? ”, the traditional answer was “then it’s not worth doing.” My birthday bud Jon, neighbor Dick or process guru friend Marya all wrote, “then it’s work.” My sailing buddy and master fix-it person Kurt added, “if it’s not fun, it’s probably moral and legal.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
What percentage of the candy haul do the parents get for
providing the costume and security service while the
kids trick or treat?
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week….
Hal
PS: My brother-in-law Jay acknowledged that UNC Heels are only so good in football, and is on to cheering for his home baseball team: Go Rays!
PPS: I got a pleasant surprise from my friend and former colleague Cassandra, who reads these questions weekly and decided to call to catch-up. Yes: our generation was better behaved.
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
What percentage of the candy haul do the parents get for
providing the costume and security service while the
kids trick or treat?
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week….
Hal
PS: My brother-in-law Jay acknowledged that UNC Heels are only so good in football, and is on to cheering for his home baseball team: Go Rays!
PPS: I got a pleasant surprise from my friend and former colleague Cassandra, who reads these questions weekly and decided to call to catch-up. Yes: our generation was better behaved.
Monday, October 20
Why do we sit in the stands?
In response to last week's question, “For football fans, why do we sit in the stands? ”, my sagely friend Stuart know that it’s the standard policy. My birthday bud Jon recalled that “when at Michigan, we were always in the End Zone. It made sitting appropriate.”
My friend Kevin told his son Elliott, “because I’m lazy” (actually, it’s more smart than lazy).
My sailing buddy Scott said, “Because no one could figure out how to stand in the sits.” My temple buddy Bill noticed that “if you have ever been in the student section at a UGA game, you stand the entire time - - you do stand in the stands.” My Melges sailing buddy Tony clarified this point, saying “If you stand in stands the guys behind you cannot see. Therefore we must all sit in the stands or all stand in the stands or else run the risk of being considered rude. And to be clear, the English fans stand in stands when they get excited and all sit down after……much more disciplined.”
My U Wi Badger buddy Marya wrote, “In Badger Country, the stands are for the 5th Quarter! Oh yea, roll out the barrel, we'll have a barrel of fun!” Meanwhile, my brother-in-law Jay took a hurtful shot writing, “Well, if you're a Syracuse "football" fan, you don't sit or stand in the stands. You lie on the ground and cry. Now, if you're a Carolina fan, you don't sit in the stands either; rather you stand the entire game and cheer for the No. 18, 5-1 Tar Heels...”
And my dog rescue friend Kate, anticipating getting older, wrote, “I sit anywhere if I think I’ll be able to stand up again.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
If it’s not fun doing, then…..then what? (from my colleague Bill)
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week….
My friend Kevin told his son Elliott, “because I’m lazy” (actually, it’s more smart than lazy).
My sailing buddy Scott said, “Because no one could figure out how to stand in the sits.” My temple buddy Bill noticed that “if you have ever been in the student section at a UGA game, you stand the entire time - - you do stand in the stands.” My Melges sailing buddy Tony clarified this point, saying “If you stand in stands the guys behind you cannot see. Therefore we must all sit in the stands or all stand in the stands or else run the risk of being considered rude. And to be clear, the English fans stand in stands when they get excited and all sit down after……much more disciplined.”
My U Wi Badger buddy Marya wrote, “In Badger Country, the stands are for the 5th Quarter! Oh yea, roll out the barrel, we'll have a barrel of fun!” Meanwhile, my brother-in-law Jay took a hurtful shot writing, “Well, if you're a Syracuse "football" fan, you don't sit or stand in the stands. You lie on the ground and cry. Now, if you're a Carolina fan, you don't sit in the stands either; rather you stand the entire game and cheer for the No. 18, 5-1 Tar Heels...”
And my dog rescue friend Kate, anticipating getting older, wrote, “I sit anywhere if I think I’ll be able to stand up again.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
If it’s not fun doing, then…..then what? (from my colleague Bill)
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week….
Monday, October 13
Would you give your right arm to be ambidextrous?
In response to last week's question, “Would you give your right arm to be ambidextrous ? ”, my friend Royce, without actually committing to give his right arm, asked “To whom would you give it?” My dad’s beach buddy Bob also seemed magnanimous (????) when writing, “I might consider giving my left arm as I only use it to put my socks and pants on.” My cousin Wes was less charitable when responding, “Could I get disability with that?”
My brother-in-law Jay offered a reasonable alternative, “I would give my left arm to have Nolan Ryan's right arm.” My college roomie John couldn’t imagine riding his bike or motorcycle with one arm, adding “It would make me even slower at the PC.”
My neighbor Dick offered “to give my left leg to be able to dance!” My friend Richard added, “I already have two left feet so I think I'm half way there. Hey, by the way, did you hear about the guy who lost his entire left side in a powerboat accident? He was All Right!”
My birthday bud Jon commented, “Well, I have to hand it to Zak (who submitted the question). He shouldered his responsibility, applied some elbow grease, and put his finger on the problem! Quire humerus!”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
For football fans, why do we sit in the stands? (from my friends Tracey and Kevin’s son Elliott)
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week….
My brother-in-law Jay offered a reasonable alternative, “I would give my left arm to have Nolan Ryan's right arm.” My college roomie John couldn’t imagine riding his bike or motorcycle with one arm, adding “It would make me even slower at the PC.”
My neighbor Dick offered “to give my left leg to be able to dance!” My friend Richard added, “I already have two left feet so I think I'm half way there. Hey, by the way, did you hear about the guy who lost his entire left side in a powerboat accident? He was All Right!”
My birthday bud Jon commented, “Well, I have to hand it to Zak (who submitted the question). He shouldered his responsibility, applied some elbow grease, and put his finger on the problem! Quire humerus!”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
For football fans, why do we sit in the stands? (from my friends Tracey and Kevin’s son Elliott)
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week….
Monday, October 6
Why do lawyers restate the obvious by saying that they are 'Attorneys at Law'?
In response to last week's question, “Why do lawyers restate the obvious by saying that they are 'Attorneys at Law'? Are they avoiding confusion with 'Attorneys at Fast Food Restaurants', 'Attorneys at Car Dealerships' or 'Attorneys at Math'? ”, my educated friend Stuart wrote, “An attorney is ’one who is legally appointed to transact business on another's behalf.’ If he/she is at Law, a village in South Lanarkshire, Scotland, that’s fine with me. But I don’t want anyone with a nose in my business, including my crooked uncle Sam, who would be an attorney out law. My friend and new-father again Gian agreed with Stuart about attorneys representing someone else, such as the “removal of one’s liberty,” and added that “SAT administrators have had a couple of run-ins with Attorneys-at-Math, also known as cheating by proxy.”
My friend Mark, who as a lawyer gives lawyers a good name, explained “One of the funniest names I've heard lawyers called, by a real rascal, was Enemies of Fun.” To the question at hand, “it’s a mix of marketing (it sounds more professional) and an appreciation of history that is most likely subconscious. [see “PS” below for his explanation] Using three words where one will do (lawyer, counsel, attorney) doesn't do much to help the profession's reputation regarding being concise.”
My neighbor Stan suggested, “You are acutely aware that attorneys are verbose. They use the extended title so the shingle hanging outside their door has more words and looks more important.” My friend Royce noted that the verboseness is “a ploy for higher legal fees. The more verbiage, the higher the fee.” My running buddy Tony was glad that they don’t charge by the letter, or they’d be "attorneys at supercalifragilisticexpialidocious." (Yes, Tony has 2 young daughters.)
My cousin’s Canuck brother Jack noted that “in Canada, lawyers are called Barristers and Solicitors. Isn’t soliciting illegal? So what are they soliciting?”
My sailing friend Jody noted, “This is as redundant as her friend who went to the “tooth dentist.”
My college roomie John noted that, “perhaps, by using the term, "Attorney at Law", they are minimizing any further ridicule. And like they say about a certain gender, ‘can't live with them and can't live without them’.”
My cousin Jeff noted that “Attorneys-at-law is to avoid confusion with the more intuitive attorneys-in-law, a term that would make everyone think they were sitting down to a meeting with the mother or father lawyer’s spouse.”
My videographer friend Ivan shared this letter about redundant phrases:
From the Department of Redundancy Department, we thank you for your query and will get back with you when we have a moment in time. My banker keeps asking me if I have my PIN Number (Personal Identification Number Number) and I recently explained to the cop who thought I was in a stolen vehicle why I had a mismatched Vehicle Identification ID VIN Number (Vehicle Identification Identification Vehicle Identification Number Number)
This is just to say that why should AAL's, or more appropriately A'sAL (Attorneys at Law) have all the fun. Most lawyers are big A'sALs in many people’s minds. I may even need an A'sAL of an Attorney at Law to represent me for driving with that mismatched Vehicle Identification VIN ID Number.
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
Would you give your right arm to be ambidextrous ? from my son, Zak
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week….
Hal
PS The history behind the phrase is more interesting for history geeks than important. I know of two explanations behind the phrase. First, the word attorney comes from a medieval French word, attorn, which means to transfer or appoint, as in appointing a representative. Qualifying the word with "at law" explains the context for the appointment. Second, in the old English common law system, which is the main source of our legal traditions, there were two separate courts, those "at law," and those "in equity." You recovered damages (money) in the courts at law; judges issued injunctions (court orders) and the like in the courts at equity. The phrases "attorney at law" or in "attorney in equity" told people about how the lawyer could help them. None of that stuff has much bearing on how courts work today, but you asked, kind of!
