What are you compensating for?

In response to last week’s question, “What are you compensating for?,” my sailing friend Norm admitted, “When I say something stupid, I am compensating for being too smart!”

My temple friend Henry concluded, “I’m compensating for the fact that everyone else is too tall!”

My adjunct executive friend Lindy acknowledged, “I often find myself compensating for poor grammar, such as sentences ending in prepositions.”

And my dad’s beach buddy Bob shared, “As I drink my 3rd martini (and instructing the bartender to mix a 4th), I try to find a compensating factor that allowed us to graduate the ignorant "D of F" students who then moved into the NFL to earn multi-million dollar salaries.”

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

      What is a good scare?

Live well...laugh often and heartily.... have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

Here’s a Halloween treat – it’s a 21 second video to download.

Thu, Nov 16 will be an inspiring, uplifting evening to kick-off the holiday season.  I’m involved in the planning of the 13^th Annual Ecumenical Thanksgiving Celebration, which is in Marietta and streamed online.  Here is event info to attend in person and if you want to watch it live.

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.

Why is it called Uranus?

In response to last week’s question, “Why is it called Uranus?,”  my birthday bud Jon declared, “Because Myanus would just sound rude.  ‘Gee, I hope NASA decides to explore Myanus…’ ” to which my social media friend Mark added, “Who would name a planet after their own anus?”

My adjunct executive Lindy pondered, “Why not? It has to be named something” to which my cycling friend Ted called out, ”Cause Yours Ain't Mine!”

My neighbor Al advised, “Because at my age no one talks about my anus.”

My equestrian friend Royce determined it is “because it's at the ass end of our planetary system.”  Then my dad’s beach buddy Bob explained, “It's a Greek thing.  They estimate that there are at least 3100 persons in the world having this name which is around 0.001% of the population. The name Uranus has six characters. It means that it is relatively medium-length, not too long or far away from the real thing.”

And my Yiddish temple friend Bob sarcastically replied, “The planet was discovered by William Herschel, a British astronomer, born in Hanover Germany, who was of German and Czech-Jewish origin.  He first considered calling it Meinarschloch or Euretookus, but was talked out of it by his mother who preferred HerschelHighway.  It was his sister, Caroline, a fellow astronomer who finally decided on Uranus because of her fondness for cabbage.

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

      What are you compensating for?

Live well...laugh often and heartily.... have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.

What makes something edible?

In response to last week’s question, “What makes something edible?,” my adjunct executive friend Lindy observed, “Anything is edible that someone is willing to put in their mouths.  Volunteering in church nursery, I’ve seen that absolutely everything is edible – if it can be put in your mouth, it’s edible” to which my dad’s beach buddy Bob added, “when you get beyond the smell.”

My writing and sailing friend Rich concluded, “Edible means you can eat it and survive. Delicious means you can eat it and get fat and happy.” My cycling friend Ted called out, “There is great Wisdom in Brevity, so: BBQ Sauce!” And my temple friend Vivian’s brevity was, “When it’s chocolate!”

My temple friend Richard shared, “My philosophy has always been that if I am hungry enough, I will eat anything that isn’t nailed down…and if I can pry it loose, it isn’t nailed down!  The other great description that I once heard (and have used more than once) is ‘I’m so hungry I could the northbound end of a southbound skunk.’ ” 

When my temple friend Bob  declared, “Hunger,” my social media friend Mark expounded, “Only two things. 1. Hunger (I’m gonna starve if I don’t eat something”) and 2. Alcohol (“hey y’all, watch me eat this”)

My cousin Wes  replied, “If doesn't kill you or make you deathly ill, with exception of anything made of beets (except sugar beets), or slimmy cooked spinach, or liver or….enough said.”

My neighbor Al noted, “Ed has the same rights as anyone. So you have to look at Ed's capabilities and limitations to see if he is able.”  My cousin Valarie agreed, sharing, “If it's something my favorite uncle, Ed, is willing to do, it's edible. And he's willing to do a lot--he has wound layers and layers of fabric around the frame of a Piper Cub airplane* to restore it (and then flown it for years!), played handball for decades, climbed Machu Picchu in his 70s. So anything adventuresome that brings joy to life is Edible.”

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

      Why is it called Uranus? (From my disc golf friend Blake)

Live well...laugh often and heartily.... have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

*The Piper J-3 Cub is an American light aircraft that was built between 1937 and 1947, its fuselage a welded steel frame covered in fabric, seating two people in tandem. And I remember as an adult sticking my finger out through the gap where the door was held in place by a slide bolt!

Syracuse over #2 Clemson in football.  Syracuse’s biggest victory in, well, um, this century.  ;-)

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.

Is judging the fun part?

In response to last week’s question, “Is judging the fun part?”, my cycling friend Ted recalled, “Of course it is!! We did that in college with our notorious Beer Goggles on!”  Then my sailing friend Jan cautioned, “Judging is a burden. Not judging is liberating. "Let him without sin cast the first stone" and all that. Who likes to throw stones at people? It’s hard work. Having a beer with someone is much easier. “ 

My son Zak declared, “This is 100% of why the Internet exists.  There are plenty of metrics about attention.”

My temple friend Richard noted, “Being the judge certainly beats the heck out of being the defendant. However, in marriage, the rule is ‘Judge not, lest ye be judged…or divorced.’ ”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob observed, “I definitely think it would be great at a beauty pageant.  Selecting the best essay for a sholarship is not as pleasant because you know someone deserving will not get the help they need,” to which my equestrian friend Royce added, “Only if it's a Ms. Nude USA contest.”

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

      What makes something edible?

Live well...laugh often and heartily.... have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

My temple friend Sherri wanted to pass along her appreciation, as a Jewish mother, for Richard’s reply last week, “They will book your guilt trip free of charge, even if you hadn’t planned to take the trip at all!”  

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.

Who is a travel agent for a guilt trip?

In response to last week’s question, “Who is a travel agent for a guilt trip?”,

Rich Jones For my sins the list is long and full of annoyed women. His is why my grandmother told me that I need to start every conversation I have with a woman with “I’m sorry”.  

My cousin Greg declared, “Usually my mother,” to which my adjunct executive friend Lindy pointed out, “In my experience, Catholic mothers but my son says mothers in general.” 

My temple friend Tracey said, “Definitely a Jewish mother” which she is one of.  My PR friend Stan and cycling friend Ted agreed, “A Jewish mother. Nu, who else?”  And my temple friend Lesley added, “Any Jewish female who is someone's Mother or Grandmother.”  (Best wishes to Lesley and his wife Melanie on their son’s bar mitzvah this weekend.)

My temple friend Richard explained, “Parents in general, and Jewish mothers, in particular, are the expert travel agents for guilt trips.  In fact, they will book your trip free of charge, even if you hadn’t planned to take the trip at all!  They are Travelocity and Trivago all rolled into one for guilt trips.  They get you there fast and there’s always room for you at the Heartbreak Hotel.  My college roomie John concurred, “As parents, we are guilty.”

My equestrian friend Royce replied, “Anyone that you can blame.”

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

      Is judging the fun part?

Live well...laugh often and heartily.... have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.