If you're a size 0, do you exist?

In response to week’s question, “If you're a size 0, do you exist?", my sailing and writing friend Rich observed, “Only in her imagination.”

My friend Richard shared, “Donuts represent themselves as a “0, and they most certainly exist …. But not for long!”  My college roomie John countered, “You do not exist if you are size 0; but size 0 is only temporary, so at some point you will exist.”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob responded, “Position....Birth Canal....moving into position....soon to be a plus something.”

My birthday bud Jon shared, “Unfortunately, you would be a role ‘model.’ ”   And my friend Royce wrote, “ Sounds like a Jean Paul Sartre existentialist theory to moi.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Why do so many people express their thankfulness by overeating?

Today is the oldest you’ve ever been yet the youngest you’ll ever be.  Enjoy this day while it lasts and remember to smile.

Hal

I’m thankful for my wife, family, my paid job, my volunteer roles and my friends  -- the friends I know and the friends I’ve not yet met.  Wish you a joyous and warm Thanksgiving.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

In response to last week’s question, “If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? ”, my friend Richard concluded, “because truly “plastic people” only have friends who are also plastic.  You have to have money to attract truly plastic people, and they don’t grow on trees, you know … Although it is easy to see how you could think they do from watching “reality shows” on TV.  To this my friend Tracey, whose son did a great performance in a local production of Rent,  expanded, “Think Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie or any of the Kardashians.” My sailing friend Kurt agreed, adding, “but who really wants to be their friends?”

My birthday bud Jon replied, “That's a tough one, well beyond my Ken.”  But my friend Royce found an answer, “Sounds like Barbie got elected to Congress.”

My sailing friend Mike observed, “Heck you have to BUY Barbie herself.  Does that make her a hooker….or is she too high-classed for that (an escort!)?   My dad used to tease me that women were like boats.  It wasn’t the cost of the hull that’d break the bank, it was the cost of the rigging!”  My cycling friend Ted agreed, “We all know that Barbie's real profession is a rather old one, and as they say--birds of a feather flock together!”

My cable marketing friend Patrick shared, “She’s obviously in a sorority.”  My sailing and writing friend Rich concluded, “because she has such a plastic personality.”  My friend Swany thought it was “to pay for all the 'plastic' surgery.”  My comedic friend Bruce explained, “it’s because Mattel didn’t make play money for her to buy them herself.”  Keeping up to date with current trends, my dad’s beach buddy Bob knew it was “because Ken is finally fed up with the tattoos.”

Then my TKE friend Alan countered that “somebody has to idolize her otherwise she wouldn’t know she’s so popular.”

My social-business co-chair Andy “blamed Facebook for devaluing the interpersonal relationship.  (See http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2058281/So-Facebook-Most-people-TWO-close-friends.html?ito=feeds-newsxml)    Now I'm off to buy followers on twitter.  :)   ”  

And then my neighbor Al put all of this into perspective, writing, “In one way or another we all buy our friends.  A true friend is a great investment of time, love, honesty, and respect.  An acquaintance is the new investment which has not yet reached as high of a rate of return.  ( And sadly we all have a few junk bonds in our portfolio.)”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

If you're a size 0, do you exist?"  (from my friend and former colleague Kerstin)

Today is the oldest you’ve ever been yet the youngest you’ll ever be.  Enjoy this day while it lasts and remember to smile.

Hal

If you’re in ATL on Thu evening, join us for a inspiring, uplifting and humorous community event.  For info, visit http://www.facebook.com/pages/Ecumenical-Thanksgiving-Service/119602054760740

If you are not around, are you a-square?

A ponderable with the humor in the vein of George Carlin, Steven Wright and Demetri Martin.

In response to last week’s question, “if you are not around, are you a-square?”,  my left-leaning birthday bud Jon concluded, “You can be both. Like Rush Limbaugh.”

My friend Richard proposed, “You could just be amorphous. Or possibly asymmetric.”  My neighbor Dick countered, “I'd rather be a-triangle, but I would try not to be obtuse.”

My cycling and possibly running friend Ted responded, “if you’re not around, your just not there, but not a square.”  My dad’s beach buddy Bob challenged, “Much depends on your whereabouts.”

My M&M’s friend Jeff recalled, “the infamous words of Huey Lewis and the News "it's hip to be square" therefore when I am not around I AM square!”

My DISH advisor Brett observed, “If you are around 'too much,' you are most likely very square."  And my friend Alan concurred, “I’m definitely a-“round” all the time, including when I’m around….”