My colleague Chris added, there is the 'attorney-in-fact' which is responsible for being either a power of attorney (POA) or letter of attorney in common law (according to Wikipedia)….and that what Hollywood agents are.
…from Hal: Is it coincidental that the most written responses I’ve received are about verbose attorneys?
PS 2: Also from my friend Gian. Last week’s discussion on carbon copies reminded me of the old Ditto machines used by schools, and their distinctive aniline purple dye and interesting smell. The smell was only present when the "run-off" was fresh. I can remember getting slightly damp quizzes and, like most kids, taking a moment to smell the sheet. I don't think any of us ever knew what the hell the smell was, nor why they smelled.
My friend Mark, who as a lawyer gives lawyers a good name, explained “One of the funniest names I've heard lawyers called, by a real rascal, was Enemies of Fun.” To the question at hand, “it’s a mix of marketing (it sounds more professional) and an appreciation of history that is most likely subconscious. [see “PS” below for his explanation] Using three words where one will do (lawyer, counsel, attorney) doesn't do much to help the profession's reputation regarding being concise.”
My neighbor Stan suggested, “You are acutely aware that attorneys are verbose. They use the extended title so the shingle hanging outside their door has more words and looks more important.” My friend Royce noted that the verboseness is “a ploy for higher legal fees. The more verbiage, the higher the fee.” My running buddy Tony was glad that they don’t charge by the letter, or they’d be "attorneys at supercalifragilisticexpialidocious." (Yes, Tony has 2 young daughters.)
My cousin’s Canuck brother Jack noted that “in Canada, lawyers are called Barristers and Solicitors. Isn’t soliciting illegal? So what are they soliciting?”
My sailing friend Jody noted, “This is as redundant as her friend who went to the “tooth dentist.”
My college roomie John noted that, “perhaps, by using the term, "Attorney at Law", they are minimizing any further ridicule. And like they say about a certain gender, ‘can't live with them and can't live without them’.”
My cousin Jeff noted that “Attorneys-at-law is to avoid confusion with the more intuitive attorneys-in-law, a term that would make everyone think they were sitting down to a meeting with the mother or father lawyer’s spouse.”
My videographer friend Ivan shared this letter about redundant phrases:
From the Department of Redundancy Department, we thank you for your query and will get back with you when we have a moment in time. My banker keeps asking me if I have my PIN Number (Personal Identification Number Number) and I recently explained to the cop who thought I was in a stolen vehicle why I had a mismatched Vehicle Identification ID VIN Number (Vehicle Identification Identification Vehicle Identification Number Number)
This is just to say that why should AAL's, or more appropriately A'sAL (Attorneys at Law) have all the fun. Most lawyers are big A'sALs in many people’s minds. I may even need an A'sAL of an Attorney at Law to represent me for driving with that mismatched Vehicle Identification VIN ID Number.
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
Would you give your right arm to be ambidextrous ? from my son, Zak
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week….
Hal
PS The history behind the phrase is more interesting for history geeks than important. I know of two explanations behind the phrase. First, the word attorney comes from a medieval French word, attorn, which means to transfer or appoint, as in appointing a representative. Qualifying the word with "at law" explains the context for the appointment. Second, in the old English common law system, which is the main source of our legal traditions, there were two separate courts, those "at law," and those "in equity." You recovered damages (money) in the courts at law; judges issued injunctions (court orders) and the like in the courts at equity. The phrases "attorney at law" or in "attorney in equity" told people about how the lawyer could help them. None of that stuff has much bearing on how courts work today, but you asked, kind of!
My colleague Chris added, there is the 'attorney-in-fact' which is responsible for being either a power of attorney (POA) or letter of attorney in common law (according to Wikipedia)….and that what Hollywood agents are.
…from Hal: Is it coincidental that the most written responses I’ve received are about verbose attorneys?
PS 2: Also from my friend Gian. Last week’s discussion on carbon copies reminded me of the old Ditto machines used by schools, and their distinctive aniline purple dye and interesting smell. The smell was only present when the "run-off" was fresh. I can remember getting slightly damp quizzes and, like most kids, taking a moment to smell the sheet. I don't think any of us ever knew what the hell the smell was, nor why they smelled.
Monday, September 29
For email, how can you read a blind courtesy copy (bcc)?
In response to last week's question, “For email, how can you read a blind courtesy copy (bcc)?,” my cousin Steve, recuperating from ACL surgery, figured it was not meant to be read but touched, like Braille, which my neighbor Al added, “Duh! Read it with your fingers.” My birthday bud Jon knew that it is done “with a touch screen.”
My dad’s birthday bud Bob said, “you need foresight.”
My temple friend Bill is able to read BCCs that say :.:…:.:::..:... which my birthday bud Adam knows is called “Braille mail.” My innovative friend Bob thought similarly, BCC “is actually Braille courtesy copy.”
…and my role model friend Sherri said “I thought the “cc” and “bcc” stood for “carbon copy” and “blind carbon copy.” Oh the fun I had explaining that to my 12 year old.”
My humorous colleague Chris explained, “Because the courtesy copy must be blind to everyone, this would mean that the courtesy copy doesn't want to be seen and therefore must have an attitude. To state this would mean that we are dealing with artificial intelligence that has an attitude! Everyone run for the hills!
My neighbor, Bob, the engineer, suggested, “Print it in Braille” although our other neighbor Dick “doesn’t do ‘blind copies’ because his printer doesn’t print in Braille.”
My friend Tracey realized “The copy is blind, not the reader. So it is the copy that might have trouble seeing the reader.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
Why do lawyers restate the obvious by saying that they are 'Attorneys at Law'? Are they avoiding confusion with 'Attorneys at Fast Food Restaurants', 'Attorneys at Car Dealerships' or 'Attorneys at Math'? (from my friend Chris)
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week….
My dad’s birthday bud Bob said, “you need foresight.”
My temple friend Bill is able to read BCCs that say :.:…:.:::..:... which my birthday bud Adam knows is called “Braille mail.” My innovative friend Bob thought similarly, BCC “is actually Braille courtesy copy.”
…and my role model friend Sherri said “I thought the “cc” and “bcc” stood for “carbon copy” and “blind carbon copy.” Oh the fun I had explaining that to my 12 year old.”
My humorous colleague Chris explained, “Because the courtesy copy must be blind to everyone, this would mean that the courtesy copy doesn't want to be seen and therefore must have an attitude. To state this would mean that we are dealing with artificial intelligence that has an attitude! Everyone run for the hills!
My neighbor, Bob, the engineer, suggested, “Print it in Braille” although our other neighbor Dick “doesn’t do ‘blind copies’ because his printer doesn’t print in Braille.”
My friend Tracey realized “The copy is blind, not the reader. So it is the copy that might have trouble seeing the reader.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
Why do lawyers restate the obvious by saying that they are 'Attorneys at Law'? Are they avoiding confusion with 'Attorneys at Fast Food Restaurants', 'Attorneys at Car Dealerships' or 'Attorneys at Math'? (from my friend Chris)
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week….
Monday, September 22
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
In response to last week's question, “Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?”, my birthday bud Jon and running friend Tony both agreed, “yes, but who is going to collect it?” My friend Richard noted that “yes, if it’s the end-user’s lifetime, and so far, no customer has complained, right?”
My friend Tracey was being practical when she thought about such a guarantee, “Would you ask for a refund or an exchange?”
My dad reminded me that our cousins, who are undertakers, know that people are dying to get in and they’ve never heard a complaint.”
My friend Gian, whose wife recently had their second child, “Coffins are for the livig; as far as the dead are concerned, they could be buried in Tupperware and they wouldn’t be upset. Think about it. If there is an afterlife outside of my corporeal being, I would be so stoked that I wouldn’t give a rat’s patootie what the living were doing with or to my body.”
Having written this, my dad’s beach buddy Bob concluded, “This has long since been put to rest as a dead issue! The end.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
For email, how can you read a blind courtesy copy (bcc) ?
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week…..and celebrate Noah Webster’s 250th birthday this Sunday, 9/28, by making up a new word.
Hal
PS: To follow-up the prior week’s question, “can a person flunk a personality test?”, my dog rescue friend Kate noted that “in the old days, it would describe actuaries instead of CPAs. “ And another dog rescue friend, David, replied to Jodie’s concern about trying to assign black and white labels to people’s personalities, saying “There are colored labels, but they cost more.”
My friend Tracey was being practical when she thought about such a guarantee, “Would you ask for a refund or an exchange?”
My dad reminded me that our cousins, who are undertakers, know that people are dying to get in and they’ve never heard a complaint.”
My friend Gian, whose wife recently had their second child, “Coffins are for the livig; as far as the dead are concerned, they could be buried in Tupperware and they wouldn’t be upset. Think about it. If there is an afterlife outside of my corporeal being, I would be so stoked that I wouldn’t give a rat’s patootie what the living were doing with or to my body.”
Having written this, my dad’s beach buddy Bob concluded, “This has long since been put to rest as a dead issue! The end.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
For email, how can you read a blind courtesy copy (bcc) ?
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week…..and celebrate Noah Webster’s 250th birthday this Sunday, 9/28, by making up a new word.
