Can you be short for your height?

A ponderable with the humor in the vein of George Carlin, Steven Wright and Demetri Martin...

In response to last week’s question, "Can you be short for your height?,"  my temple friend Richard summarized, "Of course you can. People come up short lots of times, and sometimes we are short with others, yet our height never changes. However, our stature often changes if we act small with others," to which my improv friend Bruce added, "if you're shortsighted."

My birthday bud Jon recalled, "Not if your legs are long enough to reach the ground, to borrow a line from Abraham Lincoln."  To this, my canyon-loving Utah friend Bruce added, "Only if there is a difference in the length of your legs" and my equestrian friend Royce wrote, "Only if you are small in stature."

My cycling friend Ted shard, "Yes, my wife is very tall in stature for all her 5 feet. Therefore logic dictates you can be short for your height as well.  BTW it is also possible to be really cute for your height too! (love you Carey!)"

My college roomie John explained, "It's all relative. I like to think I am tall for my height!  I was told at a very young age, "stand up straight, chest out, shoulders back (of course, men then suck in their belly)."

My sailing friend Norm lamented, "Yes, I have always been short for my height.  In a crowd, all I can see are bellies" while my social media friend Mark replied, "Yes. You are whatever your height is. I am short."

And my dad's beach buddy Bob cautioned, "There is a great difference between being tall, very tall and having a short curt answer."

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Why does ice float?  given that it is the same chemical make-up as its liquid form

Life  is too short for drama and petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly, and forgive quickly.   

Hal

Please join me in wishing my son and his new wife mazel tov and best wishes. They decided to have a judge marry them yesterday in Marietta.  They plan to celebrate their success of being a married couple sometime in the future, like after their first year,  instead of 'just celebrating their union.'  Welcome Natasha.

PS:  Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.  Stop by NicheLabs to see what else I'm up to.

Is the income tax return fiction or non-fiction?

A ponderable with humor in the vein of George Carlin, Steven Wright and Demetri Martin.

In response to last week’s question, "Is the income tax return fiction or non-fiction?," my birthday bud Jon debated, "I’m still trying to figure out if it’s tragedy or farce" while my social media friend Mark declared, "Definitely non-fiction, nothing but the facts. (NSA, I know you're watching.)

My temple friend Richard shared, "It is fiction. Money withheld from your pay that exceeds your actual tax is returned, so it is your money that is returned. “Income tax” is the money the US Government keeps. Perhaps you meant “income tax friction”? That’s real."   My leadership coaching friend Stuart  declared, "Nobody ever returned my income tax. Ergo, the income tax return must be fiction."  And my equestrian friend Royce lamented, "Partly truth and partly fiction, and in essence a written contradiction."

My dad's beach buddy Bob called out, "Absolutely fictional.  the numbers are manipulated, always are full of omissions and are supplied to fulfill the wildest dreams of the recipient agency."

My college roomie and actuary John proclaimed, "I swear my tax return is non-fiction!"

My writing and sailing friend Rich concluded, "Depends upon the reviewer.  If it is an IRS Auditor you better hope the title of your work is 'My Tax Return, being the true story of what I earned, owed and paid to the IRS', if the title is 'My Tax Return, How I tried fool the IRS for fun and profit' then it is going to be followed by the sequel 'My Tax Return, How I learned that the IRS has no sense of humor.' ”

And my sailing friend Norm professed, "I don't know if it's fiction.  It could be the  fault of Intel and Bill Gates etc...  Couldn't be this complicated if we didn't have the microprocessor and software to do our returns and track our dividends, etc.. !      Or maybe it's the fault of Fanny Fox !  You know, the hooker that got old congressman Wilbur Mills in trouble.  For the 20 years he chaired the House Ways & Means committee, he would allow no radical changes to the tax code, arguing that people needed to be able to plan long term.  Then he got in trouble when his girl, Fanny Fox got mad at him and took a nude swim in the Washington tidal basin.  That cost him the next election and we have had tax law changes every year since that time !"

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Can you be short for your height?  from my wife Alison

Life  is too short for drama and petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly, and forgive quickly.   

Hal

PS:  Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.  Stop by NicheLabs to see what else I'm up to.

When do you say 'nope' instead of 'no'?

Inspired by Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin, here are responses to last week’s question, " When do you say 'nope' instead of 'no'?,"   my social media friend Mark replied, "Nope is for when you want to stop the conversation. 'Nope...and I don't want to talk about this either'," to which my social collaboration friend Tricia expounded, "I say 'nope' when I mean it and there is no discussion.  Kind of a 'I can't believe you would even think that is a possibility' attitude.  :)    No, on the other hand, might mean we can discuss it or I don't think so at this time.  That's from your Southern friend" who enjoys eating at the Silver Skillet.   And my Parrothead friend Samantha concurred, "Nope is my automatic response when a student starts a conversation with, 'I know the exam was last week, but...' " "

My college roomie John responded, "If someone says, 'Yep'."  My cycling friend Ted concluded, "When you are sitting in a corn field with a piece of straw between your teeth (or tooth?)."

My sailing friend Bradley and my dad's beach buddy Bob  counseled, "When you speak to a dope, I always say nope to dope," to which my temple from Richard B amplified, "I’d say 'nope' if offered soap on a rope by a dope. I prefer to cope with a regular bar of soap. If I happen to drop it, I won’t mope or lose hope."

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Is the income tax return fiction or non-fiction?  (paraphrasing Herman Wouk)

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably And never regret anything that made you smile!   

Hal

PS:  Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.  Stop by NicheLabs to see what else I'm up to.

Is Madness good when it's not in March?

In response to last week’s question, "Is Madness good when it's not in March?," my dad's beach buddy Bob announced, "Always good when you are madly in love....with the right girl of course....mine of 63 years."

My temple friend Vivian declared, "Madness is good all year.  A little bit of madness each day keeps you sane!"  And my equestrian friend Royce asked, "Is this with or without meds?"

My writing and sailing friend Rich noted, "Not when that madness is the traffic in Snellville, where everybody who is somebody who is stuck in traffic."

My temple friend Richard concluded, "Yes, unless you’re talking about bovines (cows) or Election Day" while my PR friend Stan replied, "If your basketball bracket’s not busted, it can be really good."

My cousin Greg proclaimed, "I've been mad for 25 years now and going strong.  :)  "

And my cycling friend Ted shared, "People think my family is sane.  Well the reality is we are quite MAD all year long! I wish it was only March! and that is NOT good!"

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

When do you say 'nope' instead of 'no'?   inspired by Dimetri Martin

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably And never regret anything that made you smile!   

Hal

The Syracuse Orange made us proud holding their composure with UNC. Competitive, just not hot enough on Saturday.  Best wishes to UNC's men's team tonight AND the Syracuse Orangewomen, who made it to Tue's championship game.

PS:  Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.  Stop by NicheLabs to see what else I'm up to.