My friend Royce questioned, “But what happens when I go around a city square? Can I do that?”  And my cousin Wes asked, “If you are a trapezoid, is that like paranoid (para-llel lines)?   

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

When would you be completely full (instead of simply ‘full’)?

Today is the oldest you’ve ever been yet the youngest you’ll ever be.  Enjoy this day while it lasts and remember to smile

Hal

Do paranoid people feel like people are always paying attention to them?

A ponderable with the humor in the vein of George Carlin, Steven Wright and Demetri Martin.

In response to last week’s question, “Do paranoid people feel like people are always paying attention to them?”,  my birthday bud Jon quickly responded,  “Yes, Hal.  And I know you’re listening…”  My sailing friend challenged, “No, but they are worried they might be.”

My dad’s beach buddy Bob observed, “only if they are narcissistic.”

My sailing friend Vaughn shared, “As a paranoid person, I have to tell you that yes they do, especially when they have nothing better to do.”  Then my friend Royce added, “They are only paying attention to me so they can get something! We paranoids have rights you know. So leave us alone.”

My cousin Wes replied, “And looking at them, laughing at them, spying on them, plotting against them, invoking the Patriot Act  and generally acting like the TSA, NSA and CIA.”  

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

if you are not around, are you a-square?  From my Habitat-building and sailing friend Henry

Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

Syracuse U  football beat #15 WVU by a lot on Friday.  Yes, there is always hope.  Have a great week.

Do monkeys people-around?

A ponderable with the humor in the vein of George Carlin, Steven Wright and Demetri Martin,

 

In response to last week’s question, “Do monkeys people-around?”,  my cousin Valarie concluded, “Monkeys are too intelligent to ape humans.”  My dad’s beach buddy Bob agreed, “The smart ones don't.  They know when they are well off” to which my friend Kevin added, “Given the nature of some people....I think that might be insulting to monkeys.”

My sailing friend Scott believes, “Only on sailboats…” while my friend Royce added, “It depends on the species. Gad! I sound like a primatologist.”

My sailing friend Vaughn wrote, “Yes, monkeys people around or they did in the Tarzan movies with Johnny Wiessmuller.”  Another  sailing friend, Kurt, wrote “after several million years of evolution, yes” to which my friend Tracey clarified, “monkeys only people around when we aren't looking.”

My friend Swany explained, “I’m a believer.”  See his punny note at the bottom of email.

My flying and biking friend Ted shared, “Absolutely!! You witnessed one "peopleing" around on my son's head when we were in Costa Rica!! (pictured)

My friend Chris wrote, “I am inclined to say no, other than the obvious 'Curious George' and other cartoon like characters which are based solely on fiction. If monkeys people-around then you would see monkeys dressed up in suits with briefcases talking about the financial aspects of our current economic situation...which we don't.”

Please share your thoughts about "things that make you go 'Hmmm' “:

Do paranoid people feel like people are always paying attention to them?   From my friend Lesley

Live well...laugh often and heartily…. have a good week and never regret anything that made you smile!

Hal

From my friend Swany:  Hey, hey.  A while ago I was returning from Tennessee, on the last train from Clarksville, trying to get to Pleasant Valley Sunday and I was observing a young group of males bopping about from seat to seat.  Now I'm a believer of having some good clean fun but I was trying to get some pillow time.  I approached one of these long-haired free spirits and said, "For Pete's sake, I'm trying to get a little shut-eye here."  He promptly and so lightheartedly replied, "Tomorrow's going to be another day, we're just looking for the good times man."  Bewildered I responded, "So you're saying I need to lighten up and just put up with your 'good times?'  Well, I'm not your stepping stone!"  With that the rest of the jovial gang paused and one spoke out, "Man, you need to find your own dream world and get out of those shades of grey.  Life is too short."  Realizing I was quickly outnumbered I slumped back in my seat and tried to figure out what the heck that meant.  Sometime in the morning it finally came to me, it was about enjoying life.  I thought to myself, I wanna be free like them.  Not tied down to the rat race of life...carefree and fun!"  As the train came to a stop I felt rejuvenated.  I popped up from my seat a free man.  I quickly gathered my belongings and was excited to start fresh.  I jumped from the train car and stepped right into a pile of horse manuer.  My leather shoe was coverd in something that looked like a brown tapioca sunday.  As I looked up I saw the four young guys walking away and one turned around to see my predicament.  He winked at me and said, "Lookout, here's comes tomorrow."  It was a quick lesson in life and later I was reading the local paper and saw those same guys from the train.  It was a band called The Monkees.  So in regard to this week's question - yes, monkeys or monkees can people-around.