Hal
PS: To follow-up the prior week’s question, “can a person flunk a personality test?”, my dog rescue friend Kate noted that “in the old days, it would describe actuaries instead of CPAs. “ And another dog rescue friend, David, replied to Jodie’s concern about trying to assign black and white labels to people’s personalities, saying “There are colored labels, but they cost more.”
Monday, September 15
What does it mean if you flunk a personality test?
In response to last week's question, “What does it mean if you flunk a personality test?”, my attorney birthday bud Jon wrote, “It means you get your CPA license.” And my civil engineer neighbor Bob said it means “you are probably a good candidate to become an engineer.“ My dad’s beach buddy Bob added, “You must be a very high achiever.”
My dad, an engineer who is loved for his personality, observed that “Everyone has a personality maybe good and maybe bad, but who are we to determine this?” My hard to categorize, home brewing, Internet TV friend Jodie, “The tests are multiple choice answers, each of which puts you into some pre-defined personality category or label. We humans are forever trying to turn our wonderfully rich, colorful world into black and white labels.”
When all is said and done, it was my neighbor Dick who left me thinking, when he wrote, “I'm more worried about people who score marginally...are they Jekyll or are they Hyde?”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week.
My dad, an engineer who is loved for his personality, observed that “Everyone has a personality maybe good and maybe bad, but who are we to determine this?” My hard to categorize, home brewing, Internet TV friend Jodie, “The tests are multiple choice answers, each of which puts you into some pre-defined personality category or label. We humans are forever trying to turn our wonderfully rich, colorful world into black and white labels.”
When all is said and done, it was my neighbor Dick who left me thinking, when he wrote, “I'm more worried about people who score marginally...are they Jekyll or are they Hyde?”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week.
Monday, September 8
Why is it that it’s good to score under par in golf but it’s bad to be “under par” in anything else?"
In response to last week's question, “Why is it that it’s good to score under par in golf but it’s bad to be “under par” in anything else?”, my cousin Wes approaches golf from the “value perspective -- lowest cost per stroke. Therefore I plan to be over-par in everything including golf!”
Many of my business and personal friends are like my videographer friend Ivan, who wrote, “My golf score and my bowling score are usually the same, so I don't think I am qualified to answer this week’s question.”
My humorous friend Royce wrote, "Under par" is a means to justify and glorify grown men spending hours chasing a little white ball around a very big lawn.” To this, Ivan added, “Golf is the sport that uses the smallest, least expensive ball and has the largest, most expensive playing field, so who can reason with anything golf-related?"
My dad’s beach buddy Bob observed, “If you are under par in golf, you have to be a good putter. On the days you feel under par, at least you can reminisce about the good days while you putter around.”
My college roomie John wrote that the pharma commercials, car ads and self help books make me feel ‘under par.’ Thank goodness for beer ads and fast food ads.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
What does it mean if you flunk a personality test?
(courtesy of my budding author friend Kathleen)
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week.
Hal
"Golf is like a perfectly good walk, ruined!" --Mark Twain (also from Ivan)
Many of my business and personal friends are like my videographer friend Ivan, who wrote, “My golf score and my bowling score are usually the same, so I don't think I am qualified to answer this week’s question.”
My humorous friend Royce wrote, "Under par" is a means to justify and glorify grown men spending hours chasing a little white ball around a very big lawn.” To this, Ivan added, “Golf is the sport that uses the smallest, least expensive ball and has the largest, most expensive playing field, so who can reason with anything golf-related?"
My dad’s beach buddy Bob observed, “If you are under par in golf, you have to be a good putter. On the days you feel under par, at least you can reminisce about the good days while you putter around.”
My college roomie John wrote that the pharma commercials, car ads and self help books make me feel ‘under par.’ Thank goodness for beer ads and fast food ads.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
What does it mean if you flunk a personality test?
(courtesy of my budding author friend Kathleen)
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week.
Hal
"Golf is like a perfectly good walk, ruined!" --Mark Twain (also from Ivan)
Tuesday, September 2
When French people swear, do they say pardon my English?
In response to last week's question, “When French people swear, do they say pardon my English?”, my birthday bud Jon wrote, “No. The French language does not provide for that level of humility.” My worldly friend Richard added, “The French do NOT swear. The French also do not perspire, complain, yield to threats from other nations, or behave or speak in an arrogant manner. The French are perfect, monsieur.”
My Silicon Valley birthday bud Adam agreed, “No, no, they say pardon my French - very important to respect their own language.” My friend Royce added, “ ‘Pardon’ has the same meaning in English as in French. To paraphrase Jimi Hendrix "pardonnez-moi tandis que j'embrasse le ciel."
My college roomie John realized that he does say “pardon my French” when his vocalization begins with another “F” word. Jon wrote, “It would make sense if the French had an “E” swear word that they would substitute with “pardon my English.”
When all is said and done, my dad’s beach buddy noted that the French simply yell, “Sacrebleu.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":
Why is it that it’s good to score under par in golf but it’s bad to be “under par” in anything else?
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week.
Hal
Relevant quotes from Richard, who admittedly has a connection with the defense industry:
· “War without France would be like .. uh ... World War II.” - Unknown
· "Raise your right hand if you like the French ... Raise both hands if you are French." – Unknown
"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us." - Alan Kent
"Going to war without the French is like going into battle without an accordion." - U. S. Army Gen. Norman H. Schwartzkopf (Ret.)
Monday, August 25
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable since chocolate comes from cocoa beans and beans are vegetables?
In response to last week's question, “Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable since chocolate comes from cocoa beans and beans are vegetables?”, this must have been a redundant question since my sailing buddy Scott had what was the common answer, “It isn’t considered a vegetable? Uh oh… “ Similarly, my doctor friend Joel wrote, “I didn't know chocolate wasn't a vegetable. Isn’t ketchup a fruit?” And my dad’s beach buddy Bob asked, “You mean I shouldn't have 5 servings a day?”
My running friend Tony realized that chocolate manufacturers don’t want it to be a vegetable because “no one would eat chocolate since veggies are good for you!” My friend Tracey agreed, “No mother at the dinner table ever said, ‘No dessert until you've eaten ALL of your chocolate.’ Instead, chocolate is in a class all by itself.” My ‘on the road again’ neighbor, Matt the Builder, agreed, “Chocolate is a major food group. End of discussion.”
With that understanding, my friend Cheryl, who hopes to contribute more often, shared this advice: Eat a balanced diet from the 4 basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate and cocoa.” My dog rescuing friend David added, “Since Peanuts are considered in the meat group, is a Reese’s Cup a “meat and vegetable?”
“During your childhood, mothers told their young sons to “Eat your vegetables; it will put hair on your chest,” explained my bicycling dentist friend Ted. “Therefore, logic would dictate that a vegetable is any naturally grown substance that adds hair to the chest. Since women adore and consume chocolate far more than the male species, and they do not display any pectoral hirsutism, the cocoa bean cannot possibly be a vegetable. This definition was drawn strictly by females, and as we established last week, there is just no good way to argue with a woman!”
Please share your thoughts about “things that make you go ‘Hmmm’ “:
When French people swear, do they say pardon my English?
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week.
Hal
PS: My dog rescuing friend David added, “In the 16th century, cocoa beans were used as money, therefore money did grow on trees. And chocolate is a unique vegetable: the only one that its fat is solid at room temperature.”
ADDITIONAL thoughts to last week’s question about arguing with woman: My favorite vet Max wrote, “If she likes it, you love it!” And my Melges 24 skipper Tony offered this advice, “The smart guys let the woman win the argument. The trick is to pre-engineer the discussion so that what they argue for turns out to be what you really want. To achieve this takes planning and some intellectual development / practice for most of us.”
Monday, August 18
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Do either work?
In response to last week's question, “There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Do either work? ”, the only woman to respond was my party-cake providing friend Tracey who wrote, “a big FAT ‘no’.” However, the other gender’s answers varied.
My birthday bud Jon obediently wrote, “I raised this with Ruth (his wife). She'll get back to you with my answer.”
“I have only one strategy: let them have the last word on the topic and the argument is over sooner,” wrote my neighbor Dick.
My happily married friend Richard wrote, “The short answer: No. The longer answer is ... well, it's irrelevant, because you'll never get two words in. Actually, it is my understanding that you only need to know 3 phrases to have a sucessful marriage:
1. "You're right, dear."
2. "I'm sorry."
3. "Oh" (as in "Oh?"or "Oh." or even "Oh!") which is used as a stall tactic until the hapless arguer can figure out which one of the first two phrases is applicable to a particular situation.
My tech friend Steve wrote, “Nah, the only thing I have success with is smirk and say nothing! It leaves 'em wondering.” This is supported by my friend Kevin wrote, “Any and all theories of arguing with woman are wrong. There is no successful way to argue...hence, don't do it.”
Similarly, my dad’s beach buddy Bob wrote, “Of course not. Neither is worth exploring, not even worthy of consideration as trial balloons!”
We dare not ask about 2 women arguing….
Please share your thoughts about “things that make you go ‘Hmmm’ “:
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable since chocolate comes from cocoa beans and beans are vegetables?(Then you could eat 5 servings a day.)
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week.
Hal
Related humor from my friend Richard
I am also reminded of the age old question, "If a man says something and his wife isn't there to hear it, is he still an idiot?" And finally, I remember the immortal words of that expert on the institution of marriage, Zsa Zsa Gabor: "No man is complete until he is married. Then he's finished."
