Why would someone say 'We're expecting some weather today'?

In response to last week’s question, " Why would someone say 'We're expecting some weather today'?" , Bruce, my friend at The Weather Channel shared, " Because that person wants to always be right."  To this, my friend Royce proposed, "They don't like commitment."

My writing and sailing friend Rich explained, "Because it doesn't matter whether it's hot or cold, whether it's dry or wet, whether it's windy or calm, there will always be weather, whether you like it or not." 

My dad's beach buddy Bob replied, "Only a person under the weather would not know the difference between weather and wether.*

My always insightful cousin Sunny (http://www.suncoach.com/category/blog), offered, "Because they live in Arizona and anything involving clouds or precipitation is called “weather”!  ;-) "  To this, my very musical engineering friend Blair surmised, "If they live in San Diego where every day is basically the same, they normally have no expectations."

My flying and cycling friend Ted noted, "As a pilot, if we are expecting some weather, we may need a barf bag. There also happens to be a term for when there is no weather-- the term is CAVU-- Ceiling And Visibility Unlimited."

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

When is it too much ?

Life may not be the party we had hoped for, but while we're here we should dance (and laugh).

Hal

*Wether is  a castrated male sheep.

On a personal note from my birthday bud Adam, " Wore my Parrotheads Atlanta shirt again this weekend, takes a licking and keeps on ticking."  It's nice to hear that my friends have their priorities and are doing well…..

[Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration.]

What is the difference between a caretaker and a caregiver?

In response to last week’s question, "What is the difference between a caretaker and a caregiver?", my birthday bud Jon declared, "Attitude."

My Dad sees this as, "A caregiver will bring your lunch to you. A caretaker takes the dirty lunch dishes back to the kitchen."  My writing and sailing friend Rich described it as, "A caregiver is more likely to feed you, a caretaker is more likely to dust you." And my neighbor Al explained, "it depends upon if you're in the bed or next to the bed.  Not to be confused with an undertaker. That's who you see if you have a bad care giver." 

My friend Buck concluded, "A caregiver takes care of you when you’re sick and dying. Then when you’re dead and gone,  the stuff you left behind is managed by your caretaker.  In between the caregiver and the caretaker is another taker: the undertaker."

My friend Royce queried, "One giveth and one taketh away?" to which my friend Andrew, a new contributor(!) replied, "The caretaker employs the caregiver to give care. The caregiver takes money from the caretaker in exchange for this service."  To this , my dad's beach buddy Bob added, "The caregiver waters the flowers and mows the lawn, the care taker pays the bill."

My Dish buddy John declared, "It depends on who is holding the wipes and who is wearing the diaper.  My mom tried to get me to sign a “Pillow” clause to keep her from falling back into the “Caretaker” phase of life.  I told her she’s just going to have to call Kevorkian but now that he’s gone she’s just going to have to find a dependable brand of diapers."

My cousin Wes took a practical view, "Actually you would think there is a difference, like you are my caregiver and I take.  But there is none."   Then my collaboration friend KJ spelled it out, "I associate caretakers with the dead and caregivers with the living. When looking it up in the dictionary, it seems a caretaker is someone placed in a position of authority for the affairs of something or someone who most likely can take care of themselves while a caregiver provides assistance and/or care to someone unable to fully take care of themselves, but may not have decision making power."   ." 

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Why would someone say 'We're expecting some weather today'?"

Life may not be the party we had hoped for, but while we're here we should dance (and laugh).

Hal

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration.

If the sign says 'Fine for Dumping Garbage,' why would the police issue you a ticket for dumping garbage there?

In response to last week’s question, "If the sign says 'Fine for Dumping Garbage,' why would the police issue you a ticket for dumping garbage there?", my writing and sailing friend Rich concluded, "The police use the same logic that your wife uses when she says that it is "fine with her" if you would rather go sailing with your buddies instead of spending the afternoon  planting her roses.  In both cases, if you can go ahead and do it, but be assured there will be a penalty."

My dad's beach buddy Bob observed, "It all depends on where the sign is placed....duhh."

My cycling and flying friend Ted noted, "Much like a speed trap, the cops use a double entendre to raise some revenue" to which my cousin Wes added, "Did u miss the .$500 number preceding "Fine"? Which makes it not so fine."

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

What is the difference between a caretaker and a caregiver? (from my golden retriever rescue friend Kate)

We don't stop laughing because we get old. We get old because we stop laughing.  Make it a priority to have fun and make others laugh.

Hal 

[Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration.]

What makes a hot dog All-American?

In response to last week’s question, "What makes a hot dog All-American?", my writing and sailing friend Rich provided a historical perspective, "The retched refuse.  Hot dogs are made from the leftovers of the butcher shop.  The U.S is made up of the leftovers from most of the world. Bill Murray said it best in Stripes, '... our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse'."

My friend Richard shared  that "the term “hot dog” has two meanings: 1) A frankfurter, typically heated and served on a long, split roll or bun.  OK, that’s not helpful.  2) A show off; one who performs tasks with additional flourishes in order to garner attention.  BINGO! That’s us all the way!  And that’s why there are so many “reality” shows on television."   My birthday bud Jon added, "just the fact that we changed the name from 'Frankfurter'."

My neighbor Al cautioned, "I'm not sure I want to know.  Some foods you just don't want to know where they come from."  To this, my friend Royce wrote,  "They are made of only the best of America's by-products unless they are Kosher."   And my dad's beach buddy Bob added, "The only place you can find kosher hot dogs is in America."

My cycling friend Ted noted that, "It's the fat, red dye #10 and all that sodium nitrite--and maybe the pigs lips and anuses too!!
Everybody sing--yes I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free (to eat weenies!)!"   My hiking friend Kelly explained, "Because the chemicals and meat by-products used in the production thereof could have only been invented in a laissez faire capitalistic economy such as the one we used to have here?!?!"

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

If the sign says “Fine for Dumping Garbage,” why would the police issue you a ticket for dumping garbage there?

We don't stop laughing because we get old. We get old because we stop laughing.  Make it a priority to have fun and make others laugh.

Hal 

[Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration.]