Monday, December 31

How do you know that Santa Claus isn't (or wasn't) real?



In response to last week’s question,  “How do you know that Santa Claus isn't (or wasn't) real?”, my writing and sailing friend Rich, neighbor Al and Carolyn, the admiral, all replied “What are you saying, Santa is not real?”  My friend Blair added, “Didn’t you ever watch Miracle on 34th Street?! “  My cousin Wes jumped in, “What are you talking about? I am still getting presents from Santa Claus. What are you missing out on?” And then my social business co-chair Andy validated this, “I'm sure the people at The Sun have done their fact checking. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yes,_Virginia,_there_is_a_Santa_Claus )

My colleague Kelly declared, “Santa Claus IS real and is currently serving as President.”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob observed, “Because there weren't any footsteps in the snow on my roof.  Maybe it is because there isn't any chimney.  Hmmm  no snow either....”  My former colleague Bruce explained, “That's easy... I see his secret identity every day in the mirror....” 

My cycling friend Ted counted, “Let's look at this from an ethical and logical point of view. We always strive to teach our children to always be truthful, yet every year we tell them that some big fat guy in a red suit comes down from the North Pole in a flying sled (pulled by areodynamically incompetent ungulates none the less!!) and goes down the chimney of EVERY house on planet Earth in less than 12 hours!! Without any help from Garmin! Some geeky guy once calculated Santa's ground speed would have to be something like 5x the speed of light. Obviously, Einstein had a problem with the theory of ‘Santativity’.”

And then my friend Chris put everything in to perspective.   Chris shared, “I know that Santa Claus is real because I can see it in the joy and wonderment of every child on Christmas Eve. I can see it in the eyes of childhood as clearly as you see the sun or clouds. There is no doubt in my mind that he is real for I see it all year in the giving of time, effort and devotion from even the poorest of us all, to their fellow man. Santa Claus is real because love, friendship and kindness are real. It would be a weary and sad world if Santa Claus wasn't real and I dare not think of a place so horrible. Santa Claus is real I tell you and he will always remain so, as long as there are childish whims, imagination and love in this world.”

And to this, my sailing and ceviché making friend Maria wrote, “Happy, merry holidays and prospero ano Nuevo!”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

What New Year’s resolution will you not keep?
Life  is too short for drama and petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly, and forgive  quickly.
Hal

Wishing you and your family a year of health, wealth and happiness.  Live everyday to its fullest; we’re counting on you.   My family friend Fred added, “I love your final word about kissing slowly (as the years go on, you may have to edit it to “kiss without drooling”.

Shared with respect and love for George Carlin, Steven Wright and  Demetri Martin.

Monday, December 24

Is it better to give and be re-gifted, than never give at all?



In response to last week’s question,  “Is it better to give and be re-gifted, than never give at all?”,  my Dish friend John declared, “Better to be regifted than to find the resting place for all the gifts I've given my parents through the years that they never used. Where is the island of misfit toys when you need it?”  My writing and sailing friend Rich added, “It's a 3-fer of joy. One, the joy you get in giving a gift. Two, the joy the re-gifted person gets when they receive the gift.  Three, the sheer happiness the original receiver gets at being shed of the reminder that you really don't understand them at all.

My friend Royce concluded, “It's always better to get it while you can.” 

My cousin Wes explained, “Of course since we are told, "It is the thought that counts"…..the thoughts just keep going.   BTW: Is it better to be regifted or "White Elephanted"?”  My dad’s beach buddy Bob challenged, “I hate it when they regift by returning the tie I gave them last year.”

Then my friend Swany replied, “This reminds me of taxes and entitlements, so I say it’s better never to give at all.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

How do you know that Santa Claus isn't (or wasn't) real?
Life  is too short for drama and petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly, and forgive  quickly.
Hal

To all of my Christian friends, Merry Christmas; may it be joyous and meaningful.  To my Jewish and other non-Christian friends:  Chinese food on Tuesday?

Monday, December 17

When does silence become awkward?



In response to last week’s question,  “When does silence become awkward?”, my friend Royce recalled, “When ‘Was it as good for you as it was for me’ doesn't work.” My neighbor Al thought differently, writing, “If it's in a real noisy environment. Just before you let out that four letter expletive that you didn't want anyone to really hear. Or a crude response: when the bean chili and beer catch up.”

My newly retired friend Bruce described it as, “silence... awkward? aaaaaa.......mmmmmm.......aaaaaa....about now.”