My birthday bud Jon obediently wrote, “I raised this with Ruth (his wife). She'll get back to you with my answer.”
“I have only one strategy: let them have the last word on the topic and the argument is over sooner,” wrote my neighbor Dick.
My happily married friend Richard wrote, “The short answer: No. The longer answer is ... well, it's irrelevant, because you'll never get two words in. Actually, it is my understanding that you only need to know 3 phrases to have a sucessful marriage:
1. "You're right, dear."
2. "I'm sorry."
3. "Oh" (as in "Oh?"or "Oh." or even "Oh!") which is used as a stall tactic until the hapless arguer can figure out which one of the first two phrases is applicable to a particular situation.
My tech friend Steve wrote, “Nah, the only thing I have success with is smirk and say nothing! It leaves 'em wondering.” This is supported by my friend Kevin wrote, “Any and all theories of arguing with woman are wrong. There is no successful way to argue...hence, don't do it.”
Similarly, my dad’s beach buddy Bob wrote, “Of course not. Neither is worth exploring, not even worthy of consideration as trial balloons!”
We dare not ask about 2 women arguing….
Please share your thoughts about “things that make you go ‘Hmmm’ “:
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable since chocolate comes from cocoa beans and beans are vegetables?(Then you could eat 5 servings a day.)
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week.
Hal
Related humor from my friend Richard
I am also reminded of the age old question, "If a man says something and his wife isn't there to hear it, is he still an idiot?" And finally, I remember the immortal words of that expert on the institution of marriage, Zsa Zsa Gabor: "No man is complete until he is married. Then he's finished."
Tuesday, August 12
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?”
In response to last week's question, “If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?”, my world traveling neighbor Al wrote, “It would be if it wasn't so crowded.” Referring to crowds, my observant friend Gian noted, “Fly coach sometime and experience hell firsthand.”
My dad’s beach buddy Bob concluded, “It’s always hotter at the bottom of the container.” “A purely scientific answer,” my friend Kevin wrote, “The heat source, when insulated, will always be hotter than the areas above where that radiation rises. Hence, Hell, if under us, will always be hotter.” My wise neighbor Dick added that “the heat is rising to the surface of the earth and causing global warming!”
For mental stimulation, Kevin chose to also contradict himself, “But Hell is cold because it is a place one doesn't want to be.”
My learned temple friend Bill noted that, “Guilt, like heat, comes from within. Thus, the center of the earth is very hot.” My cousin Wes offered a spiritual solution, writing “Maybe it is the furnace to heat heaven.”
My friend Gian then pondered, “If all warm air rises, why the hell is there snow on Mt. Everest?”
Please share your thoughts about “things that make you go ‘Hmmm’ “:
There are two theories to arguing with a woman . Do either work?
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week.
Hal
My cousin Jeff didn’t know the answer to the question, but it reminds him of a cartoon that showed several elderly new arrivals in hell who were all wearing sweaters and asking the devil, “Really? You can’t make it any warmer?”
My dad’s beach buddy Bob concluded, “It’s always hotter at the bottom of the container.” “A purely scientific answer,” my friend Kevin wrote, “The heat source, when insulated, will always be hotter than the areas above where that radiation rises. Hence, Hell, if under us, will always be hotter.” My wise neighbor Dick added that “the heat is rising to the surface of the earth and causing global warming!”
For mental stimulation, Kevin chose to also contradict himself, “But Hell is cold because it is a place one doesn't want to be.”
My learned temple friend Bill noted that, “Guilt, like heat, comes from within. Thus, the center of the earth is very hot.” My cousin Wes offered a spiritual solution, writing “Maybe it is the furnace to heat heaven.”
My friend Gian then pondered, “If all warm air rises, why the hell is there snow on Mt. Everest?”
Please share your thoughts about “things that make you go ‘Hmmm’ “:
There are two theories to arguing with a woman . Do either work?
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week.
Hal
My cousin Jeff didn’t know the answer to the question, but it reminds him of a cartoon that showed several elderly new arrivals in hell who were all wearing sweaters and asking the devil, “Really? You can’t make it any warmer?”
Monday, August 4
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?”
In response to last week's question, “Why can't you get a tan on your palms?”, there were 2 clear trains of thought. My birthday bud Adam introspectively observed, “because in tanning situations, my palms are usually wrapped around either a "boat drink" or cold Corona. I call it insulation.”
My caring and nurturing friend Ruth explained, “it’s because you get so much sunscreen on them while putting it on yourselves and your children.” Then my college roomie John took the low road, “I am waiting for hair to grow on my palms, then I will think about the tan.” Meanwhile, my Wisconsin-based friend Marya, responding that she has tanned palms, writing “You obviously have not applied self tanner!”
Always thinking out of the box, my sailing friend Scott realized that his palms aren’t tan “because the coconuts block the sun.” My dad’s beach buddy Bob declared “they are trees and only turn brown when they die.” Similarly, my sailing buddy John further noted, “Palms are evergreens; they simply don’t tan.”
Please share your thoughts about “things that make you go ‘Hmmm’ ":
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week.
My caring and nurturing friend Ruth explained, “it’s because you get so much sunscreen on them while putting it on yourselves and your children.” Then my college roomie John took the low road, “I am waiting for hair to grow on my palms, then I will think about the tan.” Meanwhile, my Wisconsin-based friend Marya, responding that she has tanned palms, writing “You obviously have not applied self tanner!”
Always thinking out of the box, my sailing friend Scott realized that his palms aren’t tan “because the coconuts block the sun.” My dad’s beach buddy Bob declared “they are trees and only turn brown when they die.” Similarly, my sailing buddy John further noted, “Palms are evergreens; they simply don’t tan.”
Please share your thoughts about “things that make you go ‘Hmmm’ ":
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
Live well…..laugh often….be happy…have a good week.
Monday, July 28
Do you go “back and forth” if you really must go forth before you go back?”
In response to last week's question, “do you go “back and forth” if you really must go forth before you go back?”, my dad noted that for most automobile drivers, you go in reverse before you go forth. “For automatic gear shifts “R” is next to “P”.”
My neighbor Dick found the effortless conclusion, “Quantum physics says that time and location are relative. You could very easily stand still and the universe could move both back and then forth around you.”
My sailing friend Maria wrote, “the idealist in me would like to think that that you go backwards so you can get up speed to go forward (at least that’s how I justify the setbacks in my life).” My college roomie John described this as “taking 2 steps backwards to make 1 step forward.” We can only hope that his step forward is larger than the two back.
My wise friend Marlene noted, though, that this can be true when you are walking but not when you are speaking.
Please share your thoughts about “things that make you go ‘Hmmm’ ":
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
Live well…..laugh often….have a good week.
My neighbor Dick found the effortless conclusion, “Quantum physics says that time and location are relative. You could very easily stand still and the universe could move both back and then forth around you.”
My sailing friend Maria wrote, “the idealist in me would like to think that that you go backwards so you can get up speed to go forward (at least that’s how I justify the setbacks in my life).” My college roomie John described this as “taking 2 steps backwards to make 1 step forward.” We can only hope that his step forward is larger than the two back.
My wise friend Marlene noted, though, that this can be true when you are walking but not when you are speaking.
Please share your thoughts about “things that make you go ‘Hmmm’ ":
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
Live well…..laugh often….have a good week.
Tuesday, July 22
Is everyone normal until you get to know them ?
In response to last week's question, “Is everyone normal until you get to know them ?”, my neighbor Bob wrote “Growing up in the Quaker Church, one of the sayings I remember is "Everyone is sane except me and thee.....and sometimes I wonder about thee." I guess it depends on your definition of normal, which my sailing buddy Scott and humorous friend Royce also wondered, “Can you define normal?”
My dad’s beach buddy Bob asked, “Is ‘normal’ a grade in school?” My cousin Wes realized that “in a set of one, anybody is normal.”
My wise friend Richard quantified this, writing “Statistically speaking, only 68% of us are within +/- 1 standard deviation of the mean, assuming a normal distribution. By that logic, the mean would be considered the norm, hence "normal." So at best, only about 2 out of every 3 people are normal. Taking this to its logical "real world" application, if you are with two other people, and they both seem OK, well then ...
“Everyone is normal until they get to know me,” wrote my sailing friend Ivan while my birthday bud Jon zinged “We use to think you were until…..”
My quality friend Marya wrote, “Hell no; what would be the point of meeting interesting people? “ My sailing friend Jodie agreed, “Who’d want to be anyway.” My friend Tracey added, “Normal is so boring. I don't think I know one person who is normal.... thank G-d! Well, except me, who has over 500 porcelain cats. Right?” And my college roomie John said, “I prefer Abby Normal-like people!”
My dad realized that “the people I know are normal or above normal. Only people with a ‘glass half empty’ have the less than normal friends.” My insightfully observant friend David wrote, “There are definitely people who seemed totally normal when I first met them. But this is relatively rare. In contrast, there are a lot more cases of people who've seemed bizarre when I first met them, who were really just regular folks with a few strange quirks.”
My friend Patty observed, “Dysfunctional is the “new” normal. I prefer the word “interesting”. And I’m pretty sure this is a normal response.”
Please share your thoughts about “things that make you go ‘Hmmm’ “:
Why do you go “back and forth” if you really must go forth before you go back?
Live well…..laugh often….have a good week.
Hal
PS: My neighbor Dick shared a related note from Larry, the Cable Guy, "Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appearbright until you hear them speak".
