Is the income tax return fiction or non-fiction?

A ponderable with humor in the vein of George Carlin, Steven Wright and Demetri Martin.

In response to last week’s question, "Is the income tax return fiction or non-fiction?," my birthday bud Jon debated, "I’m still trying to figure out if it’s tragedy or farce" while my social media friend Mark declared, "Definitely non-fiction, nothing but the facts. (NSA, I know you're watching.)

My temple friend Richard shared, "It is fiction. Money withheld from your pay that exceeds your actual tax is returned, so it is your money that is returned. “Income tax” is the money the US Government keeps. Perhaps you meant “income tax friction”? That’s real."   My leadership coaching friend Stuart  declared, "Nobody ever returned my income tax. Ergo, the income tax return must be fiction."  And my equestrian friend Royce lamented, "Partly truth and partly fiction, and in essence a written contradiction."

My dad's beach buddy Bob called out, "Absolutely fictional.  the numbers are manipulated, always are full of omissions and are supplied to fulfill the wildest dreams of the recipient agency."

My college roomie and actuary John proclaimed, "I swear my tax return is non-fiction!"

My writing and sailing friend Rich concluded, "Depends upon the reviewer.  If it is an IRS Auditor you better hope the title of your work is 'My Tax Return, being the true story of what I earned, owed and paid to the IRS', if the title is 'My Tax Return, How I tried fool the IRS for fun and profit' then it is going to be followed by the sequel 'My Tax Return, How I learned that the IRS has no sense of humor.' ”

And my sailing friend Norm professed, "I don't know if it's fiction.  It could be the  fault of Intel and Bill Gates etc...  Couldn't be this complicated if we didn't have the microprocessor and software to do our returns and track our dividends, etc.. !      Or maybe it's the fault of Fanny Fox !  You know, the hooker that got old congressman Wilbur Mills in trouble.  For the 20 years he chaired the House Ways & Means committee, he would allow no radical changes to the tax code, arguing that people needed to be able to plan long term.  Then he got in trouble when his girl, Fanny Fox got mad at him and took a nude swim in the Washington tidal basin.  That cost him the next election and we have had tax law changes every year since that time !"

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Can you be short for your height?  from my wife Alison

Life  is too short for drama and petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly, and forgive quickly.   

Hal

PS:  Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.  Stop by NicheLabs to see what else I'm up to.