My engineering friend Steve explained, “When one of the parties start squirming,” to which my Parrothead friend Sam was a little more compassionate, “Awkward silence... As soon as you realize there is silence and you wonder if it is awkward.”  Then my writing and sailing friend Rich suggested, “When the Elephant in the room is standing on your toe.”

My friend Swany proposed, “If the silence occurs immediately after..."and Hal, do you take Alison to be your lawfully wedded wife....?"

My dad’s beach buddy Bob replied, “When you are told you are receiving a raise and you thought you were going to be fired.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Is it better to give and be re-gifted, than never give at all?

Life  is too short for drama and petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly, and forgive  quickly.

Hal

From the prior week’s question, my neighbor Al had observed, “It all has to do the "Hunter Gatherer" theory.  Men hunt woman ..... Women collect men.”  My sailing friend Michael shared, “This reminded me of a quote from Zsa Zsa Gabor.  “I’m a housekeeper.  I marry men.  I divorce them.  I keep their house.”



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Monday, December 10

Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?



In response to last week’s question,  “Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?”, my organizational behavior guru Marya  submitted simply, “My only response is "Well, DUH!"  ;-)  ”  Yet my dad’s beach buddy Bob wrote that this one “has me stumped.  Where is the man who understands women?”  My college roomie John concurred, “Women are like art - beautiful, interesting, complex, and most Men do not understand art, including myself.” To this, my friend Royce added, “I think Sigmund Freud tried to answer that same question and failed.”

My social business adviser Andy noted, “I like it.  Acceptable sexism.... :)    Maybe it's because men are always looking for boat accessories and no man has ever been accused of having a face that launched a thousand ships....”

My friend Richard determined he’d “go with Jeff Foxworthy’s rationale. He says men only think about 3 things:  Beer, naked women, and sports.  Sometimes they combine all 3:  “I’d like to watch the ballgame while a naked woman brings me my beer.”  Women HAVE to be more interesting by default.”

My friend Chris observed, “Because style is a gender thing and EVERYBODY likes the shiny things in life :)   ”  My sailing and writing friend Rich concluded, “It is just one their many super-powers.”  And my friend Swany shared the primitive response, “boobies.” My colleague Kelly then shared, “Because they’re so curvy in the right places.  Really, after about a year of marriage they’re not all that super interesting… but I think that’s a two-way street.  One day I’m going to have to learn when to keep my thoughts to myself!

My Parrothead friend Samantha explained, “Men tend to display (in the animal kingdom), so there just isn't that much of a mystery.  This does not peak as much interest for some.  Women on the other hand, are very mysterious and can conceal a lot about their true nature, which leads to interest.  Think of Jimmy Buffett's Woman Goin’ Crazy on Caroline Street.”

My neighbor Al observed, “It all has to do the "Hunter Gatherer" theory.  Men hunt woman ..... Women collect men.”

My birthday bud Jon challenged, “Men have better judgment” and my cycling friend Ted concluded, “Hmmm--do we really have to go there?

 Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

When does silence become awkward?

Life  is too short for drama and petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly, and forgive  quickly.

Hal

Today is the 2nd day and 3rd  night of Chanukah.  Got it?

From the prior week’s question about the “top of the hour” that  my friend Swany said was, “:0000000 (binary),” my neighbor Al explained that the number 12 in binary is 1100, not 0000,   so we’re back to asking when is the top of the hour on a digital chronometer  (clock).

Monday, December 3

When is the ‘top of the hour’ on a digital watch?



In response to last week’s question,  “When is the ‘top of the hour’ on a digital watch?”,  my friend Chris determined it’s “when it is half past the bottom.  :P  ”  However, Chris’s and my friend Swany said it was, “:0000000 (binary).”  My dad’s beach buddy Bob then explained, “always at Zero, 24 times a day.”

My friend Royce determined it is when it is “At the top of the watch,” to when my “loving retirement” friend Bruce explained, “There is no simple answer other than "it depends upon a myriad of factors."  First is what is considered in the phrase "top"?  If we reference that "top" means "upper most part", then we must determine where "up" is for the digital clock in question.... This is totally subject to interpetation based on ones current understanding of the spacial relationships of yaw. roll. pitch, the "ever-expanding universe", and time (according to current dimensional thought). Hmmm - I'll get back to you at the top of the hour.”

 Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Why are women... so much more interesting to men than men are to women?  (from my friend Kosol)

Life  is too short for drama and petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly, and forgive  quickly.

Hal

The first night of Chanukah is this Saturday.  Yeah!