My dad’s beach buddy Bob asked, “Is ‘normal’ a grade in school?” My cousin Wes realized that “in a set of one, anybody is normal.”
My wise friend Richard quantified this, writing “Statistically speaking, only 68% of us are within +/- 1 standard deviation of the mean, assuming a normal distribution. By that logic, the mean would be considered the norm, hence "normal." So at best, only about 2 out of every 3 people are normal. Taking this to its logical "real world" application, if you are with two other people, and they both seem OK, well then ...
“Everyone is normal until they get to know me,” wrote my sailing friend Ivan while my birthday bud Jon zinged “We use to think you were until…..”
My quality friend Marya wrote, “Hell no; what would be the point of meeting interesting people? “ My sailing friend Jodie agreed, “Who’d want to be anyway.” My friend Tracey added, “Normal is so boring. I don't think I know one person who is normal.... thank G-d! Well, except me, who has over 500 porcelain cats. Right?” And my college roomie John said, “I prefer Abby Normal-like people!”
My dad realized that “the people I know are normal or above normal. Only people with a ‘glass half empty’ have the less than normal friends.” My insightfully observant friend David wrote, “There are definitely people who seemed totally normal when I first met them. But this is relatively rare. In contrast, there are a lot more cases of people who've seemed bizarre when I first met them, who were really just regular folks with a few strange quirks.”
My friend Patty observed, “Dysfunctional is the “new” normal. I prefer the word “interesting”. And I’m pretty sure this is a normal response.”
Please share your thoughts about “things that make you go ‘Hmmm’ “:
Why do you go “back and forth” if you really must go forth before you go back?
Live well…..laugh often….have a good week.
Hal
PS: My neighbor Dick shared a related note from Larry, the Cable Guy, "Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appearbright until you hear them speak".
Monday, July 14
Hmmm: Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
In response to last week's question, “Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?”, my sailing advisor Rich wrote, “Yes. I was standing in a Church and the man said " Do you take this woman? "
My dad’s beach buddy friend Bob said, “Every morning at 5:30am.” My neighbor Dick wrote, “I stopped to think once.....no, I guess it was several times......well, maybe I do that quite often.....don't know why I can't remember...... “
My birthday bud Jon wrote, “I started to work on answer last Monday and never got back to it.” My quality friend Marya admitted “Actually, I’ve been compared to Charlene from Designing Women.”
My quilting and sailing friend Jodie found the bright side. “It’s the ‘not-stopping’ that messes me up. I start thinking about something and stop thinking about what I’m doing and botch it. Makes for a lot of ripping out seams when sewing, and “frogging” which is reverse knitting. This must be why we do such great thinking when running, biking, showering, etc. We can set our brains loose and put ourselves on autopilot without peril. Of course, it’s a bit scary when it happens when we’re driving….’How’d I get here?’ ”
Please share your thoughts about “things that make you go ‘Hmmm’ “:
Is everyone normal until you get to know them ?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
My dad’s beach buddy friend Bob said, “Every morning at 5:30am.” My neighbor Dick wrote, “I stopped to think once.....no, I guess it was several times......well, maybe I do that quite often.....don't know why I can't remember...... “
My birthday bud Jon wrote, “I started to work on answer last Monday and never got back to it.” My quality friend Marya admitted “Actually, I’ve been compared to Charlene from Designing Women.”
My quilting and sailing friend Jodie found the bright side. “It’s the ‘not-stopping’ that messes me up. I start thinking about something and stop thinking about what I’m doing and botch it. Makes for a lot of ripping out seams when sewing, and “frogging” which is reverse knitting. This must be why we do such great thinking when running, biking, showering, etc. We can set our brains loose and put ourselves on autopilot without peril. Of course, it’s a bit scary when it happens when we’re driving….’How’d I get here?’ ”
Please share your thoughts about “things that make you go ‘Hmmm’ “:
Is everyone normal until you get to know them ?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Sunday, July 6
What do dogs do on their day off?
In response to last week's question, "What do dogs do on their day off?”, my wise friend Jodie wrote, "Dogs have no desire for a day off. Dogs are completely happy being dogs." My ELNK friend Lisa agreed, “Dogs don't take days off... hence the expression, "working like a dog." Based on my experience with my two "angelic" chihuahuas, they work all day at finding new places and positions to sleep.”
Albeit hard to dispute, especially in our family, my witty friend Richard suggested that they probably “punch a time clock and work on an assembly line ... building Greyhound buses.”
My college roomie John wrote to say that George Carlin’s answer was “sleep all day instead of most of the day! ” John then had to add, “Put your spouse and a dog in the trunk of a car and drive around for an hour. Open the trunk and see who is happier to see you!!!! With all that dog love, they deserve a day off.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
With many people vacationing this time of year: Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal Schlenger
Albeit hard to dispute, especially in our family, my witty friend Richard suggested that they probably “punch a time clock and work on an assembly line ... building Greyhound buses.”
My college roomie John wrote to say that George Carlin’s answer was “sleep all day instead of most of the day! ” John then had to add, “Put your spouse and a dog in the trunk of a car and drive around for an hour. Open the trunk and see who is happier to see you!!!! With all that dog love, they deserve a day off.”
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
With many people vacationing this time of year: Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal Schlenger
Monday, June 30
Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
In response to last week's question, "Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?", my sailing buddies Scott and Ivan both declared, "Everyone knows that it's because old phone technology just doesn't add up."
My dad's beach buddy Bob noted that "the inventor of the telephone was a contrarian" while my neighbor Dick thought it was more intentional, writing "so people don't do calculations on their phone." My friend Royce noted that "one of the designers was dyslexic."
Leave it to my wise friends David and Richard, engineers on opposite coasts of the country, to reach the same conclusion. "The numbers are ordered that way to provide good karma for their primary markets: Calculators are primarily to help accountants add up money. Going up is good. Cell phones are primarily for singles looking for sexual partners. Going down is good." To be clear, though, Richard actually wrote "....while phone systems go down far more often than we like."
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
What do dogs do on their day off? (George Carlin 1935-2008)
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
Happy Birthday USA. Our capitalist democracy, with open communication and debate, is the best economy and quality of life on the planet. Best wishes to those running the Peachtree Road Race on the 4th.
My dad's beach buddy Bob noted that "the inventor of the telephone was a contrarian" while my neighbor Dick thought it was more intentional, writing "so people don't do calculations on their phone." My friend Royce noted that "one of the designers was dyslexic."
Leave it to my wise friends David and Richard, engineers on opposite coasts of the country, to reach the same conclusion. "The numbers are ordered that way to provide good karma for their primary markets: Calculators are primarily to help accountants add up money. Going up is good. Cell phones are primarily for singles looking for sexual partners. Going down is good." To be clear, though, Richard actually wrote "....while phone systems go down far more often than we like."
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
What do dogs do on their day off? (George Carlin 1935-2008)
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
Happy Birthday USA. Our capitalist democracy, with open communication and debate, is the best economy and quality of life on the planet. Best wishes to those running the Peachtree Road Race on the 4th.
Wednesday, June 25
Hmmm: They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. What should I do?
In response to last week's question, "They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. What should I do?", my birthday bud Jon said, "Practice your imperfections. I do. "
My neighbor Dick noted that these statements tell him that "nobody" practices a lot.
My friend Richard and Stuart added, "If this person named Nobody is perfect, and practice makes perfect, then I suppose we should all practice being Nobody. I've always wanted to be a Perfect Nobody."
My superb pianist and flutist friend David wrote, "Follow me here: If practice makes perfect, you should practice if you want to become perfect. But if nobody is perfect, that means perfect people are nobodies, and who wants to be one of those? Ergo: Don't practice if you want to be somebody. This from a musician who has spent years practicing...."
While my college roomie John said, "Keep practicing, the spouse is going to yell either way!", my friend Royce said, "at my age who gives a damn?" Then my dad's beach buddy Bob summarized the thoughts: "Quit while you're ahead."
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
My neighbor Dick noted that these statements tell him that "nobody" practices a lot.
My friend Richard and Stuart added, "If this person named Nobody is perfect, and practice makes perfect, then I suppose we should all practice being Nobody. I've always wanted to be a Perfect Nobody."
My superb pianist and flutist friend David wrote, "Follow me here: If practice makes perfect, you should practice if you want to become perfect. But if nobody is perfect, that means perfect people are nobodies, and who wants to be one of those? Ergo: Don't practice if you want to be somebody. This from a musician who has spent years practicing...."
While my college roomie John said, "Keep practicing, the spouse is going to yell either way!", my friend Royce said, "at my age who gives a damn?" Then my dad's beach buddy Bob summarized the thoughts: "Quit while you're ahead."
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
Tuesday, June 24
Hmmm: Why is their no push for "natural dentistry" like there is for natural childbirth?
In response to last week's question, "Why is their no push for "natural dentistry" like there is for natural childbirth?" , my birthday bud Jon noted, "There used to be but it was like pulling teeth!"
My internet TV guru and sailing friend Jodie challenged, "This is like comparing apples and oranges. No, make that apples and Twinkies." And my dad's beach buddy Bob was overwhelmed by the question, saying "This is much too much to chew on."
