If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, what would you do?

In response to last week’s question, " If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, what would you do?", my neighbor Dick wrote, "Personally, I would have a drink in celebration of their memory" while my friend Royce was a little more compassionate when he said he would " Call 911 and go get a beer."

My college roomie John offered to "save the lawyer and hope he or she is a tax lawyer that can help me pay less going forward!" My sailing friend Kurt realized that "since the lawyer might be able to help me with the IRS and the IRS agent would probably audit me for rescuing him, I'd throw the lawyer a life preserver." My friend Gian asked, "Whose lawyer and what type? I have nothing against the IRS, but it makes a difference."

My writing and sailing buddy Rich noted, "Since I am indecisive, I would throw an anvil in between them and let them fight it out." "Considering that one of them might be able to swim," observed my wood-turning friend Doug, "you need to be fair to both. The answer is obvious: throw each of them an anchor." Doug and my friend Stuart offered to "toss them a lead life jacket to share." And my neighbor Al wrote, "I'd apologize to the IRS agent, and toss the lawyer an anvil to hold on to. That is that I'd apologize that I only had one anvil." My equally uncompassionate cousin Wes suggested, "Row between them and hit both with a oar as you go by."

My dad's beach buddy Bob noted, "Save the IRS because the lawyers put the rules together that fleece us. IRS agents aren't that smart when you take away their rule book." My organizational mgmt friend Marya proposed, "the IRS Agent because you can't file bankruptcy against them." My former colleague Swany somewhat agreed when he said, " The question really becomes “Who would you like to have gratefully indebted to you?” Since you can’t trust a lawyer and his gratefulness would last only as long as he was wet, then it has to be the IRS agent. Mind you, this is only after you have resisted the temptation to throw them both a cinder block while they’re flailing about in the water."

My insightful friend Chris thought that this to be the beginnings of a good joke, so here comes the punchlines...
1) Why do you think I taped money to the bottom of the pool in the first place?
2) I can't save either of them because I am on my break.
3) Well I can save the IRS agent, but he needs to make an appointment first so we can audit his activity as to how he happened in this predicament in the first place. Of course I would charge him a huge percentage of his income for the audit.
4) Well I can save the lawyer, but he needs to sign an affidavit first stating he would not sue me for any liabilities after the fact. Of course I would charge him a huge fee for the court fees it would cost to file the affidavit.
5) I think ethically I could let both of them drown because in the long run I could run for public office and win on the platform that I tried to save them both from themselves but they weren't bi-partisan enough to help me help them.

And then my dad put it all in perspective: "You could but would you? 1 little letter difference."

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ”:

Why do you write something down, but type it up? from my birthday bud Jon

Live well...laugh often and heartily….be happy, have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

Yes, there's more. My videographer friend Ivan was in his often entertaining way when he wrote:

Okay Hal, this will never happen because it is too good to be true, but like winning the lottery I never play, it is fun to think about.
Again, with logic guiding my every move here, this is my top 10 list for the week.

10) First kill all the lawyers! Okay, Shakespeare, it is generally accepted, was saying that the best way to bring down a society would be to first kill all the lawyers, chaos would rule for there could be no police without prosecution to back the arrest, and no law to support Government, etc. So with this in mind, First I guess I would save the lawyer. So long IRS man.

9) I would throw myself into the water. Being able to save only one, I would save myself!

8) I would save the IRS agent. The gathering sharks would surround the lawyer, and in an act of professional courtesy would carry him/her off to safety. Two saves for the price of one.

7) Drowning? What drowning? I don't see anyone drowning...

6) Since I was the guy who pushed them into the cold, dark, turbulent, shark infested icy waters in the first place, what makes you think I would save either one?

5) If I save the wrong one, I am going to need a lawyer to defend me when I get sued by the estate of the one I did not save. Sorry IRS agent.

4) Heads I save the Lawyer, Tails I save the IRS agent. Better yet, throw the coin in and make a wish.

3) I'd have to think about it for a while, but they would be the first to know once the answer came to me!

2) Just because you can save only one doesn't mean you have to save either! -- The logical fallacy of limited choices. -- Think outside the box, save neither. WIN WIN!

1) I am never far from my Video Camera. Hello FOX NEWS, I've got a Two-Fer to sell you...