“What is the role for today’s pirate?

In response to last week’s question, “What is the role for today’s pirate?,”  my baseball loving friend Richard lamented, “In baseball, most years it’s finishing out of contention for a playoff spot.”  He then added, “Pirates also serve as landing strips for parrots.”

My adjunct executive friend Lindy observed, “French pirates prefer croissants.  A British pirate might prefer English muffins. If there were Polish pirates, they would desire Bublik.  All rolls are not equal.”

My sister Lorrie declared, “Two words - Wall Street” to which my equestrian friend Royce’s two words were, “Wells Fargo.”  And my college roomie John concluded, “Hacking into a company like Equifax.”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob complained, “To blow smoke into everyone's face so they can't see what is coming......It's the political way of life.”

My collaboration friend Tricia explained, “I think pirates are good for Halloween costumes and funny jokes with Arrrrrr. Also, my favorite pirate is Captain Jack Sparrow  - for obvious reasons. Lol!  On the other hand, I think real life pirates remind us that the world is not a perfect place, but one of adventure and a quest for treasure. Aren't we all on a quest for some kind of treasure?  Hmmmm. Arrrrrrr we pirates?!

My cycling friend Ted recalled, “They give sailing lessons on Lake Lanier, coax you while you're out there, and then bring you back for some good beer and barbecue.”

And my sailing friend Norm’s research concluded, “Like always, theft and mayhem.  Just check out the quarterly Pirate Report in Cruising Outpost Magazine Spring 2017 Issue (see bottom of this email).

Please send me your thoughts about this week's "things that make you go 'Hmmm' ":

       Who is a travel agent for a guilt trip?

Live well...laugh often and heartily.... have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

To my Jewish friends and family, wishing y’all a Happy New Year.  To them and everyone during these Days of Awe, may your be inscribed in the Book of Life for 5778.

Thanks to Demetri Martin, Steven Wright and George Carlin for the inspiration for Hmmm.   I invite you to call or email me to catch up.

From Cruising Outpost Magazine Spring 2017 Issue:

ACTIVE PIRACY REPORT from the ICC - A Narrative of the Most Recent Attacks (as of press time) 

April 29, 2017 - 0737 UTC, around 47nm SW of Bonny Islands, Nigeria: Armed pirates in a speedboat approached and boarded a general cargo vessel underway. Alarm raised, SSAS activated and all crew retreated into the citadel. The Owners notified the IMB Piracy Reporting Centre, who in turn informed and liaised with the Nigerian Navy. A naval vessel was dispatched to assist the vessel. The pirates' damaged ship’s equipment, stole crew cash and belongings and escaped before the naval team boarded the vessel to rescue the crew. All crew reported safe. 

April 28, 2017 - 0620 UTC, Georgetown Anchorage, Guyana: Duty officer on routine rounds onboard a seismic support vessel noticed a boat alongside the vessel and raised the alarm. Seeing the alerted crew, five robbers were seen escaping with stolen ship’s properties. 

April 22, 2017 - 1442 YTC, Around 5.7nm East of Somali Coast, Somalia: Six armed persons in a skiff chased and fired upon a tanker underway. Master raised the alarm and sent a distress message, to which a warship responded. The skiff chased the tanker for nearly two hours and then moved away due to the continuous evasive maneuvers. One crew reported injured. 

April 22, 2017 - 0300 LT, Batangas, Philippines: Unnoticed, robbers boarded an LPG tanker at berth, stole the ship’s properties and escaped. The theft was discovered by the crew during routine rounds. 

April 19, 2017 - 0845 UTC, around 59nm SSW of Brass, Nigeria: Nine pirates in a skiff approached and fired upon a tanker underway. Alarm raised, fire pumps started and non-essential crew retreated to the citadel. Vessel increased speed and conducted evasive maneuvers. While the Master communicated with the escort vessel the skiff was seen aborting and moving away. Crew and tanker reported safe.