Fortunately, several friends found answers. My friend Tracey declared, "There is nothing natural about a drill in your mouth. I'm off to take a xanax. Just the word dentistry puts me over the edge. " My wife's former roommate Ruth noted, "Because you do indeed need to PUSH in childbirth but there is no need to push in a dentist chair." And my new video and sailing friend Ivan explained that "Because Laughing gas is better than a spinal tap. BTW: Did you know the Dalai Lama refused novocaine? He wanted to Transcend Dental Medication. "
My observant friend Kathleen explained, "Because 'men' also experience the pain of dentistry. No way we'll be forgoing drugs here." Yet my satellite and rafting bud Steve challenged back, "Most of us don't like pain... as for natural childbirth, I can only blame the hormones!"
My wise friend Marlene concluded, "The outcome of the pain of childbirth is the incredible joy of holding your infant in your arms for the first time--and the pride of mother and father in the little miracle they have created. The outcome in the dentist's office is a bill and less pain--at least temporarily. " My sailing friend Scott concurred, "Nobody thinks of a dentist visit as a glorious occasion like childbirth."
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
"They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. What should I do?"
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
PS My leadership development expert Stuart added, "I don’t know about natural dentistry but I know a guy who got false teeth and now only eats take-out food."
My internet TV guru and sailing friend Jodie challenged, "This is like comparing apples and oranges. No, make that apples and Twinkies." And my dad's beach buddy Bob was overwhelmed by the question, saying "This is much too much to chew on."
Fortunately, several friends found answers. My friend Tracey declared, "There is nothing natural about a drill in your mouth. I'm off to take a xanax. Just the word dentistry puts me over the edge. " My wife's former roommate Ruth noted, "Because you do indeed need to PUSH in childbirth but there is no need to push in a dentist chair." And my new video and sailing friend Ivan explained that "Because Laughing gas is better than a spinal tap. BTW: Did you know the Dalai Lama refused novocaine? He wanted to Transcend Dental Medication. "
My observant friend Kathleen explained, "Because 'men' also experience the pain of dentistry. No way we'll be forgoing drugs here." Yet my satellite and rafting bud Steve challenged back, "Most of us don't like pain... as for natural childbirth, I can only blame the hormones!"
My wise friend Marlene concluded, "The outcome of the pain of childbirth is the incredible joy of holding your infant in your arms for the first time--and the pride of mother and father in the little miracle they have created. The outcome in the dentist's office is a bill and less pain--at least temporarily. " My sailing friend Scott concurred, "Nobody thinks of a dentist visit as a glorious occasion like childbirth."
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
"They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. What should I do?"
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
PS My leadership development expert Stuart added, "I don’t know about natural dentistry but I know a guy who got false teeth and now only eats take-out food."
Monday, June 9
How do you eat a donut hole?
In response to last week's question, " How do you eat a donut hole?", my dad had the simple answer, "In one bite." My birthday bud Adam agreed, adding, "so long as you are sitting on "holy ground" (and not training for the Yosemite 50 mi hut-to-hut hike).
My temple buddy Mike and my dad's beach buddy Bob both recommended, "from the inside out," while my sometimes sophisticated friend Royce suggested, " remove from the wrapper and insert same in your mouth and masticate. "
My friend Ruth suggested, "Filled with chocolate cream!! " while my friend Tracey champions "a big cup of coffee."
Nobody suggested you eat the holes in their entirety.
My sailing buddy Scott said, "The problem isn't eating a donut hole, it's stopping at just one." My running friend Tony was supportive, noting that "holes are not very filling."
My neighbor Dick noted that "Donut holes have all the calories, so it is best to eat around them." My wise friend Blair confirmed this by counseling, "I don’t eat the holes. Donut holes give me a very hollow feeling. And talk about your empty calories!! "
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
Why is their no push for "natural dentistry" like there is for natural childbirth?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
My temple buddy Mike and my dad's beach buddy Bob both recommended, "from the inside out," while my sometimes sophisticated friend Royce suggested, " remove from the wrapper and insert same in your mouth and masticate. "
My friend Ruth suggested, "Filled with chocolate cream!! " while my friend Tracey champions "a big cup of coffee."
Nobody suggested you eat the holes in their entirety.
My sailing buddy Scott said, "The problem isn't eating a donut hole, it's stopping at just one." My running friend Tony was supportive, noting that "holes are not very filling."
My neighbor Dick noted that "Donut holes have all the calories, so it is best to eat around them." My wise friend Blair confirmed this by counseling, "I don’t eat the holes. Donut holes give me a very hollow feeling. And talk about your empty calories!! "
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
Why is their no push for "natural dentistry" like there is for natural childbirth?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Monday, June 2
If the dog sleeps on the bed and the husband is in the doghouse, where does the wife sleep?
In response to last week's question, " If the dog sleeps on the bed and the husband is in the doghouse, where does the wife sleep?," my friend David noted that "This is a scary question. You can think you know. But, you can never be sure. And dogs don't talk. "
With dogs not talking, responses from most women were consistent, as my friend Ruth wrote, "Anywhere she wants!" "At the Bel Age penthouse in Hollywood, of course, courtesy of her husband," wrote my friend Marya . My friend Blair aded, "Sleep with the dog, who is always good company. Or, channeling the Green Acres' theme song, maybe she sleeps in the penthouse."
My horse-loving friend Royce took to the defense, writing, "I swear! She said she was separated!" And my dad's beach buddy Bob wrote, "Her husband had to be a dog to begin with, so she belongs in the doghouse."
Several guys, however, including my brother-in-law Jay understood the women's point of view as he wrote, "In the penthouse suite at the nearest Ritz Carlton.....or, any damn place she pleases." My sailing buddy John echoed the "anywhere she damn well pleases" part, adding that "she's the Head Dog."
While my birthday bud Jon started to write, "I was going to say "around," but that would be rude ," my friend Patty once again found the balance among things, saying "Wherever she can. Let sleeping dogs lie."
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
How do you eat a donut hole?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
With dogs not talking, responses from most women were consistent, as my friend Ruth wrote, "Anywhere she wants!" "At the Bel Age penthouse in Hollywood, of course, courtesy of her husband," wrote my friend Marya . My friend Blair aded, "Sleep with the dog, who is always good company. Or, channeling the Green Acres' theme song, maybe she sleeps in the penthouse."
My horse-loving friend Royce took to the defense, writing, "I swear! She said she was separated!" And my dad's beach buddy Bob wrote, "Her husband had to be a dog to begin with, so she belongs in the doghouse."
Several guys, however, including my brother-in-law Jay understood the women's point of view as he wrote, "In the penthouse suite at the nearest Ritz Carlton.....or, any damn place she pleases." My sailing buddy John echoed the "anywhere she damn well pleases" part, adding that "she's the Head Dog."
While my birthday bud Jon started to write, "I was going to say "around," but that would be rude ," my friend Patty once again found the balance among things, saying "Wherever she can. Let sleeping dogs lie."
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
How do you eat a donut hole?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
Tuesday, May 27
Is sign language the same in languages other than English?
In response to last week's question, "Is sign language the same in languages other than English?", my friend Richard thought it "unlikely. However, there are some universally-recognized signs, some which you see during rush hour."
My worldly brother-in-law Jay wrote, "Well, it is called American Sign Language . And if we say "Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear..." there was a significant system of sign languages in the Old West. Of course, arguably the best known non-English sign language is Italian. "
While my friend Royce is "waiting for a sign" before he responds, my college roomie John thought, "No, because in some cases, one would sign left to right while other would sign right to left."
Thankfully, my friend Tracey asaked her sister-in-law, who is proficient in sign language, who said, "It is the same because sign language is a symbol for objects. The exact spelling of words differ by language, but not the signs."
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
If the dog sleeps on the bed and the husband is in the dog-house,
where does the wife sleep? (courtesy of my boss Haim)
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
My worldly brother-in-law Jay wrote, "Well, it is called American Sign Language . And if we say "Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear..." there was a significant system of sign languages in the Old West. Of course, arguably the best known non-English sign language is Italian. "
While my friend Royce is "waiting for a sign" before he responds, my college roomie John thought, "No, because in some cases, one would sign left to right while other would sign right to left."
Thankfully, my friend Tracey asaked her sister-in-law, who is proficient in sign language, who said, "It is the same because sign language is a symbol for objects. The exact spelling of words differ by language, but not the signs."
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
If the dog sleeps on the bed and the husband is in the dog-house,
where does the wife sleep? (courtesy of my boss Haim)
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Friday, May 23
In response to last week's question, "Is bacteria the only culture some people have?", my birthday bud Jon knows it could be yes "unless they are Germ-mans." My friend Royce added, "and it just sort of eats away at 'em."
My friend Richard determined that it would be yes unless they eat yogurt."Culturally speaking, for some people bacteria would actually be a step up ," wrote my friend Tracey. "Politically, I imagine most of the world (outside of the US) believes that bacteria is the only culture in America ," adds my college roomie John."
Ferget da bacteria. Culcha is what ya drink," suggests my cousin Wes.
And my running partner's orally-fixated husband Ted (OK, he's a dentist) knew that the unfornunate reality is that most of us have more culture in a swab of saliva than in their upbringing -- whether it is P Gingivalis, Streptococus Mutans, or Actinomyces Actinomycetemcomitans (A.A. for short). I suppose if we all spit on our kids instead of giving them showers, we will not only give them a more cultural upbringing, but we will save water as well.
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
Is sign language the same in languages other than English?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
My friend Richard determined that it would be yes unless they eat yogurt."Culturally speaking, for some people bacteria would actually be a step up ," wrote my friend Tracey. "Politically, I imagine most of the world (outside of the US) believes that bacteria is the only culture in America ," adds my college roomie John."
Ferget da bacteria. Culcha is what ya drink," suggests my cousin Wes.
And my running partner's orally-fixated husband Ted (OK, he's a dentist) knew that the unfornunate reality is that most of us have more culture in a swab of saliva than in their upbringing -- whether it is P Gingivalis, Streptococus Mutans, or Actinomyces Actinomycetemcomitans (A.A. for short). I suppose if we all spit on our kids instead of giving them showers, we will not only give them a more cultural upbringing, but we will save water as well.
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
Is sign language the same in languages other than English?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Monday, May 5
Why do they make cars go so fast if it is illegal?
In response to last week's question, "Why do they make cars go so fast if it is illegal?", my birthday bud Jon's wife Ruth came through with "because it would be a crime not to."
My quality guru friend Marya knew "Because rednecks need something to do -- DOH!" My Colorado cousin Wes empathized, "So you can drive in Montana or other states with "reasonable and prudent" speed limits."
My dad thought it was "Forward thinking manufacturers anticipating the car will travel on the German Autobahn." My running buddy Tony considered that to be "a testerone-centric marketing ploy."
My friend Kevin clarified, "Speed limits are actually suggestions, not actual laws. And it prevents I-285 in ATL from being boring. Kevin's wife Tracey clearly lives in the same world, as she wrote, "I might need to get to Kroger before the 3-day sale ends! Some situations require that I ignore mere speed limits and get there really fast."
My still-skiing-in-CO friend Mark cautioned, "Currently, it is so that automakers provide the means to subsidize law enforcement. Just wait until Lo Jacks are standard equipment and cars remotely download data from 'black boxes' that is more than 'time for an oil change.' Your own car will rat you out."
It could be that my running partner's husband Ted had the answer. "You're talking to an old pro. Nothing in this world is half as fun or exciting as when it's legal. Speeeeeeed! It's better when you get away with it! (Do drive safe though.)"
PS: My sailing friend Scott wrote, "I'm still working on last week's "Can you procrastinate now?" question.
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
Is bacteria the only culture some people have?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
I'm on holiday next week, so you're on your own to start the week.
My quality guru friend Marya knew "Because rednecks need something to do -- DOH!" My Colorado cousin Wes empathized, "So you can drive in Montana or other states with "reasonable and prudent" speed limits."
My dad thought it was "Forward thinking manufacturers anticipating the car will travel on the German Autobahn." My running buddy Tony considered that to be "a testerone-centric marketing ploy."
My friend Kevin clarified, "Speed limits are actually suggestions, not actual laws. And it prevents I-285 in ATL from being boring. Kevin's wife Tracey clearly lives in the same world, as she wrote, "I might need to get to Kroger before the 3-day sale ends! Some situations require that I ignore mere speed limits and get there really fast."
My still-skiing-in-CO friend Mark cautioned, "Currently, it is so that automakers provide the means to subsidize law enforcement. Just wait until Lo Jacks are standard equipment and cars remotely download data from 'black boxes' that is more than 'time for an oil change.' Your own car will rat you out."
It could be that my running partner's husband Ted had the answer. "You're talking to an old pro. Nothing in this world is half as fun or exciting as when it's legal. Speeeeeeed! It's better when you get away with it! (Do drive safe though.)"
PS: My sailing friend Scott wrote, "I'm still working on last week's "Can you procrastinate now?" question.
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
Is bacteria the only culture some people have?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
I'm on holiday next week, so you're on your own to start the week.
Tuesday, April 29
Can you procrastinate now?
In response to last week's question, "Can you procrastinate now?", I'm sure you can appreciate how many of my friends said, "I'll get back to you on that " including my neighbor Dick , cousin Wes , and friends Kathleen, Laurence and Royce. In spite of our diversity, we have the same sense of humor.
My birthday bud Jon responded, "I'll think about it soon" while my social media buddy Jed responded, "I'll think about it later. "
My insightful friend Richard was more positive, writing, "I'd gladly procrastinate now if I could just find the time."
"I do it all the time ," wrote my dad's beach buddy Bob. "My wife keeps asking me to do things every day and I make it a point to put it off till tomorrow. For some things tomorrow never comes."
To conclude, my birthday bud Adam counselled, "Why not put something off today when you can easily procrastinate tomorrow?"
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
Why do they make cars go so fast if it is illegal?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
My birthday bud Jon responded, "I'll think about it soon" while my social media buddy Jed responded, "I'll think about it later. "
My insightful friend Richard was more positive, writing, "I'd gladly procrastinate now if I could just find the time."
"I do it all the time ," wrote my dad's beach buddy Bob. "My wife keeps asking me to do things every day and I make it a point to put it off till tomorrow. For some things tomorrow never comes."
To conclude, my birthday bud Adam counselled, "Why not put something off today when you can easily procrastinate tomorrow?"
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
Why do they make cars go so fast if it is illegal?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Wednesday, April 23
If you are "legally" drunk, what's the problem?
There were many spirited responses to last week's question, "If you are "legally" drunk, what's the problem?" My neigbhor Al observed, "The problem is that everyone else is legally sober."
My sailing buddy Scott realized that being legally drunk may be what’s leading to the regular "Hmmm" discussions about hypothetical questions.
Being positive, my birthday bud Jon agreed with my sailing buddy John, who wrote, "There's no problem at all....unless you happen upon an officer of the law who decides that you would be better off spending the night under official supervision (jail) until you are less "legally drunk"!"
My cheesehead friend Marya said, "There isn't a problem unless it's deer hunting season in WI.....something about guns, ammo and schnapps to make you fear for your life."
My always-positive friend Mindy thought "the bigger issue is legally blind people, not those legally drunk, who are freely roaming around." To which my neighbor Dick asked, "If you are "legally blind" and "legally drunk" are you "legally blind drunk"?
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
Can you procrastinate now? (with some help from my cousin Steve)
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
Related story from Dick: "Your Honor, " said the attorney, "my client did not want to be 'drunk in public' . They threw him out of the bar!! He was trying to be 'drunk in private'!!"
My sailing buddy Scott realized that being legally drunk may be what’s leading to the regular "Hmmm" discussions about hypothetical questions.
Being positive, my birthday bud Jon agreed with my sailing buddy John, who wrote, "There's no problem at all....unless you happen upon an officer of the law who decides that you would be better off spending the night under official supervision (jail) until you are less "legally drunk"!"
My cheesehead friend Marya said, "There isn't a problem unless it's deer hunting season in WI.....something about guns, ammo and schnapps to make you fear for your life."
My always-positive friend Mindy thought "the bigger issue is legally blind people, not those legally drunk, who are freely roaming around." To which my neighbor Dick asked, "If you are "legally blind" and "legally drunk" are you "legally blind drunk"?
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
Can you procrastinate now? (with some help from my cousin Steve)
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
Related story from Dick: "Your Honor, " said the attorney, "my client did not want to be 'drunk in public' . They threw him out of the bar!! He was trying to be 'drunk in private'!!"
Friday, April 18
Why do pajama bottoms have pockets?
In response to last week's question, " Why do pajama bottoms have pockets?", my dad's beach buddy Bob realized that "If yours have pockets, you forgot to take your pants off. Or you are mistaking the opening in the front for a pocket."
While my college roomie John asked, "Who wears pajama bottoms?", my tree-loving friend Ty knew that at least that college kids wear them to class.
My neighbor Stan, shared the following during Margarita night, insisting is it real. "Putting your hands in your pockets, a nurse told him, improves circulation." His wife Gail then said, "Right, for pocket pool," to which Stan tried to further explain that it prevents one from folding or laying on one's arms while sleeping."
My running buddy Tony believes, "for the multitaskers, it helps them stay organized even in bed."
Let it to my neighbor Dick, though, to be the pragmatist, saying, "I use mine to carry ID in case I sleep walk a long way from home! "
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
If you are "legally" drunk, what's the problem?
(with some help from my friend Matt)
Live well......laugh often....have a good week
Hal
While my college roomie John asked, "Who wears pajama bottoms?", my tree-loving friend Ty knew that at least that college kids wear them to class.
My neighbor Stan, shared the following during Margarita night, insisting is it real. "Putting your hands in your pockets, a nurse told him, improves circulation." His wife Gail then said, "Right, for pocket pool," to which Stan tried to further explain that it prevents one from folding or laying on one's arms while sleeping."
My running buddy Tony believes, "for the multitaskers, it helps them stay organized even in bed."
Let it to my neighbor Dick, though, to be the pragmatist, saying, "I use mine to carry ID in case I sleep walk a long way from home! "
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
If you are "legally" drunk, what's the problem?
(with some help from my friend Matt)
Live well......laugh often....have a good week
Hal
Friday, April 11
Monday, April 7
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
In response to last week's question, "How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?", my running buddy Tony concluded, "You don't make jokes about the one that was holding the shotgun at the wedding ." My friend Gian expanded on this by writing, "You never joke about a man who wants to kill you. "
My birthday bud Jon took a dangerous tack, answering "Because mother-in-law jokes are so damn easy! "My dad's beach buddy Bob wrote, "You never make fun of a good egg. " My friend Kevin added, "Just how funny is an old guy drinking a beer and watching sports in a recliner? "
My sailing friend Maria wrote what many men were reluctant to say, "Because fathers-in-law never have a chance to say anything worth joking about, their wives are always doing the talking." My friend Royce described them as "the original silent majority."
To this last point, my friend Richard shared "the famous story about the boy who proudly reports to his mother that he has been cast in the school play. She asks what part he was given. "The father-in-law," he proudly replies. She tells him to go back the next day and demand a speaking role instead." (more from Richard at the end of the email)
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
Why do pajama bottoms have pockets?
What do you put in them when going to bed? (from my neighbor Dick)
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
More from Richard:
Q: Why don't sharks eat mothers-in-law?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What is the difference between a Jewish mother and a Doberman?
A: Eventually the dog lets go.
My birthday bud Jon took a dangerous tack, answering "Because mother-in-law jokes are so damn easy! "My dad's beach buddy Bob wrote, "You never make fun of a good egg. " My friend Kevin added, "Just how funny is an old guy drinking a beer and watching sports in a recliner? "
My sailing friend Maria wrote what many men were reluctant to say, "Because fathers-in-law never have a chance to say anything worth joking about, their wives are always doing the talking." My friend Royce described them as "the original silent majority."
To this last point, my friend Richard shared "the famous story about the boy who proudly reports to his mother that he has been cast in the school play. She asks what part he was given. "The father-in-law," he proudly replies. She tells him to go back the next day and demand a speaking role instead." (more from Richard at the end of the email)
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
Why do pajama bottoms have pockets?
What do you put in them when going to bed? (from my neighbor Dick)
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
More from Richard:
Q: Why don't sharks eat mothers-in-law?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What is the difference between a Jewish mother and a Doberman?
A: Eventually the dog lets go.
Monday, March 31
What time zone is it at the South Pole?
In response to last week's question, "What time zone is it at the South Pole?", my sailing friend Caroline figured "it's time for a hot toddy!" while my video tech guru friend Gian more calmly suggested, "it's time to go home to a hot cocoa and Top Gear on the telly."
While my friend Richard suggested "it's time to go someplace warmer!", which my friend Royce more descriptively wrote, "who cares when you're trying to keep your tush from freezing off."
My dad's beach buddy Bob wrote, 'It depends on which way you are facing ," to which my friend Dave wrote, "Having been in Antarctica, I have gone "hmmmm...." over this before. It truly does make you wonder. Even outside the pole itself, much of the continent has long stretches where the sun never sets or never rises. So the whole rationale for picking a time zone is not astronomical. And since most of the continent is empty, coordinating time within the continent is not as high a priority as coordinating with the outside world. [More from David at the end of this note.]
My friends John and Kathleen added, "The U.S. station at the South Pole used New Zealand time because most Americans who go to Antarctica for the U.S. Antarctic Program fly from Christchurch, NZ." John added, "It’s amazing how many parallels there are between the North Pole and the South Pole; however, time zones are not one of them. (heh heh). One wise person surmised it doesn't matter because it's so cold you can't raise your sleeve long enough to look at your watch anyway!"
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
More from David: So, it turns out that each research base picks its own time zone, and they usually choose based on either the time zone of the nearest jumping off point for getting to the station (US stations do this), or of their home base (Russian stations except on the Antarctic peninsula do this).
For example, the station at the south pole (Amundsen) is run by the US and is usually reached from New Zealand, so it uses the NZ time zone. The US base on the coast nearest to NZ (McMurdo) also uses that time zone, but the US base on the peninsula uses Chile time. The Vostok station, run by Russia, is closer to the USA station at the Pole than any of those other stations, but it uses Moscow time.
From Scott: http://www.usatoday.com/weather/resources/askjack/2004-12-28-polar-times-_x.htm
While my friend Richard suggested "it's time to go someplace warmer!", which my friend Royce more descriptively wrote, "who cares when you're trying to keep your tush from freezing off."
My dad's beach buddy Bob wrote, 'It depends on which way you are facing ," to which my friend Dave wrote, "Having been in Antarctica, I have gone "hmmmm...." over this before. It truly does make you wonder. Even outside the pole itself, much of the continent has long stretches where the sun never sets or never rises. So the whole rationale for picking a time zone is not astronomical. And since most of the continent is empty, coordinating time within the continent is not as high a priority as coordinating with the outside world. [More from David at the end of this note.]
My friends John and Kathleen added, "The U.S. station at the South Pole used New Zealand time because most Americans who go to Antarctica for the U.S. Antarctic Program fly from Christchurch, NZ." John added, "It’s amazing how many parallels there are between the North Pole and the South Pole; however, time zones are not one of them. (heh heh). One wise person surmised it doesn't matter because it's so cold you can't raise your sleeve long enough to look at your watch anyway!"
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " :
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
More from David: So, it turns out that each research base picks its own time zone, and they usually choose based on either the time zone of the nearest jumping off point for getting to the station (US stations do this), or of their home base (Russian stations except on the Antarctic peninsula do this).
For example, the station at the south pole (Amundsen) is run by the US and is usually reached from New Zealand, so it uses the NZ time zone. The US base on the coast nearest to NZ (McMurdo) also uses that time zone, but the US base on the peninsula uses Chile time. The Vostok station, run by Russia, is closer to the USA station at the Pole than any of those other stations, but it uses Moscow time.
From Scott: http://www.usatoday.com/weather/resources/askjack/2004-12-28-polar-times-_x.htm
Sunday, March 23
Hmmm Week 12
In response to last week's question, "who was the lexicographer trying to help by calling a clover, which looks nothing like a rock, a sham-rock?", my friend Richard noted, "Probably the same faux (hence "sham") lexicographer who decided we clean our hair with shampoo, which fortunately neither looks or smells like ... well, you-know-what."
My skiing friend Mark noted that the lexicographer "knew those tricky leprechauns had fool's gold in their pot at the end of the rainbow, so a 'sham'rock' continued the theme."
My dad wrote, "An Irishman probably had too much St. Patrick's Day and didn't really know what he was looking at. " My friend Tracey agreed, "with enough green beer, it's amazing what you can see."
My sailing buddy Scott thought "fake-rock” didn’t sound as good ." And my friend Royce thought it was all part of a "ponzi" sham.
Then my cousin Amy realized that it was Fred Flintstone who called it a shamrock.
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " (and if you'll like my cousin Sunny, you are welcome to take a couple of days to think about it):
What time zone is it at the South Pole ?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
My skiing friend Mark noted that the lexicographer "knew those tricky leprechauns had fool's gold in their pot at the end of the rainbow, so a 'sham'rock' continued the theme."
My dad wrote, "An Irishman probably had too much St. Patrick's Day and didn't really know what he was looking at. " My friend Tracey agreed, "with enough green beer, it's amazing what you can see."
My sailing buddy Scott thought "fake-rock” didn’t sound as good ." And my friend Royce thought it was all part of a "ponzi" sham.
Then my cousin Amy realized that it was Fred Flintstone who called it a shamrock.
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' " (and if you'll like my cousin Sunny, you are welcome to take a couple of days to think about it):
What time zone is it at the South Pole ?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
Saturday, March 15
Hmmm (how to start your week)
In response to last week's question, "How do those dead bugs get in to those enclosed light fixtures? ", with no political correctness, my college roomie John noted, "to a bug, the light is Heaven with the number of virgins there tied to the bulb's wattage."
My Earthlink friend Lisa and friend Tracey concurred, writing, "at the end of their insect lives , they head toward the light. How they actually get into the fixture is a mystical question. " My birthday bud Jon agrees that "they saw the light" adding "and they weren't dead when they got in."
My sailing buddy Caroline attributed it to the same mystical force that causes socks to mysteriously disappear in the dryer.
My cousin Wes concluded "Scottie beamed them in" while my friend Richard explained, " Bugs worm their way in seeking enlightenment before they die. " My sailing buddy Scott thought this was some sort of death march.
Alas, my dad's beach friend Bob had the simpliest answer," They forgot to lighten-up ."
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' ":
Who was the lexicographer trying to help by calling a clover , which looks nothing like a rock, a sham-rock?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
Congratulations to Jon and Ruth, who daughter has her bat mitvah this Saturday.
My Earthlink friend Lisa and friend Tracey concurred, writing, "at the end of their insect lives , they head toward the light. How they actually get into the fixture is a mystical question. " My birthday bud Jon agrees that "they saw the light" adding "and they weren't dead when they got in."
My sailing buddy Caroline attributed it to the same mystical force that causes socks to mysteriously disappear in the dryer.
My cousin Wes concluded "Scottie beamed them in" while my friend Richard explained, " Bugs worm their way in seeking enlightenment before they die. " My sailing buddy Scott thought this was some sort of death march.
Alas, my dad's beach friend Bob had the simpliest answer," They forgot to lighten-up ."
Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmmm' ":
Who was the lexicographer trying to help by calling a clover , which looks nothing like a rock, a sham-rock?
Live well......laugh often....have a good week.
Hal
Congratulations to Jon and Ruth, who daughter has her bat mitvah this Saturday.
Friday, March 14
Week 10: How do those dead bugs get in to those enclosed light fixtures?
I've been sending questions that make you go "Hmmm" to friends, family and colleagues. I'm now expanding to include this blog so that more people can join in the fun.
I'll compile (and de-dup) the answers and post the answers on Monday mornings so you can get your week off to a good start.
I'll compile (and de-dup) the answers and post the answers on Monday mornings so you can get your week off to a good start.
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